Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte19." Names and details have been changed. It was blind love. Yes, actual blind love. In 2016, as a widowed mom to three boys for 13 years and true empath, having run non-profits for nearly 25 years, I was ready, now that boys were young men, to explore real adult committed relationships. I’d recently ventured into online dating and even met a charming British beekeeper, who upon learning was “shockingly into polyamory,” I had placed in the “friends only” category. Having just lost my 6 figure job due to non-profit board politics, I walked into that all years high school reunion at the age of …
Book Review: Why humans are both virtuous and violent
The Goodness Paradox: The strange relationship between virtue and violence in human evolution, by Richard Wrangham Review by Donna Andersen The central premise of this fascinating book is that humans — Homo sapiens — are domesticated primates, and this accounts for our ability to be both incredibly altruistic and incredibly brutal. The author, Richard Wrangham, is a professor of biological anthropology at Harvard. In making his argument, he reviews thousands of years of evolution of both humans and other species. This book is a fascinating look at where we came from and how our evolution affects our behavior. Philosophers, religious leaders and ordinary people have debated the …
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Thinking he was gay, she let her guard down, but he was a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Evelyn19. Names have been changed. I came to North from Florida as a traveling RN. Needless to say, traveling for work gives me financial stability and independence but it can be lonely. After moving into a month to month apartment in June and realizing that all the windows had been nailed shut and the place didn't have air-conditioning let alone a ceiling fan, I had to find someplace that was cool. I left work at 8 pm on a Tuesday in a town I'm not from, so the options are limited of where to go. So you guessed it! I go to the closest bar for a few drinks and contemplation of how to go back to my …
Thinking he was gay, she let her guard down, but he was a sociopathRead More
Vietnam veteran sends nearly $30,000 to woman he met online
It's a scam. His family knows it's a scam. But they cannot convince a 70-year-old Iowa man, a Vietnam veteran, that the woman he fell in love with does not exist. The man sent nearly $30,000 to the woman, draining his bank account. Elderly love scam, on kdsm17.c9m. This sad story plays out often — thousands of people have lost millions of dollars. But why does everyone fall for it? Because involvements with sociopaths are highly addictive. And make no mistake — con artists claiming love to swindle people are sociopaths. How can you protect yourself — or hopefully someone you love? Educate yourself about sociopaths, their typical ploys, and how you can be affected. It's all …
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Sociopaths get worse after age 50, say 91% of Lovefraud survey respondents
The common wisdom in the mental health field is that sociopaths "burn out" in middle age. If only it were true. According to Lovefraud's research, after age 50, the behavior of sociopaths is just as bad — or worse. In Lovefraud's online survey, 2,120 romantic partners, family members, friends and associates of suspected sociopaths answered questions about their experiences. Here were the key questions of the survey: Did you know the individual both before age 50 and after age 50? A total of 1,276 people answered the question, and 65% said yes, they did know the individual before and after age 50. Did the individual "mellow out" or "burn out" after age 50? Did the individual …
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Man charged with killing his wife hours after a nonprofit posted his bail
On April 4, 2019, Samuel Scott, of St. Louis, Missouri, was arrested on a misdemeanor assault charge. In January, he had hit his wife, Marcia Johnson, and threatened to kill her. The judge set his bail at $5000. On April 9, 2019, the St. Louis Bail Project, part of a national nonprofit that bails people out of jail, posted Scott's bail. Also on April 9, 2019, Scott was served with a restraining order, prohibiting him from entering his wife's home or coming within 300 feet of her. But on April 9, 2019 around 7:45 pm, Scott went to his wife's home and beat her. A friend found her unconscious, with a broken eye socket and several broken ribs. Police say she was nearly dead with severe …
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Translating a sociopath’s attempts to hoover his ex-wife via text, part 2
Editor's note: Once again, the Lovefraud reader "Maura" analyzes a sociopath's texts to her friend as he tries to hoover her back into a relationship. Read Maura's previous translation of the sociopath's hoovering. Introduction — sociopathic hoovering This is another text that my friend Annie was sent from her sociopathic ex. Four years ago, after a 17-year marriage, he abandoned her and their sons for his new flame from Craig’s list. Once again, on the surface his text seems genuinely caring and that he is truly motivated to mend his ways. However, he is a sociopath and he’s simply toying and baiting her. We’ve analysed all the standard sociopathic ploys he flips through to get a …
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Will emotional abuse become physical abuse?
If you are targeted by a sociopath, you will endure emotional abuse. Sociopaths — meaning people with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders — live their lives by manipulating and exploiting others. So if you have any kind of extensive or ongoing involvement with a sociopath, you will be manipulated, deceived and betrayed. It's just a matter of how badly. Manipulation, deceit and betrayal are all forms of emotional abuse. Why? Because society runs on trust, and sociopaths violate trust. When the trust you place in someone is violated, you suffer an emotional wound. But will emotional abuse become physical abuse? The answer is, …
Signs of a sociopath: Belgian woman allegedly scams 7 men
Semia B., a Belgian woman who was not fully identified, is on trial for pretending to love seven men and scamming them. Her story includes signs of a sociopath. Nele Poelmans, the public prosecutor, claimed Semia B took a total of 385,000 euros over three years, although one of the victims put the total at 550,000 euros. According to a news report in The Brussels Times: The men were questioned and all gave similar statements. The woman promised a longterm relationship, but it never came to that. According to public prosecutor Poelmans, there also weren't any sexual relations. "The victims had to undergo an std-test first, or she would find another excuse." According to the …
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After divorcing one diagnosed narcissist, marrying another one
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Cathy19. Names have been changed. To start my ex husband was clinically diagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with sociopath tendencies and OCD (random I know but wanted to be thorough). I had five years of marriage and two kids with him. Almost ten years later I'm still dealing with him but distance between us geographically has helped. On the downside I remarried, which is how the geographical divide came about. After six months in court being attacked from all angles by the ex in an effort to stop the move, it turns out the good guy I thought I knew and had now married...was undeniably …
After divorcing one diagnosed narcissist, marrying another oneRead More