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Pakistani woman disfigured in acid attack commits suicide

It’s appalling for one woman in Pakistan, and appalling for all women in Pakistan. A woman flees her abusive husband, he allegedly retaliates by throwing acid on her. The husband is acquitted—many believe because of his political connections.

Read Prominent Pakistani acid victim commits suicide, on MSNBC.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.


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Louise

Truthspeak:

I am finally trying to catch up on everyone’s posts.

I feel anger towards myself AND him. At myself for being duped and at him for doing the duping.

That is why I don’t want to date AT ALL. I do not want to jump from the frying pan into the fire and it’s not fair to someone for me to go out with them when I am still healing.

There is one thing I do channel my anger into and that’s exercise. Thank God I have that or I would surely have gone crazy by now!

Thanks, Truthspeak…onto the next post…

Louise

20years:

What you said about the dagger is true. I am trying to pull it out! 🙂

darwinsmom

Louise,

I think there is a “key” in what you described as you feeling the need to be the “good” one.

When I had my identity crisis at 24 (14 years ago) this was something I ended up understanding through therapy (individual and group therapy for 2 year in total). While I was ousted by my peers in elementary school and early HS, I becaome to seriously doubt my own self-worth. “Why wouldn’t want anyone not want to be friends with me?” I felt a failure. My parents tried to counter this self-doubt by telling me what a nice person I was, that I was kind, generous, open minded, accepting. So, I clung to that identity to define myself. It was not a lie by my parents, but I let it define me so much, that I would not allow myself to be angry, let alone show it to people (aside from my parents). My anger built up as undefined frustration in my teens. Sometimes I’d feel so mad and angry for no reason at all. I’d trash my room, pound my fists on the wall n the privacy of my room. When my mom found out had these fits of rage, she had the doctor prescribe me something homeopathic to help me calm down again.

It took a long while of therapy for me to understand how I was still trying to be the living example of an “angel” and dissociated from my what caused anger or upsetness. I needed to learn that being upset and angry over maltreatment is absolutely normal and necessary… that it’s not abornmal or something that needs to be medicated or diagnozed as wrong. It’s the reason why I avoid using pathological definitions on feelings or behaviour of myself.

My milestone in that therapy came when I looked in the mirror and told myself that “Yes, I am a good person, but I am allowed to be a bitch as well if circumstances warrant it.” I told myself this over and over… I actually felt a change in myself, as if some weight was lifted from my shoulder. That’s when I announced my therapist and the group I felt I was ready to continue by myself.

Louise

Truthspeak:

You are probably right as I really don’t want to accept what he did to me. I don’t want to accept that it was never real and that turns into anger. I am working hard on this.

Louise

skylar:

Good point! Imagine that…I never saw my parents as controlling, but now that you pointed it out, they were! My dad wasn’t controlling of me, but he was controlling of my mother (controlled the finances) and my mother was controlling of me! That WAS extremely controlling of her to never allow me to go anywhere…wow, I just never saw it that way. What a revelation. And to clarify, there was no reason for her to not allow me to go anywhere, ie, because I got in trouble, etc. I was never in trouble. I saw her overprotection of me as love…wanting to protect me from all the bad in the world. And I do think that IS true…that was her motive, BUT…it was STILL control! Hmmmm, very interesting.

I think you were spot on with the Alpha male thing.

Louise

skylar:

I AM ashamed! Definitely and I am not “ashamed” to admit I feel shame. I think I feel the shame just like a drug addict feels shame…I am addicted to something (a person) and it’s shameful. I hate it. Then the shame does turn to anger.

Louise

G1S:

Thank you very much for your post. It was extremely comforting.

Louise

Star:

Thank you for your suggestion on Tolle. I will check it out. I hope you are doing well.

Louise

G1S:

“The Secret” turned me off for the exact same reason. Yeah right…I just “think” it and it becomes mine…right! I wish. And then you are right…if you do this and don’t get whatever it is you wished for, what must be wrong with me??? Sigh. Nope, I don’t think that’s the way the world works.

Louise

darwinsmom:

Wow, thanks for your post! I really do think that is part of my problem. At least I have been able to identify this one piece of the puzzle, yeah? I actually identified this years ago how I tried to be the “good” one. It has followed me all these years, but I am beginning to think like you that yes, it’s OK to be a good person, but to also be a “bitch” when it is necessary!

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