By | April 29, 2012 7 Comments

Striking back at a stalker

A stalker sent a picture of his genitals to Ariane Friedrich, an Olympic athlete from Germany. She, pardon the pun, exposed him on Facebook. And some people say the stalker was entitled to privacy.

Read: Olympian outs stalker on Facebook, triggers debate, on

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Donna, thank you for posting this article. It begs the question, “Should we discuss our own experiences, publicly?”

In my case, I have physical evidence and documentation of the exspath’s activities and “alleged” crimes. I am prepared to speak about this with reference to educating the general (and, largely CLUEless) public about sociopathy, the masks of spaths, and that anyone can be a victim of a sociopath just as anyone can fit the profile of being a sociopath.

So, Friederich was being stalked via the internet. And, it’s premature and “Bad Form” for her to use the internet to fight back? LOL!!!!!!! Outrageous on all levels.


So in other words; What spaths do to you, you BETTER NOT do to them. UGH!


Ana…..ugh, is right!

I think what I want to avoid doing is to seek revenge – I mean true revenge to cause as much pain as I’ve experienced. HOWEVER, speaking the Truth – no embellishments or exaggerations – would educate people that this man looks so unassuming and presents such a mild-mannered and softspoken persona and is, in fact, someone who lived a completely alternate double-life AND stole another person’s assets, at will.

Revenge……is it the same thing as “justice?”


I can definitely see how this can be misused. What’s to stop a P or a vindictive person from posting something just to ruin somebody’s reputation?

The trouble with posting photos of genitals received in the mail is there aren’t any faces to go with them. How do we know who they belong to? Or, imagine some guy who thinks his penis is too small and sends a photo of what he’d like to be in his dreams?

I do see the silence and not being permitted to speak out about a history of behavior as enabling the perpetrator. I find it outrageous that the courts often will not permit past behavior to be presented at trials because it would be “prejudicial.” That’s the whole point. This is what the person does.

I also think squashing a victim re-victimizes the victim by shaming the victim publicly and condones the behavior in the perpertrator’s mind.

Isn’t looking at a person’s history the very same thing used to determine that a person’s unacceptable behavior is escalating and to show that the incident wasn’t “a one-time mistake” or “an oversight,” but a pattern that has been on-going and shows no signs of stopping?

So who is protected? Certainly not the victim or society.

My big reservation, though, is opening the door to malicious people to ruin innocent people. There needs to be some kind of check against that.

That was a significant part of what my P sister and S mother did when they attacked us. I know what people go through to get things corrected.

I also know that there are certain people who like to remember the “juicy parts” and pay no attention to the outcome. Then there are the people who don’t know enough either way, are undecided, and cross the street when they see you coming simply to stay out of the matter – that you never created or wanted.

Perhaps some kind of guidelines could be developed. But who would do that and how would they be enforced?

If you’re going to out somebody publicly, proof must be established.

In the US, I see some kind of battle over people’s First Amendment rights – and that could get out of hand really fast.

We publicly list sex offenders because people got angry enough over finding out that they live next door. Shouldn’t we have the same protection from people intending to make our lives a living hell?


I have thought/talked with husband about revenge. He said ‘I know you Ana, you won’t like it and you’ll be scared and it’s not as gratifying as you think’

So, as they say around LF either give them enough rope to hang themselves and pray you’ll be around to see it!Live a good life for YOURSELF. I’m trying to do that.

A woman I knew years ago got divorced from her a**hole husband and he made her life miserable. I later learned that after about 15 years after the divorce he wound up dying. I asked my friend ‘was she upset?’ He said,’upset, what are you kidding me? We had to stop her from throwing a party” LOL

I’m of two minds on this.
First, he tried to shame her with the slime picture. She rejected the shame and put it back on him. I love that. She showed that it is not her shame to own, it is his and he can keep it. This wasn’t about revenge. It was about not keeping his secret with him. Not hiding. It seemed very important.

Conversely, there is the danger of creating a scapegoat and inciting mob violence, albeit Facebook mob violence (lol!). Even though he is guilty and shameful, do we want to take that route? Not all scapegoats are innocent scapegoats. Sometimes they are guilty but the mob doesn’t really care. They are just attracted to the scandal as a way to cast off their own shame.

It’s a tough decision. I wish there was a third choice. Perhaps there would be if she could just dismiss it, but apparently she felt she could not, so she had to take the matter into her hands. She’s a cop too, so it figures. They don’t let things go easily.

Ox Drover

I think she should for now just have left a police report and been quiet about it, not given him the notice he was trying to get. Just my opinion.

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