Description
Red Flags of Love Fraud
10 signs you’re dating a sociopath
By Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com
You’re in a romantic relationship. It started out as a whirlwind of attention and affection, but now you have a gnawing fear that something isn’t right.
Or you were in a relationship that was verbally, emotionally, financially or even physically abusive. That person is gone now, but you still don’t know how you fell into it, and you’re scared it will happen again.
Or someone you care about is hooked up with a partner who worries you. You can’t understand how your friend or relative got involved, and why he or she doesn’t leave.
In all of these situations, the person causing the problems may be a sociopath. No, sociopaths are not all deranged serial killers. But they are social predators who live their lives by exploiting others.
Red Flags of Love Fraud explains exactly what a sociopath is. It outlines the top 10 warning signs of sociopathic behavior, and what you should do if you see them. You’ll learn:
• Why sociopaths seem to be your soul mate
• The real risk of online dating
• How sociopaths seduce you
• Why there’s no such thing as “just sex”
• Why you can become addicted to a sociopath
• How to end the relationship safely
• How to protect yourself from human predators
Donna Andersen, author of Red Flags of Love Fraud, based this book on her personal experience—and on the experience of thousands of people who recounted their involvements with sociopaths in two Internet surveys. Andersen also draws upon the work of top experts in the field to analyze how sociopaths seduce their targets and why people fall for the deceit and manipulation. This book is the most comprehensive explanation of sociopaths in personal relationships ever produced.
Red Flags of Love Fraud tells you, in clear, straightforward language, how to spot and avoid sociopaths. If you’ve already tangled with one of these social predators, the book will show you that you’re not alone.
E-book edition
All the information of the printed book is also available in a convenient e-book. Plus, the links to outside reference material are active, so if your e-reader is connected to the Internet, you have instant access to more in-depth information about sociopaths. Red Flags of Love Fraud is available in all e-reader formats.
Reviews:
“The best book ever on sociopathy”
“Arms you with every applicable tool and insight available to identify the sociopath and jettison him or her from your life, before he or she upends yours.” Steve Becker, LCSW
“The best book for spotting the socially sick”
“Red Flags of Love Fraud is well written, organized and understandable. Together, the book and accompanying workbook provide a complete look at how to avoid entanglement with a sociopath.” Liane Leedom, M.D.
For more information on the book, see this chapter-by-chapter description.
Liane Leedom, M.D. –
Donna Andersen determined through surveys and her knowledge of people that the term “sociopath” should be revived and used to describe those who (irrespective of their official psychiatric diagnosis) have adopted a predatory or parasitic lifestyle. In taking this bold step, Donna has filled the void created by my colleagues in Academics and the American Psychiatric Association who can’t seem to agree on how to name and define this group. These are people who are called by many names in popular psychology books including: psychopath, narcissist, antisocial, and borderline. The word sociopath tells us what many with these diagnoses are socially sick.
The person on the street need not care about diagnoses, the person on the street needs to know how to spot and avoid the socially sick. Red Flags of Love Fraud is the best book yet about how to do just that. It shows us how to identify and avoid predators and parasites.
The word “sociopath” also does a service to the mentally ill; to use it is to understand that not all people who suffer with psychiatric disorders are dangerous. A sociopath is by definition dangerous because that individual has a mental illness AND has made a choice to victimize others. Though initially a choice, victimizing behavior becomes an addiction the disordered person will not overcome.
I know Donna to be a first class journalist who bases her writing on solid research. Red Flags of Love Fraud is no exception. The information in the book is based on scientific surveys and her experience with thousands of victims.
In addition to being an outstanding writer, Donna has dedicated her life to preventing suffering by giving people the tools they need to protect themselves. Red Flags of Love Fraud is well written, organized and understandable. Together, the book and accompanying workbook provide a complete look at how to avoid entanglement with a sociopath.
This set of books makes a great graduation or birthday gift for a young person. Buy them as a present for yourself if you are single and dating. You need to know this information to avoid a situation where the person of your dreams becomes your worst nightmare.
sarahs –
When I first got a copy of Donna Andersen’s Red Flags of Love Fraud, my immediate reaction was, “Oh yet another book on sociopaths.” Having been a victim myself, and a fellow author who has read almost every book on the subject, I was half expecting to find a book that was regurgitating old ideas with nothing new to say.
Well how wrong I was, because this is not one of those books. Apart from one other book I have read recently on Character Disturbance, this has to be the best book I have read so far on sociopaths. Donna Andersen combines her expertise based on real life experience, and real heartbreaking true life stories from those people who submitted to her survey via http://www.lovefraud.com. The book is both eloquent and intelligently written and dispels some of the myths that people have about sociopaths just being Ted Bundy-like characters. It also explains some of the discrepancies between the sociopath(ic) types such as psychopaths, antisocials, and so on.
Donna points out that most sociopaths are everyday folks whose sole aim is manipulation, power and control. Along with providing key tools such as how to spot “red flags” for potential abusers, Donna goes onto explain what types of people are likely to be targets, mostly anyone, and those more “wounded” types who are much more likely to fall prey to the sociopaths’ charms. Donna explains clearly the types of manipulation tactics they use, and why it is often so hard for victims to escape because of the pathological bond. More importantly, she explains why many friends and family may be unaware that abuse is even happening in the first place. Since the book is interspersed with real life stories, data and research, it should hopefully add additional muscle to voices of those victims who have been speaking up for too long without being heard.
In additional to being aimed at those readers who may potentially be targets of sociopaths wanting some kind of help, I would recommend that this book goes on the reading lists of professionals. It might also behoove those friends and colleagues of people who think something is “not quite right” to read it and pass it along in order to educate and raise awareness of this important social problem that is the sociopath.
As a coach who helps people coming out of abusive relationships, this will go on my recommended list of must-reads for those who come and see me in the future.
Ox Drover –
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
I was eagerly awaiting the release of this book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, and I was not disappointed at all. Donna Andersen, the owner of the LoveFraud.com website, received her “credentials” in dealing with sociopaths (psychopaths) when she married James Montgomery, a full-fledged con man. At the time Donna “enrolled” in this course in the University of Hard Knocks, she was totally unaware that this charming and charismatic man she had married was indeed a sociopath. He conned her out of more than $200,000 during the short course of their marriage, had numerous affairs, and actually fathered a child with another woman during their marriage.
Wanting very much to help others avoid enrolling in this course in the University of Hard Knocks, Donna has written her second book about the experience.
While I was up all night reading her first book, not being able to put it down, this book I read more slowly and carefully.Red Flags is laid out almost in an “outline form,” so that it is easily understood. Donna has arranged each chapter and each section so that it is easily comprehended. She has also used excerpts from many of the thousands of people who have sent their stories to Lovefraud and completed Lovefraud surveys (of course changing the names).
Donna explains the confusion with the terms sociopath, psychopath and antisocial personality disorder, not only the professional differences about what to call it, but also the exact diagnostic criteria for any one of them. She also makes it plain that it doesn’t matter what you call them, they are toxic and there is no cure for what they have.
She debunks the myths about sociopaths/psychopaths all being serial killers and deranged criminals. In addition, she points out the old fallacy of “there is good in everyone” as being one of the things that keeps victims hanging on.
The Red Flags that are covered in the book are:
Charisma and charm
Sudden soul mates
Sexual magnetism
Love bombing
Blames others for everything
Lies and gaps in the story
Intense eye contact
Moves fast to hook up
Pity play
Jekyll and Hyde personality
Each of these actually correspond to symptoms on the Psychopath Check List developed by Dr. Robert Hare, but in more informal terms.
This book is not stiff or clinical in any way, but infinitely readable and packed with information to help people spot the “red flags” that sociopaths/psychopaths display in how they try to hook vulnerable people in order to fleece them, before they get fleeced.
Every high school kid should be required to read this book in order to educate themselves to the predators among us. People who have already had the “course” in dealing with a sociopath/psychopath will also profit as well. I recommend that everyone buy two copies, one to keep and one to give to a friend who is in a bad dating situation.
monicapz –
The Most Concise Book On The Topic!Keep this book on my nightstand and refer to it frequently. You never know when these types show up in your life, not just romantic life. This is reference reading! Say that with very few books. Get one for yourself, everyone you care about and for the local library!
Virginia (verified owner) –
An excellent explanation and coverage of critical information for women that should be included in Health Education Syllabus’ for high school and college students which would save them a lot of unnecessary pain, etc. in their futures.