I have a friend who lost his wife to cancer a year ago. He’s recently started going out in search of companionship. He knows my history of being involved with a sociopath, in fact, he knew my ex, James Montgomery. So when he had a bizarre experience with woman he dated for a few weeks, my friend had questions for me.
The woman claimed to be separated from her husband, although I’m not sure that was the case. She pursued my friend relentlessly, until they had sex. At some point, she made a comment about “a lion needs fresh meat.” After that, they spent an entire day together, then she unceremoniously dumped him.
My friend asked, was this woman kooky like my ex?
He told me more, and it sounded like the woman had sociopathic traits, although perhaps not the full-blown disorder. So we’ve been discussing this personality type. One conversation went like this:
My friend: “What’s the first thing sociopaths do when they meet you?”
Me: “Evaluate you to see if you have something they want.”
My friend: “What’s the second thing they do?”
Me: “Look for your vulnerabilities.”
That’s it, the sociopathic MO, or modus operandi. First, do you have something he or she wants? Second, how can they manipulate you to get it?
Feeding opportunities
Here is the brutal truth: Sociopaths view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey.
Here’s another brutal truth: Sociopaths view all social interactions as feeding opportunities.
So what do they want from their targets? In many cases, the answer is obvious—sex, money, a place to live, someone to support them.
But we also have to remember that sometimes, sociopaths just want entertainment. They want the fun of manipulating someone into doing what they want. They get a rush from getting over on their targets. These cons feed their primal desires that I’ve written about before—the desires for power and control.
My friend is shaking his head over the encounter with the predator female. Like all of us, he’s having a hard time coming to grips with how soulless these people truly are.
ox,
the executor had me committed, yeah, then another agent of his tried to drown me in a bathtub, to silence me, maybe prevent me from telling what happened to me.
how would you know what blueskies is suggesting, did you phone/visit each other, and how do you know the gender is female, the name used does not suggest any gender at all, no offense or harm intended.
the truth in my case is the executor has some form of business relying on trust, i have no idea what that is though, and my story would destroy this trust and his business would suffer, as i have noted somewhere here.
well, he had spread the word that i have mental health problems, untrue, obviously, as i am still at liberty and able to come and go as i wish, maybe, to give him the power to do those things, i think, if i knew about this, i would oppose it and prevent this, so he suppressed knowledge of this from me, until it was too late for me to do anything about it.
it does not indicate in the will how much i am to recieve and how often, nothing.
Oxy_
Thank you for your hugs and support.
Then Anneka,
If you are not willing to call any of those resources (and no I did not call them as They would be international calls for me) and check them out, I have no suggestions for you or how you can solve your problem. It seems you have tired everything that you think might work. Good luck.
Anneka – No offence taken!
I said:
“With regards to ’being sectioned’ (a classic threat by n’ear do wells!) get in touch with MIND http://www.mind.org.uk/ who will be able to answer all of your questions about how mental health services work in this country, YOUR RIGHTS, give you lots of useful info and point you in the direction of support if you need it.”
I have personally found MIND very helpful in the past – they’re fantastic. They’re a charitable organisation and amongst other things they stand up for the rights of people who are being abused in the way you have described. Oxy is absolutely right when she says I am trying to give you access to information. That’s all I am trying to do. I hope you can use it:) Best wishes for the future.
Anneka, there is this pervasive stigma with feeling emotional trauma that people call “mentally ill.” I was nearly committed, myself, and probably with good reason. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just couldn’t.
My choice came down to seeking help, or giving up. I chose to find a counselor that was very knowledgable about sociopathy and domestic violence/abuse. I took the steps to save myself FROM myself.
You’ve been given some sound suggestions and resources. Now, it’s up to you to either act on them, or not. It’s a choice for you, not a mandate. There are only 2 things in this lifetime that any one of us “MUST” do: pay taxes, and die. Everything else boils down to choices.
Brightest blessings to you.
Anneka:
Blu has offered excellent references WITHOUT suggesting your mentally ill.
She’s given you references to advocacy agencies to explain your rights in the mental health world in UK. (YOU stated YOU were commited).
” get in touch with MIND http://www.mind.org.uk/ who will be able to answer all of your questions about how mental health services work in this country, your rights, give you lots of useful info and point you in the direction of support if you need it.”
Support….ie legal support. (your rights)
I think you have been given all advice anyone can offer.
I feel you may need to remove yourself emotionally from this to ‘hear’ what others are offering you. You may be your worst enemy, your defenses are so high.
Attorneys do not want emotions….they want facts. I sense you may be driving attorneys away based on your emotional involvement.
I can also tell you…..an attorney won’t touch this with a ten foot pole with that website info out there. It’s dirty laundry/muddy waters to them…..they want legal facts only-unemotional facts!
Don’t hold your breath for an attorney to contact YOU based on reading your sites. Won’t happen.
I see a Libel suit coming down the pike, at very least, if you can’t ‘prove’ everything your writing on that blog.
Get the courts to monitor the executor and expose him legally…..anything else is redundant.
Good luck…..I too am out of ideas for you.
Dear Oxy, Blueskies, Anneka,
Somewhere in this story I am reminded of my Mom….
Hope all is well with everyone…I am happy to report that I feel the most back to myself…or having found the new and improved version of myself – after going through a few rough years of self-actualization (cant think of another word to describe my journey) after meeting a toxic person…as well as coming to terms/owning the potentially damaging selfless and at times selfish choices I was making …were adding to the mix! Finding the balance for me has been focusing more and more on healthier choices for myself (because I was unaware I had them as an option) and focusing on my family, my friends and those who are seeking the same kind of healthy balance in their own life…
For me personally, I had to get to know myself, my value and values, my strengths and weaknesses and MAKE CHOICES that were healthier and better for myself. Which included protecting myself – learning the tools how to do so – and knowing the reasons why (BECAUSE I MATTER TOO 🙂
Life gets just a little bit better with each phase of the healing process… its a never-ending journey but as long as we learn how to love and respect ourselves – we give ourselves the gift of protecting ourselves – from others who cant or dont know how to love/respect themselves or anyone else. We learn to move on to find like-minded people seeking a good healthy balance in their lives. xoxo
blueskies,
lovely name, by the way, i wonder how you thought of it, it speaks of a lovely summer sky, not a cloud showing.
i got this from the MIND LEGAL UNIT on the website you sent me the link for :- “We do not give advice on areas of law in which we have no specialist knowledge; for example, we do not advise on housing law, criminal law, wills and trusts, child care law, or welfare benefits.”
i dont think this would be any help to me, as you can see.
buttons,
sociopathy seems to be very well known in america, but the uk knows nothing about it whatsoever, i am in the uk, and you could say surrounded by ignorance, i never knew about it till i accessed a site in america, i forget which one now, but it was in america.
Anneka, I don’t believe that sociopathy is known in the US any more than it’s understood anywhere else in the world.
The recent developments with the Urine Vanderbloat spath is a perfect example of this. We keep hearing the words, “predatory,” “emotionless,” and “lacks feeling,” but we don’t ONCE hear newscasters or law enforcement use the phrase, “fits the profile of a sociopath.”
We do not use the word, “sociopath,” in this country EVEN when someone is diagnosed as such.