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By | April 16, 2010 354 Comments

Profiler says letters show Casey Anthony to be a psychopath

Casey Anthony is in jail in Orlando, Florida, accused of killing her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee Anthony. Recently, letters that Casey Anthony wrote to another woman in prison have surfaced. Interviewed on the Today Show, criminal profiler Pat Brown said the letters show that Anthony is a psychopath. Brown called the letters “a wonderful window into how a psychopath thinks.”

Watch the Today Show interview video.

Read Do letters show Casey Anthony is a ‘psychopath’? on the Today Show website.

Links submitted by a Lovefraud reader.


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pb

Wow! Incredible. Disturbed doesn’t even come close to describing this woman.

bulletproof

I would agree with Pat Brown the profiler, what a breath of fresh air. I would also value the death penalty over entertaining a psychopath in prison to further manipulate and experience fun and games….

Ox Drover

WHAT A SUPRISE to those of here at LF! NOT!!! I actually think that those of us here at LF at the time this happened were not at all suprised, and if we saw the TV show about her lying to the cops and so on, we sure didn’t think she was anything except a psychopath!

That said though, after having been a life time advocate FOR the death penalty, I have changed my mind about it due to the fact I don’t trust our “criminal justice” system (boy, is that an oxymoron!) and on the OFF chance that anyone would be put to death wrongly, I would rather see them in prison.

While I have no doubt that my P-son deserves the death penalty and there is NO doubt he is guilty, and in his case I would NOT object to him being put to death, for those few people who are innocent and convicted, I would rather house 100 or 1000 psychopaths WITH LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE in hard time maximum security, no frills, prisons. At least there is a chance the innocent may go free, if they are alive.

But I hope that Ms. Anthony does get to spend the rest of her life, however long that is, in prison without any frills.

teacher123

pb,
Disturbing is exactly what this is. I can’t imagine what I would be going through if one of my children were to be missing, but I can tell you I wouldn’t be partying, exposing myself, desecrating America, and kissing men all for fun. I would be like a blood hound looking 25 hours a day with way more interest than anyone else. Who doesn’t report their child missing for more than a month? Someone who knows she is already dead because she killed her daughter herself. That would be a good reason to drink. But what may be equally disturbing here is her endless view that she is the center of the universe. She thinks she is famous because a few other psychopaths write her letters in jail? Even the supposed friend she exchanged letters with beacame soured, why? She realized that Casey has no interest in anything really besides herself. She admitted that she dosed her child with chloroform so she could party. Who in the hell does that? Here is another example from my experience- one of our most experienced and best loved teachers at our school lost her husband to cancer, and then found that she also had lung cancer. She had to miss a whole year while recovering. So anyway, several of us teachers came to visit her. How about one of us in our group totally hogging the conversation which was about herself and the fact that how she is working in the summer would help her resume. The woman who was supposed to be helped by the visit was ignored because this person had to be the center of the conversation as always. Pathetic. These people have no clue that anyone else exists in the world. I think I posted this before, but it is a good one. Someone once said about a narcissist is this, “they think they are the piece of shit the world revolves around”.

hens

There are two cases’ in oklahoma where two little girls where abused and killed my their step fathers. Both were under child welfare services..The same case worker placed these little girls under the care of these murderers despite the pleas from the other parent and their familys. i personally knew one of the step fathers, as I worked with him years ago in the landscaping business and i knew then he was as dangerous as a rattlesnake. He had even been in prison for attempted murder before this…….I am with Oxy I dont trust our child welfare system…or our criminal just system. sad world

pb

bullet…I agree – there’s no money to be made in attempts at treatment; they can’t be fixed, so the medical machine isn’t interested. And there are huge amounts of money lost to locking them up. Seeing as they’re soul-less bastards, they’ll make their own fun out of any situation – including prison.
They’re a complete waste of air, space, and money to say the least.

bulletproof

OxDrover

Interesting point you say :

‘I would rather house 100 or 1000 psychopaths WITH LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE in hard time maximum security, no frills, prisons. At least there is a chance the innocent may go free, if they are alive.’

I wonder what they would be like housed together. Do they recognise eachother as psychopaths -what do they think of eachother?

add some research, study observation, strictly by professional psychopath “experts” so we could learn from them, how they operate amongst their own kind, dynamics studies, experiments- in fact anything that could enlighten us and protect innocent human beings and animals

I am blown away by what you say about your own son, further confirming in my mind the suffering you have gone through with this child. You above anyone then knows how futile it is to set them free after doing their time.

pb
I would pull the lever myself, with conscience- sending soul-less bastards back, and God can deal with them. Surely we are not meant to sit around ignoring them, avoiding them- there will come a time when they could be everywhere. Then what? If I am horribly wrong then tell me how?

learning

pb –

With regard to CERTAIN types –

Ignoring them/avoiding them = no supply for them. Supply and Demand. Eventually there WILL be more educated and aware souls outnumbering them!!! They will still exist – but they wont be able to do what they do.

Then what??

Ox Drover

My son spends his time in prison Manipulating and conning both other inmates and guards. He brags in his letters about how he enjoyed getting away with a con (smuggling in porno on DVDS) for a long time and he KNEW he would “eventually get caught” and he says (writing to the Trojan Horse Psychopath) “I knew I would get caught eventually, but I enjoyed it while it lasted and boy did it tic them off!” He went on to say “I CAN follow the rules, but it is so much fun not to.”

Even when being caught means that he suffers losses of a great many of his priviledges for years afterwards, a transfer of prisons (most despised by prisoners) kicked out of craft shop, solitary confinement, and loss of his “trusty level” and FOREVER loss of a PLUM job with computers which he enjoyed. He still felt like he had WON!

Being able to brag to other inmates about how he succeeded in conning the “hacks” and the “cops” he succeeded. He got a big rush doing it, and a big rush even when he got caught, but it was all RISK TAKING which is a big positive for them.

Just as a compulsive gambler gets a “high” win or lose money, IT IS THE HIGH THEY CRAVE Not the Prize.

No, they do not need to be let out, but with a rule of LAW our society cannot imprison people for “thoughts” but in order to protect society we need to determine when a person is “dangerous to society” and the THREE FELONIES, go to prison for life without parole, seems to me (my opinion) be the one that would catch out psychopaths that are violent or criminal. Keep them off the streets, but at the same time, as long as the other psychopaths do not do a crime worthy of imprisonment, there’s no way to lock them up.

With most of the violent criminal psychopaths in prison forever though, crime should decease and let the resources of the law be able to catch more of the other kinds.

Right now, jails are so full, and resources of law so constrained by RE_ARRESTING the same people over and over for petty crimes or for even felonies, that there really is no law enforcement with most crimes going undetected or unprosecuted. Plead out on smaller crimes.

I may not have the answers, I may not even know all the questions, but I do know that psychopaths should be prosecuted to the maximum extent of the law and incarcerated. EVEN public EXECUTIONS in hanging did not deter crime in places and times in which it was used frequently, such as England. The “criminals” who were deported to Australia and treated inhumanely on Norfolk Island and other penal colonies by SUB-HUMAN BARBARIC PSYCHOPATHIC WARDENS did not deter crime, even there.

Keeping psychopaths in prison (and also cutting down on the amount of children they sired by that) should help crime stats to go down though, it seems to me any way. But I’m not dictator and not likely to be elected dictator in the near future but at the next presidential election, you can “write me in” LOL ROTFLMAO

hens

Oxy – Obama 2012 ~!

ErinBrock

I say….FRY!!!

Twice Betrayed

I believe in the death penalty, have sat on juries death penalty challenged and would hand down the death sentence. However, you can hardly get a death sentence from most people, even though they are death challenged prior to being in a jury room. They scream they don’t want the blood ‘on their hands.’. However, they are not taking into consideration the fact NOT handing down the maximum sentence leaves the victim’s blood on their hands. You take an oath. Scripture supports the death penalty and to punish/protect our society we should hand it down.
The issue I have with this woman is her young age. I will also tell you that I have heard other younger females saying they ‘drug’ their kids with various sleeping/cold meds. Once when my X husband’s niece spent the night with us, right after I put her to bed, she called out to me and said I forgot to give her ‘sleeping ‘meds’ to her. I asked where they were????? In her bag, she said. I got the bag in sheer horror…..and asked her to get the ‘sleeping meds’. She pulled out a bottle of Nyquil. Apparently her mother doped her at night. [she was 6 years old] Needless to say, she slept that night without ‘meds’. Scary.

ErinBrock

WOW..TB…that is just WRONG!!!!

I don’t think casey Anthony’s apple fell too far from the tree.

Rosa

As my Grandfather used to say when he read newspaper articles about children being raped and killed …..”Fire up Old Sparky.” (aka Electric Chair)

hens

“I think capital punishment is ok as long as it’s not to severe” is what Edith told Archie Bunker.

BloggerT7165

Oxy,

I agree. With so many innocent people set free from death row and who knows how many innocent ones that were not it kinda makes it hard to support the death penalty except in cases where there is 100% no chance of error. And of course there is the cost involved. It has been said that it is cheaper to actually keep them locked up for life.

As someone who worked in a maximum security prison for almost a decade I find that a good number of people don’t know and don’t wan’t to know the realities of prison life. Some are only interested in what might best be called revenge/punishment.

Anyways just my 2 cents for what it is worth.

bulletproof

and what happens their spirit after death?

the P I knew was an Atheist. He explained to me one day as we discussed faith….he said no, we had a a kind of battery inside us of energy and when it was “used up” that’s it. energy stops. Over and out. Picture a very emotionless face, eating an apple.

He had not even a pinch of faith. As he is on earth so he is after earth you could call him then a ‘spiritual psychopath’ he had no desire for eternal life, he thought that was for idiots who couldnt face the end…and he was not afraid of dying.

awakenow

She is a sociopath – you can see it in her eyes from the first “pretend crying” video when she is talking with her parents. She looks up to see their reaction to her crying. She feeds off knowing how people respond to her drama. The sociopath I was unlucky enough to know was exactly the same – cry while looking down and then peek up to gage the response to see if it is having the desired outcome. These are the people who can shut it off in an instant when confronted also.

Rosa

Henry 🙂

Believe it or not, I still watch “All in the Family” sometimes…and “The Jeffersons” and “Three’s Company” and “Cheers” and “Friends”.

They just don’t make them like that anymore.

Everything is Reality TV these days, and it’s not even that “real”.
In fact, a lot of times it turns ugly, because people are showing TOO MUCH of their private lives for the sake of ratings (my opinion).
And it’s just too much information for prime time television.
But, like any train wreck, it’s hard to look away.

It just makes me sad because it seems like nothing is sacred anymore.
Pop culture in this country is in the toilet, as far as I am concerned.

Sorry for the rant…I went off on a tangent.

Stargazer

I have gone over this many times in my mind, but I just don’t see any constructive reason a narcissist or sociopath should be allowed to live. They cause nothing but destruction in others’ lives. Prison is not even a form of punishment or rehabilitation for them, as Oxy pointed out. If 75% of the prison population is comprised on non-sociopaths, then that means they are capable of introspection and remorse. Potentially, this 75% could be rehabilitated. But not if they are trapped with a bunch of sociopaths. Then their chances to be constructive members of society have been greatly reduced.

Have any of you seen the movie The Prophet? It shows what happened to an ordinary petty thief with a conscience once he goes to prison, and gets into cirumstances beyond his control. It’s an excellent movie, and I highly recommend it.

Buttons

Like I said, put them all on Sociopath Island and watch how they interact with one another! The idea that three thousand spaths are co-existing on one island with each one of them believing that they are the only inhabitant, and everyone else is a bug? Wow……it would be pandemonium, chaos, and complete anarchy.

Aeylah

The Anthony story has become another media and reality TV circus show….happening in my back yard, and from day one, her incredible sef centeredness was very apperant since the media ran wit it. She didn’t care where her child was, she went out and got a new dooo, new clothes and went out partying. She loved the attention of the media.

The scary thought is that REALITY TV SHOWS have become a favored way and tool for narcissists and sociopaths, were they can perform and “strutt their stuff” to a large audience who loves to get sucked into the drama.

… They dont care who they hurt in the process….Think of the balloon dad, and Kate plus Eight shows….

Scary to think that their tenicles can reach out beyond the prison walls so much

Buttons

Yah…….and, reality shows have not only provided a “Look at ME” platform, but they have also encouraged bad behavior. “Survivor” rewards those who are the most conniving, backstabbing, manipulative, and underhanded with cash, fame, and attention. What kind of message does that send out? “He who is the most devious wins.” I refuse (and, I mean refuse) to watch that kind of thing.

hens

hi Rosa I agree with you there is not much on tv worth watching these days.. I like The Medium and The Good Wife is good but talk about greed and narcissist- i watch alot of OETA cause I dont have cable or satelite. The local news at ten pm then niteline and Oprah if shes interesting then bed by midnite….

Ox Drover

I read the book written by Scot Petersen’s MIL about Scot, and she started to “get it” about the behavior after the murder, and before he was arrested but not the “P-word”

I had that sob pegged from the get go as having killed her because he couldn’t even FAKE grief well. Ditto with Casey. When the PROOFS she was lying about such basic things as WHERE SHE WORKED where she left the child and with whom, etc. it was like DING DING DING, who believes this woman doesn’t know where the baby is.

In january there was another case almost like that, saw it on the news and Nancy Grace when I was in Texas, a mother had said she would kill her little boy which she had for a visit just after or about CVhristmas then she started running, andn then they caught her, baby no where to be seen, but she swore she had given the baby to come couple to adopt it to keep the father (who had custody) from getting the baby. I never found out what the outcome of that was, or if they found the baby or the body. Can’t remember the names of the people so can’t even google it. Anyone remember that one?

It was like Casey Anthony Story Chapter II or the sequeal. LIE LIE LIE and when people lie like that when the truth would fit better and be more believeable it just SHOUTS PSYCHOPATH.

What Bob Hare said about them not “getting it” that their lies are NOT believeable because they can’t attach a real emotion to the words or thinkk some how that if they SAY something no one will CHECK up on it being true or not. Or they will LIE when the PHYSICAL EVIDENCE is there or even a video tape, like of Casey out shopping probably the day she killed the baby.

That tendency to be so STUPID in committing a crime (like Casey) or my P-son and then just lies to try to get people to SUSPEND REALITY. My son is in the 99.9th percentile in IQ but he DOES NOT GET IT that him saying something in spite of EVIDENCE to the contrary doesn’t make his lie believeable. How can someone SO FREAKING SMART be such a DUMB crook? I think it is because they have NO CONCEPT at all of emotions in normal people, and they have gotten away with lying (on smaller things) so many times that they think that ALL THEIR LIES will float no matter what the evidence is.

My personal opinion as well with the things I have read and seen on interviews with Scot Petersen’s mother and Casey’s mother is that those two BAD APPLES did not fall far from the MATERNAL TREES.

I would also be inclined to believe that Laci Petersen was emotionally abused by Scot when no one else was around, and probably physically as well, and she hid it from her family. I think she thought if she had a baby (even against Scot’s wishes) that it would “fix” the marriage. I am guessing here folks, but that seems to be the pattern. As arrogant as that SOB is, I can’t imagine him NOT abusing Laci, and typical pattern for a victim who is trying to fix a relationship, she would keep it secret. Her mother’s book was quite illuminating. Scot’s half sister gets it too about what he is.

The sense of entitlement in some psychopaths Is ‘oVER THE TOP” EVEN FOR PSYCHOPATHS and Scot Petersen and Casey Anthony are both I think over the top arrogant types, just as my P son is.

Stargazer

Oxy, did you ever read the story of Diane Downs, who shot her 3 kids and blamed it on a bushy-haired stranger? That was a classic. One died, and the other two were paralyzed for life. She wanted to kill them because the man she was in love with didn’t want kids. There were two pieces of evidence that gave away that she was lying:

1. She claimed she rushed to the hospital after the stranger shot her and her 3 kids. But eyewitness accounts had her driving at the pace of a snail. (She was hoping the two kids who were still alive would die on the way there).

2. This was the most convincing. She claimed the BSH (Bushy haired stranger) shot her in the arm. But the tourniquet she made for her arm was folded very neatly almost like origami in a way that would have had to have been done ahead of time. She obviously planned to shoot herself in the arm to make her crime look convincing.

She did all the same theatrics in court, smiling, etc. She even showed up to court pregnant by one of the prison guards. In her mind, she believed children were “fungible” or replaceable. Since hers were dead or taken from her, she would just have more.

Her own kids ended up testifying against her in court. I can’t even imagine how the horror these poor children went through. One can’t walk and is in a wheelchair. The other has the right half of her body paralyzed. And their sibling was dead.

I don’t remember if she got the death penalty for her crime, but I cannot imagine wasting one penny to keep her alive and breathing.

bulletproof

Buttons

Sociopath island….they would all be playing to the camera for pity! there would be oscar worthy emotional performances, charming animal magnetism, no embarrassment, fun and games and at least they would start off that way….all wanting to win! whats the difference?

as Robert Hercz says, and I quote:

“I said, ‘Here’s a scene that you can use,’ ” Hare says. ” ‘You’re walking down a street and there’s an accident. A car has hit a child in the crosswalk. A crowd of people gather round. You walk up, the child’s lying on the ground and there’s blood running all over the place. You get a little blood on your shoes and you look down and say, “Oh shit.” You look over at the child, kind of interested, but you’re not repelled or horrified. You’re just interested. Then you look at the mother, and you’re really fascinated by the mother, who’s emoting, crying out, doing all these different things. After a few minutes you turn away and go back to your house. You go into the bathroom and practice mimicking the facial expressions of the mother.’ ” He then pauses and says, “That’s the psychopath: somebody who doesn’t understand what’s going on emotionally, but understands that something important has happened.”

Stargazer

We are the ones who deserve to be on an island. A beautiful tropical island. They can have the inner city.

ErinBrock

Star:
Did ya see my post the other day taht sent me on CLOUD NINE?
Spath was transporting 9lbs of pot to your area and got busted in the state up on 80!!!
Looks like he’s facing 15 years in prison!!

Ox Drover

Dear Star,

In many cases they HAVE TAKEN OVER THE INNER CITY! As well as the capitol, the legislature and big business! They cross all cultural lines, all racial lines, and all ethnic lines! Welcome to the world!

Yea, Diane Downs is right there with Susan Smith! Scot Petersen and a few more I could name! Super max prison cells for life without parole. inside the cell 23 out of 24 hours a day, and nothing to entertain them except counting their own fingers and toes. Personally I think that’s worse than the death penalty. A psychopath witout an AUDIENCE to appreciate how smart and great they are! UTMOST TORTURE! Better than waterboarding!

Ox Drover

EB!!!!! Maybe you can call the DA and add some “character witness” stuff to the P’s case! LOL I bet you would make a great character witness for him! ROTFLMAO

Stargazer

Really, EB???? TOWANDA!!!! So I don’t need to worry about running into him? ha ha ha

Stargazer

So that means you’re safe if you ever want to come to Denver, right?

Ox Drover

ps EB: If he gets 15 he will probably come up for parole in 5 or so years, you might want to get on the notification list for his release and so on (google V.I.N.E. and you can register on line) and then when he is coming upo for parole you can write to or maybe even APPEAR at the parole hearing and speak about his parole maybe being NOT GRANTED. But you will have a chance to keep him in longer. Also, you might really want to contact the DA now to let them know, or the detectives etc., whoever will listen to you, to tell them what you know about him so maybe they won’t let him plead out on the case to a lesser charge.

Don’t count on the law to give him the max!

ErinBrock

Yes Ma’am!

I’m contemplating flying in with my GF to attend the trial….or at least the sentencing!

He’ll be about 2 hours from you…..on that little stretch between you and nowhere in that ‘other’ state above ya……

Currently he’s out on bail…trial should be in Oct. I’ll find out more manana.

ErinBrock

Oxy….yeah….I’m thinking maybe a year or two….IF.

My ‘people’ have sent all the info to the investigator….which would block a plea deal….I provided all info they could need….
Remember that farm he took the kids too……FUNNY how this trip keeps coming up! 🙂

Ox Drover

Good girl EB,

Oh, BTW, thanks for BOINKING! DONNA, she really did deserve that clout on the head! Actually, In my opinion that’s the first one she has earned since I have been here at LF, but she did earn that one! LOL Humility is over rated! LOL ROTFLMAO

Well, guys it’s supper time and time for 20/20 and I’ll see if they ahve a good show on tonight! See ya later.

hens

star did you or anyone see oprah the day Richard Branson was on, that zillion aire, did you see his island retreat? wowzer~!

Stargazer

No, I need to start watching TV again. I don’t even own one. It is my dream if I ever get rich to buy an island in the Caribbean and have Johnny Depp as my cabana boy. Why should the sociopaths have all the fun on an island?

ErinBrock

Hens~I did…..yes….totally wowzer!!

hens

oh star is a big dreamer like me wink wink

Ox Drover

You know guys, I think I spent too much of my life waiting for “this or that” to happen etc and I wasted so much time until I could “move to this perfect place” or get this “perfect job” or whatever! I Had to learn to bloom where I am!

Or kept hoping that a move or a job or a man or something else would make me happy! Every time I was actually happy, though, it was when I was not waiting for my “ship to come in” but ROWING THE BOAT I HAD!

A vacation to Costa Rica or any other place that would be nice would be a nice break from reality (which sometimes can be pretty grim) but at the same time, I think our reality is where we need to BLOOM! Heck, we can BLOOM ANY where we want to! ‘Cause the bloom comes from inside of us!!!!!

Buttons

OxD, what an uplifting view! Your posts really give me comfort and encouragement. Thanks so much.

Stargazer

You bring up a good point, Oxy. I still want to row my boat to Costa Rica, though!

Ox Drover

Dear Star,

“Whatever floats your boat!” LOL

Buttons, thank you very much! Glad you were uplifted by my prattles! I’ve just wasted too much time thinking “Oh, I’ll be happy when X happens” or “Ill be happy if I can get X” and I think it is that I’m always WAITING for the BlueBird of happiness to crap on my head instead of just BEING happy NOW! Letting my “happiness” depend on my P-son getting his act together or some other UNREACHABLE GOAL to happen.

I know I harp on this book all the time, but Dr. Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” which he wrote about how he felt from being in the Nazi prison camps for years and losing everything he owned and everyone he loved—and he still found MEANING FROM HIS EXPERIENCES THERE.

I love this farm where I live, it was my grandparents farm and I wanted to live here for so many years before we were able to move here, but I realize now that my happiness doesn’t depend on WHERE I live, or WHAT I have or even WHO loves me or doesn’t. My happiness depends on ME. It took having to leave here, thinking at the time I left, that I would never be able to come back here again, and I grieved over losing my “home”–but once I did that, I realized that STUFF, even “important” STUFF is not what makes us happy or not. If we depend on getting things we “want” to make us happy, our happiness is always dependent on STUFF–whatever that STUFF is. I don’t want to have to leave here, but if I do have to, I am resigned to do that and STILL be happy (and that could happen)

I think about some older folks that when they lose their independence and must go live in assisted living or in a nursing home (which can be kind of grim) but they become so UNhappy, so miserable that what time they do have left is spent grieving over what they have LOST, not enjoying what they DO HAVE.

As I get older and more “infirm” and am no longer able to do the heavy outside activities I used to enjoy so much, sometimes I get a bit down about having to give up these formerly pleasurable activities, but that’s just part of the natural slowing down of aging. I am still very much blessed with pretty doggone good health for an old bat my age, and no major or chronic illnesses, so I’ll enjoy the things I CAN still do and quit whining to myself about those that I can no longer safely do. I’m even getting to where I don’t feel guilty about asking my son to do some of the things I used to enjoy doing for myself.

Stargazer

Oxy, you bring up such a good point that happiness comes from within, and you can be happy in any circumstances. You do not need to travel to have excitement in your life. And sometimes people travel to run away from their problems, only to have their problems follow them to the travel destination. I have been there. However, I also find that the distraction of new people, places, and scenery can break habitual thought patterns in the mind that keep us stuck. This can give us a new perspective on things and a refreshed positive attitude. It has gone both ways for me. So far, just planning the trip to Costa Rica has been both exciting and very stressful. I really like having something to look forward to and plan. I feel if I put enough energy into it, I could possibly move there, which would eliminate some of my day-to-day problems here, like the office job that I’ve never liked. Not that it would eradicate all my inner demons.

The one positive thing my parents gave to me is a love for travel. We took long road trips when I was young and moved frequently, with two of the moves being out of state, and one across the country. For all my parents’ f’d up reasons for needing to constantly move, I acquired a thirst for adventure. I feel like something got released inside when I gave myself permission to just go, instead of constantly saving the money for some future time that may never even come.

Stargazer

On these lines…..I lived in Europe when I was 20. I went to school in Scotland and then traveled around the continent, going as far as Greece, and living on the Greek islands for several months. I even worked there to pay my way. When I returned to the states, I found the fast pace of life and wastefulness of Americans to be very distasteful. I returned here very reluctantly with the vow to myself that if I ever had an opportunity to live permanently abroad, I would take it.

That was 29 years ago. Since then, I’ve had many valuable lessons living here in the states. I’ve learned how to hold a job for many years, to own a home, and to be independent. These were valuable lessons. But I have always fantasized of getting off the treadmill having a more simple life. I think of this more as I get older, and it seems a place like Costa Rica or South America still offers many opportunities to live simply. This is what I want. If I never knew it existed, I wouldn’t have known the difference. I never realized the effect that living on that Greek island–sleeping on a mattress on the floor, eating fresh olives and feta cheese for breakfast, and walking 3 miles to the swim cove every day–would have on me. It’s become a part of my dream. I think everyone needs a dream.

teacher123

Here is another link to a convincing liar. You guys may have posted something on this story when it broke- IDK. Anyway Dalia Dippolito should have won an Oscar for this performance. As a newlywed she tried to kill her husband 3 times; once with slipping anti-freeze into his coffee. When she arranged another hit on her husband, this time it was an undercover cop. The cops played it like he was dead. You should see her wail. Actually here is the link.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/wife-hired-hit-man-husband-police/story?id=9110716
She denied this still even with videotaped evidence of the event, and the testimony of the undercover cop who she denied ever meeting. On the phone with her soon to be X husband from jail she still denies any involvement, trying to sweet talk him into thinking she was innocent. Fortunately he finally saw how evil and psycopathic this woman was taking her name off of everything they had owned together. He met her at a strip club I suppose where she was performing. Sorry if I posted this before. Memory is getting older with the rest of me. I guess they are happy if they get to tell other stories to other people, just as long as they can fool someone it doesn’t really matter. Somewhere in jail she has a girlfriend or lover who feels badly because her husband was such a jerk.

Ox Drover

Dear Star,

Far be it from me to step on someone else’s dream or fantasy, whether that dream or frantasy is “realistic” or not—my dream and fantasy was that my P son would get out of prison, come home, go to college, get a job that he enjoyed and we would “live happily ever after” one big happy family. I would be so happy then because I wouldn’t have to worry about what was happening to him inside the “big boys prison.” I thought my dream and fantasy appeared to be achievable and reasonable. So I worked hard at it.

There was a time whjen I would have enjoyed sleeping on a mattress on the floor, eating fresh olives and feta cheese for breakfast and walking miles to swim, I did live in a tent in the African bush and cooked over a camp fire, and shook my boots out each morning in case a scorpion had crawled in during the night, and I loved it. Wouldn’t want to live that way again though–could if I had to, but the allure that life style had for me when I was 18-19 isn’t so much any more.

But I have the MEMORY OF IT and can take it out and enjoy it any time I like. Memory of youthful adventures is a wonderful thing I think. They can be used to soften the daily grind when we are doing a job we don’t particularly like to pay the rent. We can float off to those long ago places in memory, to make some day to day responsibilities we don’t particularly enjoy more bearable.

As far as “saving money for emergencies that never happen” I look at it like a “fire extinguisher” that is there in CASE, but you are glad you don’t have to use it. I definitely want an “emergency cushion” of money and it gives me security so that if my car dies, I break a leg, or any number of things that could happen, I can at least pay my bills a few months without having to worry that if I’m laid up in the hospital three months and can’t pay the rent, that the land lord won’t put my stuff out on the curb. Just a little “safety net”—in my case, actually, if things turn out badly and my P son gets out, it is my safety net to find another place to live rather than walk off this farm without the price of a motel room for the night. Maybe that’s foolish, cause I can sure think of a lot of things I coulde do with that money I keep on hoarding—like go back to Africa and see my elderly friends before they pass away, but as much as I would love and enjoy a trip like that, I wouldn’t feel secure in spending down my “emergency” fund.

My son C has no problem spending down his “emergency” fund, and that’s his right to do so. He earned the money and saved it while living here at my house. The only reason I asked him to leave was he lied to me about spending it. So now that he is paying rent, utilities, phone, etc. that he didn’t have to pay here, he won’t be able to save another “emergency” fund, but that’s his problem, not mine. When the time comes though that the emergency happens and he says “Mom, you were right, I should have saved that money because now my car broke down and I don’t have a down payment for another one….” There will not be a loan forthcoming from me or a co-signature on a loan. Not that I think he wouldn’t repay me (he would) but the thing is that when he had the chance to help himself (with my assistance) he chose rather to spend his “emergency money” on computers and other toys, and knowing I would have something to say about him breakikng the agreement we had that as long as he lived here he save 1/3 of his pay check for an emergency fund, he LIED. I don’t “DO” lies and I don’t tolerate them, so leaving here is the consequence of the lie. No more financial assistance is the consequence of him not using what I think (and he agreed to) is good judgment about allocation of money on savings and necessities first, then toys.

Financial planners suggest that a person or a family have at least 6 months living expenses in savings to be “safe” and I think this is a reasonable amount of money for emergencies.

There were many times when my “emergency savings” were $1.37 or LESS. LOL Or when buying a new tire for my car wiped out all the “emergency” savings!

Yes, Star, dreams are good, unless we depend on them to make us happy, I think! Goals and dreams can be “real” or they can be “fantasy” but I don’t think we need to depend on them making our lives complete. If we do, and they never come true, then what? We stay unhappy and disappointed forever? I “depended” on my P-XBF to make me happy after my husband died. I put all my eggs into that one basket and truly believed he could make me happy—but that turned out to be a NIGHT MARE OF A DREAM! I think I will just keep depending on ME to keep me [email protected]!!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

oxy – okay, the feet are a bit better. how about the knees now…. 🙂

you are right, something ‘broke’ (part of it is the toxins coming down in my house) in the last couple of weeks. my ‘okay’ is much better. (but my dark days are darker…hmmm?)

bestest,
one step xx

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