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The murderer she married wasn’t reformed after all

A month after Shannon Moroney’s wedding day, her new husband, Jason Staples, sodomized and sexually assaulted two women. Staples has problems, although it’s hard to know exactly what they are.

Read Tall, dark and homicidal: She married a brutal murderer, on Lifestyle.ca.msn.com.

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12 Comments on "The murderer she married wasn’t reformed after all"

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After reading this article through twice, and trying to see the situation from the wife’s angle….I think her “his good side was REAL” stance is self delusion. I think many victims of psychopaths, especially violent ones, WANT SO BADLY to believe that what they felt for us was “real” and that some other part of them was the “bad” part, but the good part was also real. Nah, I don’t think so….I just think that some of the psychopaths have BETTER MASKS than others.

Just as Russell Williams didn’t “give himself away” and kept up a GREAT mask while he was living this “double life” doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a psychopath…just that he COVERED IT UP REALLY WELL.

As for this man’s previous abuse, both physical and sexual, I think it taught him to keep up a very good mask (for his own survival) I think he did a GREAT job of keeping the mask in the “normal human” category on the SURFACE….but I think it was slipping when he kidnapped the two women.

One of the primary things that Dr. Leedom has pointed out about psychopaths is LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL. Both the murder and the kidnappings/rapes show lack of impulse control on his part.

As far as the sexual sadism, again there WERE (in retrospect) signs.

Spotting this kind of psychopath, and I do believe he is a psychopath IS DIFFICULT….but at the same time, HOW MANY MURDERS/RAPES does a person have to do before you can say “psychopath”? My psychopathic son is also a very good manipulator as well….not as good as this guy, but he has convinced several people that he was a great guy if he just hadn’t had such an abusive mother…all he needed was love. I imagine that Jessica Witt gave him that “love” until he blew her brains out.

I thought this was a great article b/c it emphasized how RED FLAGS can be dismissed. She investigated. She asked the questions. She didn’t bury her head and pretend. Jason BEAT another human being to death in a fit of rage, and yet a professional someone decided he was not dangerous b/c Jason was given an excuse that would make the eyes roll on a teenager… and Shannon wife put her trust in the conclusion of a professional.

Jason APPEARED to be a great guy, except for the times he wasn’t.

As I am NOW, there’s no way I’d hang with this guy with that history. But, I can see how Shannon concluded that his history was excusable BECAUSE THE TRUTH WAS HIDDEN FROM HER and probably hidden from that psychiatrist who was so sure Jason was “cured”. The red flags were there, but (maybe b/c of the psychiatrist?) she failed to understand their significance and Shannon’s lucky she never had an encounter with Jason that triggered his rage… but I bet it was coming.

If I knew a man, who was abandoned by his birth mother, and sexually molested by his adopted mother, and abandoned by his mommy abuser when he was a teenage to another older woman (passed off to another predator) who also sexually engaged him, and whom in a fit of rage he beat her to death, an doh btw, he’d got a sexual problem so bad that they consulted a doctor… gosh NO WAY would there be another conversation.

But Shannon wasn’t given that choice. That’s the hidden agenda, the MASK, the one little piece of info that changes everything; which means JASON was consciously manipulating what HE KNEW ABOUT HIMSELF to deceive another. The empathy was GONE when it counted.

This was a great article to remind us not to beat ourselves up b/c spaths can seem so normal except for times they’re not. Unless you have previous experience with an spath, I think it’s very hard to understand the danger and know to get away. In fact, even with experience, b/c it manifests differently, I think it’s hard to ID spaths until that mask slips. I do think that experience teaches us to exit immediately and not blame ourselves as we likely did the first time it happened.

Interesting!
“The Comeback hug”……
I see the hooks and the “monday morning quarterbacking” Red Flags.
I see how she was wanting to believe in him…..and she thought she could ‘keep him on course’.
Reality is…..She couldn’t…..nobody could!

Toxic is toxic…..abusers are abusers…..Whether there is 1 hour or 10 years inbetween the abuses/crime.

His life was a lie…..and he learned to create ‘credibility’ because he exposed himself to ‘some’ wrongdoings.
I don’t believe we know the 1/2 of it……only HE does.

Ifwe could pour out his mind and secrets, I bet everyone would be blown away.

He learned that by exposing ‘some’ of his wrongs…..nobody would question IF there was more.
Society thinks that if someone is forthcoming…..they don’t hide other things.
They do!

I don’t believe my ex husband spath is bad every minute of everyday. But, it doesn’t mean his thinking is ‘on’ and he’s not contemplating his next con. It just doesn’t appear ‘bad’ because you don’t/can’t see it.

Bottom line…..if it swims in a pond.and quacks ONCE….it’s a DUCK!

It goes against our upbringing teachings of…..all people are good…..or good people make mistakes too…..or….people CAN change.

Yeah…..well…..there are too many GOOD people in this world to mess with toxics like that…..
TOXICS DON”T REFORM!

The wife still talks about his “two different sides”… like he is 2 different people…

EB
My husband was not bad every minute BUT when he was being good, that was when he was in CON mode. HE LOVED springing the trap, watching that moment of realization on a person’s face when they GOT it, that they LOST a game that they didn’t even know they were playing.

super chic
I do understand feeling like he is 2 different people. I could not figure out my husband and checked every book out of the library looking for insight. One of them was about a Dr Jeckyl/Mr Hyde personality.

ALso, it has taken a few years for me to understand the truth. First I had to get past the abuse and that it wasn’t personal. When he was ridiculing me and his family was beating me to teach me my place, it FELT personal!!

Just saying it’s more than 20/20 hindsight. I needed time/another place in order to see hindsight and to understand what that stuff actually meant. There were plenty of hidden messages that I learned much later (like the jewelry which was SO CLICHE, a trophy of his winning another conquest.)

Definitely fits my definition of a psychopath because the mask was on so well.

His lies were believable because he probably believes them himself. The nice things he did publicly, like cooling off a bowl of soup for a 5 year old, were part of the props to make the story “real”.

It makes one wonder how many other people like him are walking around and never “lose it” yet have the same shallow perception of reality. Like my mother.

Mark David Chapman, the guy who killed John Lennon, was also considered one of the nicest guys around. Volunteering with kids and the mentally ill, he was described as the last person you would expect this from. But in truth, he lived with a life long delusion of having little people worship him.

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/terrorists_spies/assassins/chapman/2.html

This is long but worth reading for a look inside this freak’s mind. It’s several pages long.

Jason seems like spath textbook. Yes the ‘good’ side seems incredibly real. It is indinguishable from someone who is empathic, and they pay a lot attention to seemingly detail caring acts (such as that bowl). Actually it’s a red flag to me, when someone pays enormous attention in detail to ‘care’. Because it is part of the mask to blow people’s minds with how unselfish and caring a person they are. My ex spath was like that…. and it was how I came to believe that he was dealing (and conning) for survival reasons, but he had a true heart of gold, because he’d help anyone if they were say sick. He was the best caretaker when I was sick (if he felt like it… he once completely ignored that too). Heck his most common excuse for ending up in trouble or for staying out were stories how he had helped a tourist out of a pickle. He once chasticed me publically for trying to pick good seats in a colectivo for ourselves. He told me I was being selfish. I got out again superquick and told him to never put me down in public like that; I was not selfish, I just had not seen yet who else was to board. Besides, if I had been selfish I would not have been paying for him.

This Jason had been in jail for a decade and wanted to appear as someone reformed, someone who had done something horrible, but it was only a one time event: he needed a job for that, he needed to come across as gentle and caring to everyone, and he needed a woman with impeccable integrity and social status. Once he was married to her, he had the perfect mask for society.

And yes that ‘honesty’ of his history is imo typical as well. When someone confesses to a wrong past we are more likely to regard them as an honest human being. My ex spath told me he had been in prison for a few months for stealing and dealing when he was 19-20. It actually feeds into the ‘reform mask’. Heck it makes us want to help them with their reform and reestablishment in society. And the show of kindness to people in general are then the arguments to prove his reform.

But all the while the mind skips a few steps. If he was anyone truly good, truly helpful, truly honest… then we would not need to seek official answers from a professional about their history, then we would not need those acts of kindness to argue to ourselves they are reforming. I never had to argue in my head for other ex-es or for friends that they are good people as I got to know them. That you make such a debate about it in your head is already a red flag by itself, because it implies that you have severe doubts about this person in the first place, and that you are ovveriding your intuition and the red flag behaiur of them with rationale.

And I’m sorry for this victim wife that she still believes his good side was real, because it sets her up for another goodorbad-head-debate with another man.

Excellent posts. My counselor indicated to me my spath could change. He just needed to become “more aware of his behaviors.” and I needed to “prepare for a long battle.” Now I look back and I wonder, did the counselor have any idea of the extent of what I was dealing with? I think NOT. I wasted 2 more years of being hopeful. I think counselors invest their own ego…. I can help this person, I can make a difference or have an effect. Now, I know this is a generalization. …as I do know a woman whose spath threw things at her. Never hit her, but she lived in fear and was controlled by him throwing things at her. Her counselor told her, leave, he will never change. Yeah!! Good counselor. All that will change is maybe he has nobody there now to throw things at.
Oxy, I think too the mask is often very big and some days the mask is more creative, but the mask is always there. It is what is the roller coaster mind fark that keeps us connected. The thought of losing what we committed to, family, a marriage, a sacred convenent and the spath smells these loyal people a mile away. We do want so badly to believe they have something good, but really I think their issues were there all along. The learning part for me…. and I would love to see a post on this, is why didn’t I trust my gut?(there were signs) why didn’t I leave sooner? (I say the kids, dreams of an intact family), but they know this and they predate on it. They bank on it, count on it, exploit it. If I write a book the title will be “Leave for the Sake of the Kids.” NEVER let the spath hurt you or the kids again. NO CONTACT… sometimes I think that might be why I stayed, I had almost 100% of raising the kids on my own, had I left he probably would’ve gotten 50% timeshare, dumped the kids with his toxic mother and gone and fucked around (maybe that is how I justify staying in a bad marriage). I know people in my community marvel, how could I not have known he was leading a double life,(sure it makes me feel stupid sometimes) but they have NO IDEA of the clever deceit, ability to lie with exhalation like a seasoned spath can. I have gotten better about not beating myself up for believing him.

honestkindgiver,
I like the title of your book. Write it. There’s a niche waiting to be filled.

My sperm donor’s father told my egg donor and several other family members that he “stayed with her (my sperm donor’s P mom) for the sake of the kids and it was the worst decision of his life.”

She swept him off his feet and they were married within a short time of meeting, then literally 3 days after the marriage he offered her half of everything he had for a divorce! In those days you couldn’t easily get a divorce. He ended up sending her to medical school, I think more than anything to get her out of the house and let the nanny raise the kids.

My sperm donor’s mom was the daughter of a bigamist, who was also a Methodist minister but was married at least 4 times that I know of, at one time to two women.

There’s no doubt in my mind where the psychopathic genes came from on my sperm donor’s side of the family….and on the egg donor’s side of the family, her grandfather was a mean arse drunk from a long line of mean-arse drunks dating back to early 1800s. Egg donor’s brother was also a wife beating mean arse drunk who was showing conduct disorder by age 7. He did understand superior force though and was smart enough even when drunk not to fight with or abuse someone who would fight back or even stand up to him.

What is weird here though is that he admitted his crime afterwards. Typical psychopaths are supposed to be guiltless. I think some (called secondary type of psychopaths) have weird senses of guilt that make them unable not to do what would make them guilty (a kind of fatal attraction to being guilty, despicable). Is the admission of his crime motivated by some twisted way of seeking guilt through public admission of his crime – or because guilt worked a seemingly more “normal” way in making him avoid further guilt by putting himself away… And can’t this avowal be somehow motivated by weird motives of attention admiration need and not by simple guilt? But then isn’t this partly the case for any avowal, wanting to be redeemed and admirable, lovable again? In this case I think his psychological state, whether he is a partially good or bad person, is extremely hard to understand, as he seems like he does feel guilt, or an extremely weird version of it. Besides, I think he much worse I won’t deny of a simple sexual sadist who has no blood on his hands, but is there only a difference of degree with other sexual sadists who cause probably real psychological harm to their partners although a consensual harm… (I think masochism when embraced suggests to you in a tortuous subconscient way that you are naturally a kind of inferior… Just like watching often videos of blond people acting submissively to brunets would make their inferiority when seen in real life look more natural). But this is a controversial opinion of mine.

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