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By | June 9, 2013 32 Comments

Woman’s new online romance is really her ex with a fake identity

Three months after her divorce, a woman from West St. Paul, Minnesota, met a new man online. She revealed her struggles with her ex-husband. Except the guy was her ex-husband, Brian Matthew Cornelius.

Woman’s online boyfriend turns out to be ex-husband, who now faces stalking charges, on TwinCities.com.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

 

 


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Ryan961

Yes this exact thing happened to me too. But I knew it was her early on.

Wow,I had never considered that a stalker might go that far! I’m sure glad she figured it out before things went any further!

fightforwhatsright

I have never done the online dating stuff. I know one person who did and she met some red flag people and some people who seemed nice enough. She married a red flagger because…well…she didn’t know what the red flags were…the same as us.

I think if I was going to be online “dating,” this story is a good lesson. I would definitely ask to meet the person in a public place within a couple of weeks of the online “chatting.”

It’s way too easy for spaths to be chatting up 1,000 people, sexting, and sending phony photos and fake information. I would be giving my true information and putting myself at risk thinking this was a real person. It would be very upsetting to put in a lengthy amount of time online only to meet and notice red flags after wasting weeks and months when I could have met them right away.

I would also have subscription to one of the online services that completely checks out the records of people. If I couldn’t find anyone by the name they give me in the city where they claim to live, that would be a big red flag.

7stepstoheaven

I saw this information in the comments to that story – how to tell if a picture in someone’s profile has been “borrowed” from someplace else:

As a moderator on a popular online dating site, I see stolen pictures used on profiles all the time. You can identify a stolen picture by copying the URL of the pic and running a google image search

How google reverse image search works – It searches for the same picture as the url you provide. GIS can even match partial and photoshopped pictures. Trust me, it is reliable. When you search someone profile picture and you get results from porn sites, you know. As an example, here is a Google Image search of a photo I deleted for being “Not the user”:

http://images.google.com/search?tbs=sbi%3AAMhZZivNkTnC0CYhC2xFPT_1U7QRwm_1or2OuXwbQdoFc5Az11rseBeDV0BTF-jI0vzhL3n9q03hGUsmih7xql-8KmHjQEjPs7u71y8bgn18FvfR9U_1pck4C2MkrDQmGtAfkyPI4a-6YlTfHGNA-HCmfrxKmZi-dueiw_1p43Zb4_1DMToasmO77IIyLGeVAu0mLEmj6tuk0xA9haeE2twGOkZA6rL2RjuMuPx4IP_1Cf-jLbj9moatNgEYDg13IkvZ90Yzps-Gg-u-Lkt-L8Dk7qjC_1nQ2Uh_136gpFrxj6Z9rOKeG7eI_1nLeZ240EjWPTkLFBhmTADXKEj7rKtT5e0aZgzBvmeWJBEYzMDpEOmXgv0ZgCWSsQIHgVNBrFmQiawFIg9KYmeFoGQ48Nld0UKMQ1H3HZYNMzFL_1BFnvTdo5yWwKbWznGZDIIlYrgjocH01UrByyPuhtPZIMxg0SH_1P2JKe22_19CSnpxzV_1kiGuMRerUPOSujl0rr5TlnAV14zS1vmEzgLIyTZheBj1jB6Av2fB0DygYpk2J8zgRh_1IHulEuBeWsN80Fhc_14rfIIpmcprXhKI8u3MCiZrM3Co_1UTGM3Lqt5i7EIdu8E5vPEZKX9CAfnJ3DBpBqmtTc6WATK-aeRN-AZaFeNgDytKY4dKdf2yRYqmjF7gHF6B2uuQwrVzUgdSAEJmIW2HLyiqXYjRLUfmCJtr0ZUqX6PVgeIZZDHew2brJzh9AYoZ_1bB7pXcAGL5rJJSfLMwNIKXZNdNcjEVK3lg7yBzwn1oWzsJI6ib1KJnduQQ6yLgqrp7AruFpNCWLKnCunVi68NFc_1l-Uexw_17YLFi3UR9vpDnU1bW30AWWaRe_1XrGqRmDJtCYvOpTLFBhag4OWHufqfM-AFUCyfkqkjvtSCA1CKxpW-kOYfcA79H2xZ2X2oZkLj61m4YtprWYjCJA-gX0Z0deW0GgvcLSlz0HtKHgX_1vShvfcX6azdXh07Zquz13oi6dojL-V_1ZHnK7ISOLDrfz2JPrMMnBsuPbdcOz40paLbYNODNh9oF4_1d0B_179tY0PX4cynQtS4rF7stLa6z0rk32wHmsnQTbwDTYeyuoFx4O2uiVhNlojhi7CD2rdq-AjKSCnBsynisK-uGp7WyadygbyxuEpIEJPj4j8gmiwMIYZOAC1HECMLAnpkZZedcHkqdNf2GYlnQ-wMOVHAHrfaQO9T1ORP9vB06jBVI8oeeUtWByyFvAlIxLgbRsGGD55H4ujY_1QKuWl2FxLl5oasESasqgOTdkIDoVbOdQx-PYTlu3mWWtfTFJEnEK6z0MNo4uiI7ovXOLqG5ImgM&btnG=Search+by+image&hl=en&bih=993&biw=1920

fightforwhatsright

7stepstoheaven:

Good information. You may have truly helped online daters here today. Thank you.

Corinne

“Sexy” doesn’t necessarily mean true.

This story is full of holes.

Instead of buying the hype and jumping on the bandwagon – THINK about the facts.

fightforwhatsright

We sure are hearing more and more scary stuff about on line dating. I don’t know if I would ever be able to try it with all of the people here and in the news who end up in a shambles over it. It’s hard enough to recognize the Red Flags face to face.

Corinne

Anonymity is a one of our basic freedoms as citizens of a free country.

It should be understood by all , that anyone someone talks to on the Internet is anonymous with a true identity being unknown.

This sensationalized story doesn’t belong in a discussion of psychopathology.

https://www.eff.org/issues/anonymity

fightforwhatsright

I believe the story belongs here and trust Donna to know whether or not people need to know more about protecting ourselves on line.

When someone says everyone “should” know something, I have a question. Has there ever been anything in your life that you did or said and others thought you “should” have known better? I don’t know….possibly getting tricked by a sociopath?

If everyone dealing with sociopaths knew everything as we perfectly “should,” sociopaths would die alone and hungry and we wouldn’t need support here.

Your vehemence )in two posts) against this article is strong. Some people don’t know everything that everyone “should” know and we like getting information that will help us avoid and/or handle sociopath behaviors. IE: Gray rocking is a new idea I am working on and “should” know how to do perfectly…but I’m not there yet.

Donna, thank you for posting this article as well as so many others describing what perfect people should do to handle sociopaths. I am grateful that you have the empathy to know that real people rarely perfectly do what we “should” about sociopaths (on or off line), and we need informational articles so we can continue to be informed about risks everywhere.

raggedy ann

Corrine, this article is an excellent reminder of what you think “should be understood by all.” Depending on one’s life experience or where one is from, one might not have a feel for this until one is burned or has heard a number of stories like this one.

I am a little wary of the Bollywood story that was posted, pending more info on it, but it didn’t occur to me to think that that this internet-relationship-story should not be repeated here.

fightforwhatsright

There have been a couple of articles here that didn’t fit what I felt I wanted, or needed, to hear. One, in particular, upset me and I posted why and how it upset me. However, it is here and is apparently helping some people with their thought process. I’m in agreement with Raggedy Ann and how she posted her opinion about this. I personally do need to know about online fraud and sociopaths. I have read some horror stories here recently from members who were strung along for a very long time in online romances that turned out to be fraudulent. Why wouldn’t someone want as many people as possible to know that there are fraudulent sociopaths on line?

terae1218

When I read that her ex used a fake identity to be an online possible relationship for her it made me physically ill. It has been since June 11 that I have had NO CONTACT. He texted me his CYCLE OF GAMES up thru today. I had a car that he bought to flip towed to his dad’s house.. he lives a half mile away. I didn’t even tell him I just had a tow company pick it up and drop it off at his dads. He texted me that thanks for towing his car and he would have grabbed it. Even though I have been asking for 2 weeks. He made sure to put in text messages three times since last night that I can go date whoever I want now and he is doing the same thing. Like he is releasing his ownership over me or something. I know it isn’t over because my friend T moved in here and I met T through that wak job but they are not friends now. They shared tools and worked together and I know the second he finds out.. I will again start to be harassed. I still love him and yesterday I was nauseous when I thought about having sex with him for the first time ever. Today I am missing him.. The scary thing is on the 11th he threatened to get me on harassment(I just had a phoney domestic violence charge from him dropped). He SOMEHOW got into my phone and DELETED ALL THE TEXTS MESSAGES he sent to me that were love, or threatening and just left the ones that said fuck off or leave me alone… well his cycle is fast. I get all of it within a 24 hr period. Sometimes twice. But I looked it up the only way that could have happened is through spy gear. I have not done anything. I FREAKED out so bad that I was sick. So I guess there is spy gear on my phone.

fightforwhatsright

Hi terae: Congratulations for having the car towed. That took a lot of courage…especially if you are still going through the stages of missing him. Remember that you are missing a persona he was showing you when he wanted something. Not the real him. The real him is manipulative and threatening and it sounds as if he put a bug on your phone. My understanding is that can be easy to do. Contact your cell phone company and I believe for a small fee they will change out your SIM card and help you figure out how to get rid of his invasion of your privacy. Hang in there.

Tea Light

Terae what happened with your phone is likely to have been the result of spyware. But his phone provider should keep records of every text sent from one of it’s sim card numbers for a legally determined period. Here in the UK that period is two years from what I recall when I reported my stalker to the police. It is very upsetting and your anxiety levels are understandably very high right now. You have options. Youcan download a free call and text blocking app if you have a smart phone. If not, you can get a new sim as ffwr says. It’s annoying, but changing your number will bring you peace of mind. You can report what happened with this man and the deleted texts to the police. So there is a record of yourconcerns. Google to find a techsite which can advise on how to check your phone for spyware. If you find it, report that to the police too. You are not alone, your friend is living with you. No contact and no drama need to be your priorities for getting rid of the stalker. No contact with his father, no response at all to any attempt to get to you through third parties. Any further harassment, record it, report it, then get on with your life. The intense fear and nausea is a result of your overworked fight or flight responses terae. Read up on adrenaline and cortisol and their effects on us, it’ll help calm and detach you. Be safe.

fightforwhatsright

Tea Light knows. I hope you will listen to the people here who have been through stalking. You have to nip it fast with no contact. It is dangerous. The phone company will know what to do. I’m sure they get many calls a day about this.

Corrine,
I agree with you only on one point;that is that we have the right of anonimity if we choose…BUT…no one has the right to take that right and twist it to stalk,and at the very least hurt another person emotionally!!! So yes,that story DOES belong on this website,because a person who would go to such great lengths is more than likely a psychopath!

fightforwhatsright

Blossom knows. Any kind of stalking is a very big deal and it doesn’t get enough publicity. Stalkers get away with so many awful things because unless they do something like break in or stand at your door screaming, they get away with covert things that are even more crazying making to their victims. Stalking is still a crime where there is way to much victim blaming instead of perp scaring.

terae1218

It is very scary.. he has gotten my ID address several months ago on my old computer and logged into my facebook. I don’t know everything he looked at. He has looked in my windows. He has looked in my windows and showed up here and kicked my fence down.. He has done so much damage. And I have not been able to go to my cell phone carrier yet, I am going to go today and see how much it will cost. I never would have known that I wasn’t alone if I didn’t find this website in the beginning of May when I was searching Sociopath because I did not understand the hold he has on me at all.. I have left alcoholics and assholes before. Never like this I thought I was crazy. And I believed I loved him so much more then anyone else. I still feel like I do. It was definitely a moment when the tow truck driver took the car away. That was the last texts I have received from him. Yesterday. Nobody understands what I am going through. Its really hard. I am very reclusive right now. And I still miss him terribly. I was reading about the stare that they give and I used to tell him his magic was in his eyes. I felt like he controlled me through them. Especially during sex.

terae1218

I am thankful to have found this website and glad I chose subscribe to it.

Just wondering.Awhile ago I received a msg on my cell phone “***** would like to share private pictures with you”.This has happened before.But this is the first time I extracted an address.It happens on my computer to.I NEVER answer such msgs! Is this just something that has to be accepted with the convenience of technology,or is it a form of stalking when you get such msgs?! I tend to be hypervigilent.

Corinne

Corinne,
Thank you for posting that link! I added it to the ones I had already bookmarked.

Even though my husband is in a nursing home,I’m quite aware that stalking is still a danger! I know he’s angry that I’ve maintained NC for 7 monthes!

He’s not supposed to have my phone #.But I know 2 people who would give it to him possibly.His sister and a mutual friend.

I just realized that he could have written the IP # of the computer down before I got it,as we had it before I left him.

Tea Light

Hi all, I’ve been looking at spyware information. It’s really unbelievable. The software developers market spyware for phones as a way for parents to keep tabs on their kids. They know perfectly well stalkers are going to use it. Some programmes can be remotely installed. For any of us dealing with a sociopath who knows our phone numbers it’s worth reading up on how go detect the spyware. Ehow and wiki answers both have advice. I use my phone a lot to post on LF but fortunately my stalker has limited English.

I was reading some Ehow articles yesterday on hacking.I don’t know if that’s what you’re referring to or not,Tea Light.

I have virus and spyware protection,that I put on the computer after I left my husband.I wouldn’t think anything could get through.But then I’m a tech-dummy! 🙂

I just know that my husband is showing himself to be very possessive and he’s getting braver at our place of worship.Today he was right at the door as I entered!I just ignored him and walked on in and to my seat!

Tea Light

Blossom, at *your* place of worship, it’s just a change of scenary and a stalking opportunity for him! I think this increased boldness is worrying and that the church leaders need to intervene, love. I would suggest you make clear to them that you have chosen to leave the marriage due to years of abuse although they probably know that much, but also explain that ” no contact” is essential to your mental health and that you have grounds to believe, knowing this man’s personality better than anyone, that he is cynically using the church as a venue to stalk you. That is, to impose unwanted contact on you that distresses and frightens you. Tell them he appears to be testing the boundaries as the weeks go by and that you reasonably predict that he will approach you in the near future unless they intervene. If they are not prepared to ban this violent abusive ” worshipper” then they should intervene and protect you, by acknowledging the risk to your health your estranged “husband”mposes, disabled or not. They should make arrangements to have him seated in a designated place prior to your arrival. That should be the condition of his attendance. Remind them of the brutality this man inflicted on you and explain the trauma his presence causes you Blossom. He is manipulating the church leaders. He needs to be kept away from you. Love to you today.

fightforwhatsright

Blossom:

I believe Tea Light is absolutely right in trying to help you protect yourself. The stalker is getting bolder and that is dangerous.

I strongly suggest that you gather your proof of abuse and stalking and file for a protective order. This means HE has to stay a certain number of yards away from you. If he shows up at your place of worship, the police can be called and he can be escorted out. Otherwise, my personal opinion is that there is no place of worship or higher power worth what your mind and body go through every time you see him. A good place of worship should be a safe place. You may not realize it, but every single time he is there, your brain and body chemistry are changing and it will create illnesses later. Can you start over at a new place of worship for formal meetings and then meet with friends at the current one you are sharing with the stalker outside of church….maybe for lunch or invite them to your home for a visit or small group religious study or something? Stalking, spying, etc. are all dangerous signs that someone is going to keep pushing until they may do something to harm you physically. A higher power is supposed to be a comfort. I don’t believe a higher power would want you to keep endangering your psyche and body to go to one specific place of worship. I hope there are other choices.

My spath Lodger is having his second leg surgery right now. So, I will be resting and probably not on here as much over the next couple of weeks. I need a rest while he is gone…hopefully for 2 days. It feels weird because I don’t want him to be in pain. I want him to be well enough to keep paying me rent. But, he sure has been on his best behavior stuck in a walker!

BTW, Lightsie, feel free to call me fightsie. I just felt the need to change to initials for a while. I hope you are hanging in there.

Tea Light

Thanks love. I’m asleep half the day due to the mirtazapine but no unpleasant side effects as yet. You have a good break.

fight,
If I have no other choice,I have a friend who has offered me a ride to another nearby town.The reason that is a last resort is that most of the time I don’t see my friends here EXCEPT at our place of worship.Our homes are far from each other,and schedules are busy.

But you and Tea made good points and I see the need to do something about this NOW before it goes any further!

I’m glad you’ll be getting some rest! 🙂

Tea,
Thank you for your suggestions.I will talk to the elders and see if they will atleast make sure he is at a designated seat before I arrive.One thing I have already done(and I made copies for two people in the congregation,as well as a copy that is kept in the building),is on my DPA(health care rep&living will,etc),
I noted that spath isn’t allowed as a visitor to the hospital.

Babs94540

I used to know a woman who did this very same behavior. She belonged to an online dating service, but she generated a false ID for herself, including posting much younger pictures of herself to get dates. If a guy responded and asked her out but either wouldn’t go through with the initial date or didn’t ask her out for a second time, she would harass the guy by creating a new false ID and cyber-stalking him.

This woman (a friend from childhood) seemed to get a big kick out of this kind of creepy revenge behavior; she shared this with me like she was proud of herself & clever for thinking it up.

When I eventually broke off our friendship, she subjected me to similar cyber-stalking for over two years. It took me about six months to figure out that the odd posts I’d get from people I didn’t know (that expressed hostility and oblique references to my life history) were actually from this ex-friend. The only thing that worked for me was to completely ignore all attempts at communication by anyone whose ID was unfamiliar, but still it took her another couple of years to give up.

I’m pretty sure that this ex-friend had narcissistic pd, if not full-blown psychopathy.

fightforwhatsright

Hi Babs, It seems that when online, it is a good idea to meet the person sooner rather than later. I’m glad you figured this “friend” out.

Tea Light

She sounds unstable and disordered Babs that’s for sure. As great as the connectivity the internet makes possible can be, it’s a stalker’s playground.

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