Pakistani woman disfigured in acid attack commits suicide

It’s appalling for one woman in Pakistan, and appalling for all women in Pakistan. A woman flees her abusive husband, he allegedly retaliates by throwing acid on her. The husband is acquitted—many believe because of his political connections.

Read Prominent Pakistani acid victim commits suicide, on

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66 Comments on "Pakistani woman disfigured in acid attack commits suicide"

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here’s a good article on shame.
Another one on shame and rapists
another one on how to deal with shame with laughter
Heck, this guy has done nothing but study shame for 20 years it seems like!

The original psychoanalyst who studied bypassed shame was Helen Lewis.
quote from Scheff:

Lewis was both a research psychologist and a practicing psychoanalyst at the time of her first study of shame (1971). One of her major contributions is the idea that shame is inherently a social emotion. Her formulation was bio-social: human beings are social by biological inheritance. That is, she saw shame as an instinct that has the function of signaling threats to the social bond. Just as the instinctual emotion of fear signals danger to life and limb, shame also signals a potential threat to survival, especially for an infant, threat to a social bond.

So shame is not the same as conscience. Infants have shame but not conscience. Shame is the pain of being found lacking and rejected. It is based on FEAR because a human being alone cannot survive.

The study of shame is done just as Dr. Leedom described. Shaming episodes should show evidence of shaming. And it does, but rather than looking embarrassed, the psychopath responds with anger and rage. Or with no response at all, they get a “blank look”.

The studies are out there, they are NUMEROUS. This is not my opinion, I’ve been reading and reading and reading for 3 years. There are many scienctific journals out there.

G1S, BTW, one of the signs of bypassed shame is incessant talking… didn’t you say your sister and mother do that? I found it in one of the above articles.


Thanks for the explanation. I appreciate you taking the time to type that and there is so much good information there…thank you!


Yep, the “blank look”…I know it very, very well.

Incessant talking? HA, that is ALL mine did. Remember I have posted a few times how he talks and talks, but he never really says anything?

WOW, I am learning so much!

ewwww… you slimed me when I imagined him talking!
I think the 3rd link is the one that describes the incessant talking.

Mine didn’t talk that much, unless he was working a con. I should’ve known… ick.

It was as if he thought that by talking, he could make his lies come true in my mind. It was so boring I wanted to kill myself rather than listen to him. But I was severely punished if I ever interrupted: he would START OVER.
really…. really…

and if I didn’t pay attention, he would rage and start over again.

I slimed myself just remembering it.

You know I noticed when my son C who was NOT a good liar was getting ready to lie to me he would talk and talk and add details like if he added enough details it would make it believable. Actually what it did was to clue me that he was going to tell a lie.

I read somewhere that even the detectives and FBI guys that are expert profilers are only about 50% right in detecting lies but you know if you know a person (a particular person) and how they act you can do better than that in detecting lies I think.

With Patrick I just finally got to the point that if his lips were moving he was lying…LOL I can’t think of the times he has told the TRUTH they are so rare. In reading his letters to the Trojan Horse and his medical records I realized just how much he had lied…and the complexity of his cons. Not only to me but to the prison therapist and medical personnel. There would always be a GRAIN of truth in the lies, but he would use that for plausible deniability if he got caught. Like when he had his smuggled cell phone, he didn’t want to be moved into the barracks out of a 2-man cell so he told the social worker that he needed to stay in a cell because of the deaths in the family and his “nephew” had died…well the “nephew” was his brother C’s step son that he had never met, never talked to, never communicated with in any way so his “grief” was a bit over stated but it had a “grain” of truth in it…and so they let him stay in a 2-man cell where it was easier to hide his cell phone than it would have been in the barracks. He pithed someone off though and they ratted him out and he got to go to solitary and was transferred to maximum security as well as being kicked out of craft shop which was where he had stuff smuggled in by bribing guards. When I went to get his boot making equipment (a truck load of it) I found 2 more cell phones hidden in his supplies so he had him a little industry going there.

The Trojan Horse would lie to me by answering a question with either another question, or an “I don’t know” or he would say something like when I asked him if my egg donor gave him the money for his new truck he said “Oh, I have friends in Texas” which is a true statement and he denied it was lying, just leading me down the wrong conclusion, but I said it was DECEPTION and that equals a lie. My mistake with him was that I didn’t kick him off the farm that very day. I gave him another chance. NO more second chances when people lie to me.

Louise, I am glad that you found comfort in my post although I am not sure which one you mean.

Speaking of hypnosis, I went out to run some errands this afternoon. On the highway, I passed a car that had one of those custom-ordered magnetic business signs on the side. It was for hypnosis! Never saw that around here before.

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