Restraining order doesn’t protect woman from murder

Mary Daniels finally found the courage to leave her husband, Christopher Colletta. But she was afraid of him; he was violent. She got a restraining order.

It didn’t work. On August 3, 2010, he waited on the top deck of the Mercy Hospital St. Louis parking garage for her to finish work. When Daniels got to her car, he stabbed her 18 times. Tonight, a jury found him guilty of first degree murder. Read:

Man found guilty of killing wife at Creve Cour hospital on StlTodaycom.

Family of slain Hillsboro woman wants to help other domestic violence victims on StlTodaycom.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

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the phoenix

“The reason I carry a gun is a cop is way too heavy!” and remember “when SECONDS count, the cops are only MINUTES AWAY.”

Beautiful Oxy. Just beautiful thinking going on there. Video and even photos documenting the damage of things, the state of affairs, disarray or disrepair things are in- all ways of documenting for legal purposes later on. Pretty much all cell phones have photo capabilities anymore, so we are always armed in that respect. Plug it in, forward the pics on to the email addy of a friend and it is documented, time, date, etc.


Just want to affirm what Oxy says about carrying a gun. It is a choice you MUST make BEFORE you need it.

I am NOT advocating that someone gets a gun to protect themselves b/c that’s NOT enough. I was one of those wimpy women who insisted on NO guns in the house. I was afraid. NOT any more!

I got educated about guns, gun safety, gun use. I have taken several classes teaching what help is available (none when you NEED it.) I have made a choice that when/if that time comes, I accept the consequences and I KNOW WHAT the consequences can be. I PRACTICE, not just accuracy, but what I would do in what scenario. What do I do if I am woken up with someone in my room? If they broke into a different room? How do I move? How do I keep myself in control (b/c DANGER wakes your flight/fight response.).

I do have an advantage. B/c I was severely abused, I do THINK during high danger. I know that about myself. I am a person who’s mind engages. SOME people go blank. I don’t recommend such a person to arm themselves. They need a different plan.

This is to say, I advocate the proper use of a defensive weapon for those people who are of the personality type to remain in control. YOU MUST KNOW YOURSELF and take all the appropriate classes. Maybe like me, once you can answer your fears, you are able to take on the responsibility. I AM that kind of person to take that responsibility and for me, empowering myself has given me peace of mind. PEACE b/c I have trained to defend myself. Finally, once you have that training, DON’T TELL anyone. I didn’t do it to be a target of someone’s challenge. I did it to NOT be the doormat or easy target that my abuser and his minions (likely what he’ll send, he avoids accountability.) thinks I am.

Ox Drover

Well, Katy, my P son knows that I am armed….and so does the Trojan Horse psychopath and the X DIL, so not telling them isn’t going to work…LOL BUT at the same time, because I AM prepared to defend myself 24/7 I am much safer from specificly targeted or general violence toward me or my home.

After my X BF was kicked to the curb, I made sure he knew that I knew he burned his X’s house and that SHE knew he did and that I have video CCTV that a fire wouldn’t wipe out…I also convinced him that if my house burned I would be coming after him…of course I would NEVER threaten him or anyone, that is illegal but I just made sure he knew I would not take an attack lightly. But I also realize that I can’t live in a fort with gun ports on the doors and windows and keep awake 24/7 so I make a compromise between caution and safety and living in terror.

I hope and pray I never have to confront anyone who is trying to hurt me physically but I am prepared to do what I have to do to remain safe and alive…whatever that is.

One of the countries with the LEAST AMOUNT of gun crime is Switzerland because EVERY able-bodied male in the country is in the militia and has an automatic rifle (machine gun) and ammunition in their home and has been trained how to use it. The bad guys know that every male in the country is armed and trained and they don’t want to meet resistence when they try to rob someone. LOL


You have a different situation where you needed to make it painfully clear to A* that you weren’t a target to mess with.

I said what I did about not telling b/c a lot of people get their concealed carry and then walk around daring people to mess with them. My purpose for arming is not to confront my husband and his minions and goad them into trying to harm me. My purpose is IF they did decide to harm me, they’d underestimate me and walk into a hornets nest.

Ox Drover

Oh, yes, Katy, I totally understand. Fortunately most of the people I know who do have their Concealed carry license are not “tough guys” ‘wanting an excuse to use their weapon, but concerned citizens, and frankly, I’m glad they are out there. I wish every man and woman in the US without a criminal record had a CC permit.


I find it reprehensible that some new woman would even want to use your decorations. Decor is so personal. It’s creepy that she’d use them. She might be a little disordered herself. At first I thought, well maybe he painted you as the crazy lady. That’s what was done to me, such a cliche, a stereotype, the wife is rejected b/c she’s crazy. And when enough people behave as if crazy is correct, it does mess with your head, esp when the story is going around and you don’t know it, and you don’t know you are about to be discarded. CRAZY MAKING! Sometimes people don’t ask, they like the easy answer. It’s keeps everything making sense in their world. They keep their fantasy (now who’s crazy!) by ignoring info and easily proven facts that points to reality. She’s heard one side and it’s the only side she wants to hear b/c of course, only a crazy lady would walk away and leave great stuff behind. That’s the ONLY possibility right?

Ox Drover

I think most if not all of us have believed what we really wanted to believe in the situation with our X’s at least for a while until it got too painful and we had to wake up to the fact that the snake that bit us was indeed POISON….then we had to take some action.

I think Free’s X’s new GF is the same way, she is believing whatever story he told that makes her comfortable enough to live in another woman’s home and use her Xmas decorations. Either that or she is also disordered and has no shame in taking what belongs to another…or some place in between. No way we can know for SURE what she is thinking, we can only guess.


I have a life time order of protection issued in the state of Flordia and I have confirmed that this order is valid in all 50 states. I have been in the process of divorcing my S for just under two years. He obtained my phone number from court records ( that were to be confidential). He called me over 200 times in one day alone. I had filed numerous violations of the no conatct order. He would be served with a court date and never show up. Finally he was arrested (nothing to do with me) then had no chioce as they knew where to find him. Before his trail even started he was arrested as he made an attempt to speak to me. My S was still wearing his wedding ring in court! He had been stalking me and violated the order of protection at least 10 times, the judge rolled all the charges in to one and he recieved five days in jail and 18 months probation. This is why women get killed! This was totally aggervated stalking which is a felony. He was charged with criminal contempt (by a female judge). He had adjudication withheld.. which means that this charge will not go on his record unless he violates his probation. The court will not protect you.. you must protect yourself! I have a gun now and a license to carry. My only peace is that I have moved and live 1300 mile away. Get a Gun, learn to shoot,Move, change jobs, get a phone in another persons name, do not trust the courts to keep your information privet, google your name and see what info is out there, in most cases you can have it removed. I posted a fake address on zaba people search incase he trys to find me, I have my house regiestered in another persons name, I have my water bill in a relatives name, be smart there are so many ways to find some one, you would never think some one could get your address from your water bill. Do not trust the court they will not protect you.. be smart and get a gun!!!

I got 18 months of stalking and living in fear the S got 5 days and 18 months probation… from a female judge.. ya thats what the courts do to protect you!! Protect yourself.. get a gun and learn to use it!!

Ox Drover


I am sorry that the courts did not take any reasonable action in your case.

I AM so glad though that you were smart enough to TAKE ACTION and to move. Not having your information linked to the address where you “stay” is very important.

Good advice about that….there ARE ways to have your car,, your home, etc. and even your Driver’s licenses NOT linked to your place of residence. You are, after all, not hiding from the FBI or the LAW but from a “skip tracer” who will get your address from PUBLICLY AVAILABLE RECORDS.

There are several books on how to LEGALLY cut the paper trail that leads to you, as well as some states will actually help you change your name and social security number without leaving a paper trail. I think California is one of those states.

Cutting that paper trail and the human trail as well that would lead your stalker to you like bread crumbs dropped along the path is the ONLY way to be 100% safe where they cannot find you.

I also have a gun, and am trained to use it, and willing to use it in self defense, but not every one is emotionally willing to do so. If I am ever killed with my own gun, it will be because it is empty and I missed every shot and they have to beat me to death with it, but not everyone is capable of making the decision to actually pull that trigger and under stress doing so.

Staying hidden is also a great option as well as bear spray (industrial strength pepper spray) Mace, where it is legal, wasp spray or oven cleaner spray are all pretty good “stoppers” that are non-lethal. PROTECTION is the name of the game if camo doesn’t work.

I’m glad you are now hidden! Good jjob!!!! TOWANDA!!!

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