By June 16, 2009 Read More →

Victim sues ex for exposing her to HIV

Last year Lovefraud heard from a woman who said her ex-boyfriend had knowingly exposed her to the HIV virus, which causes AIDS. Before she would have unprotected sex with him, she insisted that he get a full screening for sexually transmitted diseases. The guy said he did, and everything was negative.

Nearly two years later, she found out the guy was cheating on her. She also found out he was HIV positive.

Last week, our reader has filed a lawsuit against the guy, and sent Lovefraud a link to a story about the case in the New York Post. For the frightening details, read:

Suit: Ex kept HIV secret


““Many people contract HIV who practice absitenence until marriage. I am one of them.” I meant to say I am one of the people who practiced absitenence until marriage, not that I have HIV.”

Yes, I had to reread your entry again to make sure what you posted was what I should understand. I did figure out you didn’t have HIV but were referring to abstinence until marriage but thanks anyway for the clarification. 🙂

Passing through, it may be true that I did not see your proclaimed state on this site but perhaps on another? I am new to this one — two weeks, maybe?) but the user name was “Passing Throudh.” I remember that vividly.

I chose this site of many I visited precisely because after reading for a few weeks, I saw no CLIQUES here.

I am terribly sorry if our “welcome” unnerved you but this morning I truly felt I was listening again to my personality disordered doctor spouse of over 45 years. Your respones sound just like him and my heart have been beating just as fast.

This time, however, I am happy to realize that I have recovered enough to realize I will not allow ANYONE to deter me from using this site, the ONLY avenue for my continuing recovery. I am housebound.

I am a former debater, too, with a Ph.D. in education. However, one of the reasons I think this site is successful is that there are essentially NO debates here — just gentle listening, loving, and caring.

Perhaps, you didn’t consider your audience before you posted the very first time?

Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors, for which I am embarrassed. I know better. Just shows how unnerved I am!


I strongly disagree with your view that the state should require blood tests or STD tests as a prerequisite for marriage. It is not the state’s place to screen human beings to determine whether they should be allowed to marry and have sex. When only certain types of people are regarded as “fit” to marry and have sex, very ugly things can happen: this is exactly the sort of legislation that would appeal to eugenicists. We must not legislate on the basis of who is considered “good enough” to marry and have sex.

A better approach, in my view, would be for health educators (both for youth and for adults) to stress the importance of requiring STI/HIV testing of prospective sex partners. Condom usage rates respond favorably to this type of education, and I imagine that pre-sex testing would not enjoy a similar increase, provided that public funds were allocated to provide free STI/HIV testing to anyone, with the option for anonymity.

I think it does make sense for the state to run a background check to find out if someone is already married, in order to end deceit-based bigamy. I do support multi-person marriages (marriages involving three or more adults), but only with the full consent of every adult involved.

PT, I feel I must remind you that the persons on this site are “wounded folks,” no matter what our backgrounds may be.

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