By | October 19, 2012 70 Comments

Repost: Will you talk to the media about your experience with a sociopath?

All of a sudden, it seems like the media is interested in the subject of sociopathic relationships. I’ve received four inquiries from TV shows in the past week. Several producers are looking for individuals besides me to share their experiences. Are you willing to talk to the media?

If so, please complete the Lovefraud Media Survey.

Note: If you have already completed this survey, I still have your information so please don’t fill out another one. And, if you are still traumatized by your experience and talking to a reporter will upset you, please wait until you are recovered before filling out the survey. There will always be opportunities, and I want you to be comfortable discussing what happened to you.

The survey collects basic information such as your age and where you live. Reporters are usually looking for anecdotes from people who fit their publication’s or station’s audience and demographics. For example, a magazine that targets women aged 20 to 35 will want stories from women who are between the ages of 20 and 35. A newspaper in Ohio will want to include stories from Ohio.

Some publications want you to speak “on the record,” which means your name and location are published. In other cases, publications are willing to quote sources anonymously.

If you are willing to talk to the media, please fill out the survey. If I learn that a reporter wants to speak to someone like you, I’ll contact you first to see if you’re interested. Lovefraud will not give out your contact information without your permission.

Lovefraud Media Survey

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oh my, no thanks

Well, I would but nobody would believe it anyway…


I would if it was a magazine and would be anonymous. I would love to put this experience into words and educate other women about what to look for.


I am willing to speak to the media. I would require certain “conditions,” at present, but I’m quite willing to talk about my journey – especially HOW I was victimized in relation to my own personal issues.

Skylar, I believe you. Donna believes you. YOU believe you. IF someone else chooses not to believe you, that’s their option. But, your personal journey speaks volumes about spathy.

Louise, why just a magazine? There are ways to make one’s identity anonymous on camera and radio. 😉

I would also suggest that discussion of LEGAL issues be considered, Donna – how the legal systems fail society with regard to spathy.

Anyhow, I’m in.

Brightest blessings



You are right! 🙂


Louise, I think it’s an imperative that anyone considering contributing their experiences through the media should consult a legal attorney, first. Then, participation should be based upon EDUCATION and not an opportunity to “out” the spath(s), unless the spath(s) have faced legal, civil, or criminal consequences. The word, “alleged,” would have to become part of our vocabulary and naming names isn’t so important as discussing the actions and behaviors.

Speaking to the media should not, under any circumstances, be approached as an opportunity to “get even” with the spath(s). This could easily backfire and the whole message of educating the general public and creating changes within the legal and professional communities will be irreversibly damaged.

Just my 2 cents

Ox Drover

I think that “telling our stories” is important to each of us, that is why we are here, because we can tell our stories and we don’t have to be “identified.”

I can say here my X BF (without a name) I think burned down the house of his previous GF. She believes he did, I believe he did, there is evidence he did, but not enough to go to court or even call the law. So I can’t go on TV and accuse him (name names) or I am in deep doo doo.

With my son Patrick, I have a “foot locker” full of evidence including public records and witnesses and criminal records to back up every word I say about him…so there is NOTHING anyone can do about what I say. No way to sue me for slander or liable because it is true and documented.

I can even say my son is ASPD because the Texas medical records by the licensed medical person there said he is.

I can name the name of the Trojan horse psychopath and call him a pervert because he is a registered sex offender who raped 3 kids, ages 9,11, and 14…ain’t no judge or jury in my state going to do anything to me for calling him a “pervert.”

As for my DIL, she has a criminal record for buying the gun the TH-P was brandishing at the door as he tried to break in to shoot my son C, and I have a large collection of naked photographs of her doing “bondage” with the pervert in my egg donor’s house while her helpless paralyzed son lay unattended in her home and she was with the TH-P doing the “big nasty” in my egg donor’s house. So I don’t guess she is going to sue me either if I say any of those truthful things.

Do I WANT the world to know these things about my family? Well, at this point in time, I don’t care who knows what about me or my family. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of covering up some one else’s crimes. The crimes are NOT MINE and so I should not have to feel shame.

Sure, I wish that my biological sons were the kind of men I tried to raise them to be, but they aren’t. They are both now “middle aged men” (over 40) so they are about at the point you can say “what you see is what they are gonna be from here on out.”

I did some major changing after the age of 40 and I still hold out some hope for son C, but Patrick isn’t going to change and he needs to be in prison for the rest of his natural life. The reality is though, that he will probably be let out no matter what I do in a few years. Life no longer means LIFE as our prison cells fill up.

BUT you know as our prison cells have filled up and more psychopaths than ever are off the streets the crime rate is lower than it was 10, 15 or even 20 years ago because as we know, psychopaths commit about 70% of violent crimes. So locking them up DOES WORK!


OxD, my feeling is that each story is an individual horror story. They’re each different in names, length of duration, etc., but there are commonalities among each survivor. The “Red Flags,” the gaslighting, the bait and lure, withold/reward, manipulations, and outright criminal choices are all nearly identical.

Having said that, it comes down to the survivors of socipathic enganglements to educate the general public, pscyh professionals, and legal communities. We are the people who are recovering from the experiences, NOT the psychologists, psychiatrists, judges, attorneys, or social workers.

In fact, I’d be interested in a structured study that would reflect the percentage of psych and legal professionals who are survivors of sociopathic entanglements. I daresay that there would be scant few.


I’m in! 😀


Does anyone think the reason the for the current media interest is due to Lance Armstrong and the news breaking about the Boyscouts pedophile files?

They have been using the words “sociopathic genius” when referring to the boyscouts records and Armstrong is publicly called a sociopath in articles.

Just wondering if that’s maybe picking up the interest.


I’m so glad that there is growing media attention to sociopaths other than that they are serial killers. I posted my story and would love to tell it to the world, not anonymously either (but I don’t have any children with him or court cases pending and I’m not afraid of repercussions as long as I don’t use his name).

I’ve been posting links to various S/P/N sites on my FB wall, which is my way of helping to promote education about them. I wish I had the ability and/or know-how to do more….


I would tell my story, although I was in a different position than most of the victims, I still was preyed upon and brought to the brink of destruction. I allowed myself to suffer over 3 years of pain from a brutal, evil, lying, conning, cunning, spiteful, manipulative, belligerent, critical, sadistic, cruel, sabotaging, deceitful, belligerent, making jealous, envious, bitter, sneaky, selfish, hostile monster. The fact that he raped my soul and that I ended up robbed of my savings, my trust, my mind and heart…That he deliberately set me up to destroy my marriage for his entertainment.

I wouldnt share names but I would share locations…I would do this to share that when we are vulnerable, the “P” can smell you and will work/entertain himself until you are hooked and a spell is upon you.


One thing I do sometimes is post to comments sections of online articles with truthful information about sociopaths, from my experience (this often includes info about my run-in with CPS). You can tell by skimming the comments if it is a friendly venue for that or not, before posting.

Very often, nonetheless, disbelievers and trolls show up, to argue with me.

All I do is speak my truth, and usually I am very direct to say, “this information is not for everyone’s eyes and ears. If it is meant for you to get it, you will. Some people will not and cannot get it (yet?). And bless you if this has never happened to you (yet). I only hope to warn people that if this can happen to me, it can happen to anybody, so be aware of the red flags, and know in advance what you will do.”

I figure if even one person gets their eyes opened just a little, maybe I help, just a little.

Yes, it is very important to me and my healing to share my story. I have to feel that it means something, or I didn’t suffer for nothing, etc. I’m working hard to learn MY lessons, but it partly helps for validating witnesses to hear my story and be supportive, and it also helps to think that maybe through the sharing, someone else might be helped, someone who is silently suffering and needs some validation.

It’s a very hard thing to go through. I didn’t have the internet 20 years ago when I met my ex-spath (married to him 7 years, had 3 kids with him who are teenagers now). I felt like I was the only one going through what I was going through…. and the information I needed to “get” sociopathy was not showing up on my radar.

the best I could find was info on “verbal abuse” and “battered wives” but those helped, didn’t quite nail it for me.

I’m glad this information is getting out there more and more. Yes, if you put yourself out there you are likely to be attacked by the sociopaths and the people on the fence who don’t want their eyes opened. But you might help even just one person.

(I was not in a strong enough place for many years to be able to do this, by the way — still too raw. But now I am tough as nails and have my self back — if anything about my experience can help someone else, I’m happy to share).

I realize that people who don’t want to hear this, won’t. It’s not my job to make them listen. But some people will be ready — that is my intended audience.

Though I am dubious about magazine articles and would rather not put myself out there in that type of place. I’ve had bad experiences talking to reporters, where my words got skewed and didn’t really reflect what I meant.

In a New York minute. Any and all of them are open season. And, of course, I already am.

It has been very empowering and forcing myself to confront what happened has brought enormous healing both to me and to others in my family.

better now

I have recently been speaking to the media regarding my memoir about my own personal experience with a psychopath. I have been interviewed for radio using my pseudonym, have had an article on The Huffington Post under the same assumed name, and now have been approached by a news magazine for an on-screen interview from a major network, where they assure me they can protect my anonymity either by blurring the screen or by using a disguise. My ex is not yet in prison, although I certainly hope the information I gave to the IRS will help put him there. I am obviously scared, but I too have extensive documentation supporting my claims. Truth is absolutely the best defense against slander, libel, and defamation of character, and the burden of proof in these types of cases falls on the litigant, not the defendant. So theoretically, they can lie all they want, but if all they have is their falsehood-laden statements, without any concrete facts/proof they have no case. I also have a good attorney on retainer to help me with any difficulties. But sharing our stories is something I really believe we all need to do, to get the media interested, to educate others about the real, but well-camouflaged dangers. If we are all willing to speak about our experiences, perhaps this “hidden epidemic” will no longer be so hidden. My hope is that by telling our stories, perhaps some day, there will be fewer stories like ours to tell. I know the response to my Huff Post article has been mixed. Half sympathetic, half “the bitch deserved it.” Disappointing and hurtful, to be sure, but I believe a good illustration of how ignorant the general public is on this subject. I find myself more and more nervous the further I get into this, wondering why I ever opened up this can of worms, but my philosophy has always been that if I can help even one woman avoid going through what I’ve been through, than I did not suffer for nothing.


I’m in.. anonymously… Thanks… i’ve forewarned one victim of my ex while he was having dinner with her (over the phone i found her telephone number)… i don’t know if she ever took my warning … I am happy though I took this step.. Please include me in the survey…


It’s about time all this deceit comes to the forefront, I will come forward with my story, anonymously, I would answer questions by phone or email as I still get anxiety/ptsd attacks talking face to face with people regarding this subject. I am in my early 50’s if they want to talk to anyone in that age group. I feel very strongly about this and post articles on my social network sites!!! We need to bring this out in the open, if enough people see/hear all the “craziness” maybe JUST MAYBE more people will understand! This is the closest thing to a zombie attack we are really going to see!!! I wish everyone here strength in coming forward or just healing, we all deal with what we can in our time !!


im in too, i always wanted to tell them what i have been through, okay, anonymously, but still….


I’m SO glad that SOMEBODY is finally doing this! And, yes, I’d talk to the media. However, I don’t have any stories about losing millions or nearly being killed to tell. But, I can sure talk about the classic red flags, the deceit, the discard, how we are left feeling emotionally, financially and sexually raped, the lack of understanding (even from ourselves sometimes) and support from our family and friends, the grief we feel when we realize that the time we spent in the relationship/marriage was wasted years because nothing about it was real, and the healing process. I HOPE the media will include stories about the sociopath who uses “love” to control their partners with and the ones who take advantage of their partners on a smaller scale financially. The guys/gals are the ones that are the most difficult to detect (in my opinion). Too many compliments, and too much love and attention is NOT always a GOOD thing but these things certainly help the sociopath maintain our trust and devotion. It is NOT normal for a person to tell their partner how beautiful they are and how much they love them a dozen times a day for YEARS! It’s also difficult to “feel” loved by the next NORMAL partner who does not do these things because our brain has to de-program itself and learn to pay much more attention to actions than words. I can’t remember if I filled out a survey. If I did, it was probably during the time when I was still healing and my answers might not have been as accurate as they would be now. I think it takes a good while for us to heal enough emotionally to fully understand exactly what a sociopath is. I can smell one, now. LOL!


I would talk to the media if my name wasn’t used. My ex P committed suicide earlier this year and I wouldn’t want my daughters to see me interview about some of the stuff I went through. I am still having ptsd. Tried to date some guy recently and when he wanted to go for a drive in the country, I felt literally sick and had to make him take me home. Then I remember, my ex used to take me for a ride in the country and tell me he could kill me and no-one would find me (this was one of the times I had left him and he picked me up to go for a ride and talk). Don’t know if I will ever have a healthy relationship because of this stuffl


Cathyannjones, perhaps, it’s learning how to have a relationship with yourself, for now. I am sorry that suicide is a part of your story and those of your daughters, and I agree that now isn’t the time to talk about the things that you endured.

My interpretation of speaking with media is to enlighten people about the “Red Flags,” but to also enlighten people that strengths, vulnerabilities, and unresolved personal issues are what predators use to inflict damages.

Like I typed: I’m in. Who the exspath is and his sins and crimes aren’t at issue. Who I was and who I am, today, is.


Donna, sign me up!

I have already spoken to a group of 150 young college aged women.

When I told them I had been in a relationship with a psychopath about 20 of them laughed.

My goal in this life is to educate young women about “dangerous” types of men and especially the charismatic psychopath that proliferates our culture. I was in a psychopathic relationship for 17 years. I am there.


cathyannjones, the FIRST sociopath I was involved with also committed suicide. He was a very violent man and often told me how he could kill me and nobody would ever know. He was also abusive to me in every sense. I wanted to save him from himself, though! Tried for 15 years. I had no idea what I was dealing with at the time. I had a son with hi. and raised his son from a former marriage. He left me a horrible note when committed suicide telling me how it was all my fault, yadda, yadda. That was nearly 20 years ago I wasted the next 10 blaming myself for his death. And, like you, I wouldn’t want his sons to hear all the horrible details although they witnessed some of the things themselves. I firmly believe that my long time involvement with him helped put me in the state of vulnerability that led me to get involved with a love bombing sociopath who was NOT violent. I thought as long as a man didn’t hit me, call me bad names or drink that he was a GOOD man. Not hardly. The ex-sociopath that I’d like to share my story about is the one I got involved with AFTER the suicide of the first. And, yes, you WILL have a healthy relationship once you give yourself time to heal. Find yourself a good therapist and educate yourself. You WILL be happy someday and able to love again…just don’t share your story about your ex and the way he treated you with other men until you feel that you REALLY know them. A sociopath sees people like us the perfect vulnerable victim. Not ALL sociopaths are physically abusive…the love bomber will promise to make all of this all better for you but will hurt you in manner just as badly as the physically abusive one.


if we dont speak out who will? how will we ever make society aware of what this is doing to and the destruction of so many victims. i keep thinking that with all the damage this has done to my life there has to be some kind of reason or outcome that gives me back something about me i feel is lost forever. maybe thats having a voice. who else is going to tell the public about these soul snatchers other than the ones who have unfortunately been their targets. im in because for me it would give my life or whats left of it a reason why this happened and a way to heal.


Bellanomore, precisely. The only people who can “speak for victims” are former victims. Only people who have endured the exeriences can have ANY frame of reference within which to address the truths and facts.

I cannot speak for a victim of a mugging, because I have never experienced it. I can “imagine” how they might feel, but I have no personal frame of reference. So, the psych communities, law enforcement, legislators, and the Legal System cannot possibly “speak” for ME because most of those professionals have never experienced what I have.

Stanley Yelnats

I have tried to contact the show “Who The Bleep Did I Marry” off and on for about a year now. The one thing that I gained from my horrible ordeal with an incredibly sick and vicious woman is knowledge. I believe that it is my duty to share this with as many people as I can. To not do so would be mean that I miss my opportunity to shine the light on these people and how they operate. My gift in this is an understanding that I believe can only be gained through intimate involvement with the disordered. If I can share this in a way that does not put me in legal jeopardy, I will not think twice about it. Our only power lies in speaking out against these people, in truth.


I will make open my story


I already filled it out. I will absolutely tell my story because of all the “little” red flags that went up that I “blew off” as just odd. There were several that I have since read about. They all said sociopath. Although I highly suspected he was/is a sociopath, I still stayed hoping he wasn’t full blown. There is no such thing. I learned just how bad he was and always will be by finally reading Donna’s book. 10 signs you are dating a sociopath. The last time I had contact with him (which was 2 weeks ago) his mask was fully removed. He wanted me to be “friends with benefits” until his new girlfriend from Seattle could get a job here and get moved here. He had met her 2 months previously thru friends and she had to go back. We had been “together” for 4 years and he always said he didn’t want a girlfriend. What he meant was he didn’t want it to be me. He hooked me initially with all the tricks they use. Anyway, he thought it was perfectly OK to ask me to be essentially his unpaid private prostitute until she got back. He literally couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t go for it. His grandiose sense of self and sense of entitlement let him even think it was OK to ask me. It took 4 years for his mask to come completely off. 4 years of my life. IF SOMEONE HAD ONLY TOLD ME ABOUT THESE MONSTERS.


YES! My form submitted.

After initial, bewildering experience, I too, like many if not most victims, wanted to remain anonymous. After learning more…and seeing such heartbreaking devastation of lives, I feel I need to stand…

The sociopaths count on their cunning and crafty ways to select victims who would be “easy prey”; some ‘ppaths actually enlist legal support and law enforcement to help…knowing then the victim “won’t be believed” because their carefully orchestrated “slander campaign”!

still reeling

I have been mia for a long time. Hope everyone is doing ok. I tried to fill out the survey as I would be willing to speak to anyone about the socio and my experience. However, I am unable to consider entering my name, phone, etc. into the survey. Kind of surprised that would be requested due to the nature of the experiences many have endured. I would think anyone who really understood how sick these people would know not to even ask for personal info.
Take care everyone.


StillReeling, it’s good to “see” you, again.

Donna Andersen is the ONLY “administrator” of this site and thoroughly investigates any/all parties that contact her about doing interviews, etc. She’s a trained journalist, so your contact information will ONLY be provided to legitimate entities and ONLY after she has contacted you for permission to forward the contact info to the agent. I swear, this is truthful.

Brightest blessings


I know about the slander/smear campaign also. I tried to warn the new girlfriend who is uprooting her life and very good job with microsoft thru his friends but, they just think I am a stalker and a jilted lover. She has been with him long enough to be totally “smitten” so she is already lost unless she does some research. I tried. I won’t try anymore.


I fell in with a group of pedophiles run by a homosexual sociopath followed by a lawsuit/conviction against them for a couple hundred thousand dollars. The lawsuit was related to their inherent deficits of character spilling over into their business lives. They used their “friends” as dupes in a bank fraud/development scheme. And they’re still going. Do you think someone would believe that? Don’t you think my story would get me sued for liable?

Quantum Solace

I would absolutely talk to the media and have, in fact, already filled out the survey. Unlike many here who fear repercussion for exposing the monsters, I have no such problem. My home state — in its infinite wisdom — has disallowed the right of an individual to seek redress for attacks on their character as a result of a divorce action. In fact, they consider such abusive behavior to be a “normal” part of a divorce.

As a result, the psycho I was married to has trashed me, destroyed my character, dragged me thru the mud till there was nothing left of me. He has lied on the record, off the record, in court, in public, on papers, in writing, verbally, to friends, to enemies, to family, to the children, to employers & to anyone who would listen. Thrashing me has become a hobby and art form for this sick bastard. His lawyers have lied for him, covered his lies and carefully crafted them. They have even made entire motions to none other than the State Supreme Court based on blatant lies. He has been caught by judges & lawyers lying to them, his lawyers have been caught lying for him, they have all been exposed and nothing ever happens! The courts simply look the other away and/or aid and abet this disease. So, I have absolutely no fear of retribution, after all, he’s done everything he possibly could and then some without any consequences. In my case, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. I have no problems exposing him for the sick, twisted monster that he is because the law can’t touch me! Besides, there’s nothing anyone can do to me that this psychopath hasn’t done already.


I completed the survey. I did an online radio interview and was asked to do a film documentary (I said in here I just didn’t like the way the ‘producer’ did business and every sense of my being told me to stay away from him; so I cancelled the day before we were suppose to film).

I worry some spaths could use the opportunity to gain easy supply from people who have already been victimized. By making themselves out to be important media people it is easy for the strongest of people to fall for promises of getting their story heard nationally and internationally. So I would be prudent if asked to do an interview for any medium.

I’m getting more succinct in being able to share my story in less words than before. This is what I wrote for the survey:

My father was a diagnosed psychopath and spent most of his life in and out of prison for fraud, robbery, and rape.

My mother was an undiagnosed sociopath…a psychiatrist who analyzed my book, Evil Eyes, A Daughter’s Memoir, believes my mother was also a psychopath. I just thought she was malignantly narcissistic…which is bad enough. My mother destroyed my emotional well being even long after she died. She ruined my reputation and bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen to her. I was amazed how many people would listen to a mother speak so cruelly about her own child.

I suffered at the hands of my stepfather when he sexually abused me ages 12-14. When I finally told my mother when I was 17, she threw ME out of the house.

My mother was cruel to me from the beginning of my memories. She had no heart, no compassion, no maternal instincts to speak about. I only learned about love when I gave birth to my own child, my son named Trevor.

I eventually realized my mother was as cold as ice and would never change (could never change). I kept trying for years to gain her love, all for nothing.

So I wrote my memoir after my parents died (they both scared the crap out of me) and have had many emails from people who say I helped them recognize the relationships in their lives were sociopathic. That is the best feeling I can imagine is one of helping others understand the dynamics and methodologies of a sociopath. Knowledge is power.

Many survivors, myself included, need as much empowerment as they can get. Most of us have literally had the life sucked out of us.


I am very leery about people these days. I seem to be able to spot disaster before I actually get drawn into their web of deceit. I am also stronger in the sense that I can share (outloud) my boundaries. Each time I pass another test I give myself a pat on the back.


I would be willing absolutely. I think communicating as articulately, unemotionally, & honestly as possible is the only way we can take the stigma away from the victims. We don’t deserve to have the black eye we take from this crime. Any where you look I look like a loser. I was in court yesterday & the judge did indeed take the kids & allow them to live with my ex-husband full time because she didn’t want my kids to have live like “that.” I am in a live/workspace by the sea that is very much like living in a loft in NYC. I told her in open court that she was penalizing me for being poor & the person in the wrong was the deadbeat father who never paid me a dime of support. So I can’t wait to talk to the media. it is a terrible experience to have a court of law twice not believe you & penalize you for having been through this experience. i have lost everything in my life now. There are more pieces than ever to try & pick up. I am now once again demoralized down to ashes & have to figure out how to get up & go another day all over again. I am sick of being punished when I am not the one that has done anything wrong. The sooner the better. Maybe this is my new calling. It would be healing & productive & more meaningful than anything I have ever done before. It is not easy to be a woman, a minority or a victim in this old boy waspy country we live in. Lil



I am so sorry to hear you have been revictimized by the family courts to one of the worst degrees.

I say “NAME NAMES” and when you go public let it be known that while you were suffering through legal abuse you were again abused by losing your children to the original abuser!!

I am stuck in family court. I currently have some quiet. I raised my daughter alone for over a decade and was an absolute great parent and roll model for her until I was served by the bio hazard father from his prison cell. It became a war! I have lost almost everything! I am NOT the woman I was 3 and a half years prior. The legal abuse started 4/09. My state of mind is a “secret”. I hope to heal with nobody knowing in the system the actual state they have left me in for fear of an outcome like yours.

I am so sick of being afraid of something I did not do! I have done nothing wrong. I broke no law but I have lost my business and am hanging on to my home by a thread. When this started, I had perfect credit, not so much as a traffic ticket and owned my business for 22 years! There is so much evidence the father is abusive and a criminal that it blows my mind and most can’t believe what I am telling is happening to me through the courts with him having all this power.

The systems intent is to wear the mother down and run her out of money and then call her unfit or make her so desperate she makes the mistake of running with her children in an attempt to make the abuse stop and they arrest her and give the child/ren to the abuser and slap her with a child support order.

If they took my daughter, I would be everywhere with my hand up and shouting “I AM TELLING”. The children of our future need us to tell.

I am so sorry you have been brutalized by the courts!


I am in. It is a semi-successful lawyer. I do not care if someone figures our who he is but because of my children I would not use his name. I recently took my first public action about him by filing a police report to protect my grandchildren. I was too afraid until then. I was afraid he would take away my children…and he eventually did. He threw my son back when he was finished with him but he targeted my daughter and grandchildren after his third divorce and still stalks my them. I want to help other people from living in the hell I have been in for 45 years and will probably continue to be in until the day I die because I was the victim of a psychopath.


Absolutely no reality TV crap though!!!!!!!! I would not speak out in the Dr. Phil, Oprah or any demeaning media format!!!!!


Your stories break my heart. I send my love to all survivors of these evil entities. It is so true that no one believes us and we, the victims are blamed. The injustice is heart wrenching in our families, friendships and the courts. Society at large does not want to acknowledge the existence of these social predictors. While our prisons may be filling up with the most criminal and violent of them, it seems there are more and more of the sneaky slimy evil snakes in positions of power. Positions of power attract them like malignant magnets and enable them to protect themselves and others like them. I used to be afraid for we targets, now the whole of society is their target.


The more victims that speak to the media, the more awareness is raised about this long history of victimization by sociopaths in ours and others lives. I filled out the survey until it asked for my story and now have to go back later because my “story” is so long and went on for over 20 years with my ex-husband, who when very close to the end of our marraige said to me, “I get a rush out of getting away with things and have since I was a kid.” WELL, that about summed everything my intuition had been telling me for our entire relationship. It was finally put into actual words, very enlighteningly by the sociopath himself. I often wonder why the subject of sociopaths is not “out there” more.


I’m more than ready. I’ll use my name but will not use his name. The more info gets out, the better we will all be and all those that follow us in this crazy path.


I would be happy to do the survey & tell my story.

Ox Drover


I like your site very much, but I would ask you to remove the writings of Sam Vaknin from your recommended books to purchase. There are most of his writings on the net to read for free, and I would NOT like that vicious predator to receive a single dollar for his writings. IF someone wants his books, they may be available used, but I would only purchase one that way so it would not give him any more money. He lives by touting his “insider information” books.

That man is EVIL!

Good job on your site and good books recommended otherwise. I have read them all. I would suggest that you go to the Book review section of Donna’s LF and look at adding some more of those books to your suggestions as well, and also Donna’s “RED FLAGS” book as well and Dr. Liane Leedom’s books.

Glad you are here (sorry you had to educate yourself in order to BE here) but really am glad to have a MALE BLOGGER here as so many of us are female and I think there is some great benefit to having the men here.

When I started blogging on LF in 2007 LF was 99.9% (I just made that statistic up) female and 99.9% ex-lovers/ex-spouses of psychopaths (I just made that number up too, but you get the idea) and I come on and not only do I have an ex BF who is a P, I also have a sperm donor (father) Uncle, grandmother (that I never met) great grandfather, and a son who are all psychopaths.

Since those days, there are more and more people here whose run in with psychopaths is not just A MALE LOVER/SPOUSE, but also people who are deal with and have parents, sibs, children, adult children, friends, relatives, in-laws and out laws who are psychopaths or at least very high in P traits.

Now, we are having a more diverse type of psychopathic relationship group as well as both straight and gay, male and female.

The TWO things about love fraud that are 99.9% CONSTANT is that the people here are respectful and smart! We are NOT alone.


Would I tell my story? Hmmm. It was such an avalanche of drama that I can not recall a logical order of events. It’s just a jumbled nightmare in my mind.

A friend of mine told me that that is normal… too much to process.

Ox Drover

Speaking up,

I had forgotten that you were the one who wrote that book….there are so many stories here that is is difficult sometimes to recall the details of them all, especially with the short term memory problems I have from te PTSD…DUH!!!!

You know there are those who will NOT ever believe us and those who will…and those who will believe and not care, but the hardest thing for me to grasp and put into practice was WE CAN VALIDATE OURSELVES. We don’t have to have someone else validate us for us to be RIGHT for it to be a FACT, for it to be TRUE. Right is right, fact is fact, true is true. Period.

Like you, I didn’t “tell” about the rape for several years and when I did tell my egg donor she didn’t believe me, still doesn’t as far as I know, but I think she wouldn’t care if she did admit it was true. She wouldn’t believe HIM if he said the sky was UP, but yet, she believes him when he says I am lying about the rape. DUH???? What is wrong with this picture?

I no longer care whether she believes me or not, what happened happened. I don’t need her beliefs, or any comfort from her.


I have told my story over and over and over and over and over again. If I tell it one more time Ox will get her skillet out..beside’s I am trying to forget..CRS and PTSD helps with that..
spath who? he did? oh my.


I would tell my story so more people would know what I didn’t know at that time.


whats most important is what we know now that we didnt know then. unless someone has personally been ran over by a sociopath it doesnt do much good to tell them, they just look at ya like your crazy…my 2 cents.

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