How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

Love Fraud book excerpt: Discovering the truth of my sociopathic husband’s lies

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Between now and the end of the year, I will publish excerpts from my first book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I posted some excerpts earlier in the year. To start the series from the beginning, read: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I'd discovered the shocking truth — my husband, James Montgomery, not only cheated on me. He had a child with another woman during our marriage. And that was just the one of his betrayals … What else did James do? How many women were there? The questions in my mind multiplied exponentially. Maybe my husband’s office—his audacious lair right in my home—held answers. For more than …

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Despite my education, I knew nothing about sociopaths, says ob/gyn doctor

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call, "drsusan." I am a 60 year old retired OB/Gyn MD. I was married for 20 years to a man who turned out to be a narcissist. Despite my education I knew nothing about these types of people or the co-dependency phenomenon in which I was enmeshed. We share 3 sons. I became aware that he was a narcissist in 2000, when one of my patients who knew him casually mentioned it to me. He had recently shocked me by telling me he wanted a divorce, and once I began researching things, saw that his controlling and bullying behavior were signs of narcissism. As the divorce progressed I became aware of all the …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: My marriage to the sociopath was over

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Earlier this year, I published excerpts from my first book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Between now and the end of the year, I'll publish some more. To start the series from the beginning, read: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I discovered proof that my husband, James Montgomery, was cheating on me. In fact, he'd had a child with another woman. Finally, I could leave. The marriage was over. But at that moment, my soon-to-be ex-husband was on his way to my home, the home that I paid for, in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I couldn’t let him know what I had discovered. I didn’t know what he would do, and I didn’t want …

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On Thanksgiving 2019, the energy of gratitude

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  One of the most healing energies of the universe is gratitude. No matter what your situation, finding something to be grateful for can help you move forward. This may seem difficult, especially if you've recently discovered that you've been betrayed by a sociopath. But even under these circumstances, you can be grateful that you have finally learned the truth. My own experience with a sociopath was shattering. But one thing that was demolished was the wall I had built around myself. With that gone, I was able to move forward and find true love and companionship, and for that I am grateful. To all Lovefraud readers, thank you for your contributions to our collective …

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I was almost too brainwashed to believe his sociopathic behavior

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "refresh1." It was a random comment I made to a mutual friend that started the whole nightmare. I made a passing comment that this individual would be my 'end up with' guy... eventually one day we'd probably end up together - it was an off-the-cuff overly romanticised comment about a 'charmer' that had always tried to pursue me. I hadn't seen him for years and I was in a long term relationship of seven years with a nice guy at the time. She told him! Almost immediately the sociopath came into my life, turning up to where I worked, making excuses to come into the shop where I would serve him and he …

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder – Domestic Violence in Same Sex Relationships

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from an Australian women whom we'll call Sheila19. Speaking Up about the mental and physical abuse I endured from my last relationship in South Australia is not easy and has taken me some time to finally put into words. For several months during 2019 I lived in fear for my safety from a female Narcissist who was also a perpetrator of Domestic Violence towards me and, while I knew her, was a regular methamphetamine drug user. I had unfortunately been an acquaintance of hers spanning over 3 years. Due to fears that I would be physically targeted or my home attacked if I spoke up was a scary reality and this is exactly the …

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Video: To parents who must send their kids to spend time with a disordered ex

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  You left your partner because he or she is disordered. Unfortunately, you have kids together. So now, you must co-parent and send the kids to spend time with your ex — alone. Knowing the sociopath's abusive personality, you worry. And you wonder — what can you do to help them? Claudia Paradise, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist in New York City, helps parents like you all the time. So now, she is sharing her knowledge and experience with all Lovefraud parents who are in this situation in her upcoming webinar: Empowering the child who must spend time alone with a disordered parent Wednesday, November 20, 2019 • 7 to 9 pm ET • $50 Instructor: Claudia Paradise, LCSW-R This course …

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Sociopathic Abuse and Impaired Executive Functioning Skills  

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., BSC/MT What are executive functioning skills? As a behavioral therapist, I work with many clients who have impaired executive functioning skills. The term sounds pretty fancy and quite technical, but there is a simple explanation. The term executive functioning skills refer to a set of management skills that assist children and adults in achieving their goals through: prioritizing organizing remaining focused regulating emotions As children grow and become critical thinkers, it is necessary to be able to adapt to change and have the ability to revise strategies to reach personal, social and academic goals. What happens when executive …

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My experience in Jehovahs Witnesses: Rape, kidnapping, lost custody and homelessness

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Brenda." All names have been changed. My story is very, very long and sickening. I have not quite been able to write my timeline of events of abuse yet, until right at this moment. The pain of reminiscing to tell my story has been far too great to bear. I went from an independent strong young and beautiful young woman of 23, business owner since 18 years old, renting my own apartment, full time student, etc., to now owning NOTHING but clothes on my back. Living literally on the streets of California, 32 years old now. August 2018 I had an Antique 1910 Baby grand piano, a sewing career that I just …

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What a sociopath says, and what he really means (according to his ex)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the above screenshot and her explanation from the longtime reader, "Fleeing Deer." The picture above is a screenshot of my former spouse's FB post. He is attempting to recruit people for his multi-level-marketing Ponzi scheme.  He promises to teach people how to make 6 or 7 figure incomes. Here is my "re-interpretation" of his message: Let me tell you a tale of how I am a victim so that you will feel sad for me and have pity on me. Let me manufacture a life-changing moment because we all love redemption stories and I need you to believe I have grown, and changed, and learned from my mistakes – even though I am completely unable to do any of those …

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