How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

3 self-care steps to begin your recovery from narcissistic abuse

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If you have tangled with anyone who has an exploitative and manipulative personality disorder, you have endured narcissistic abuse. What, exactly, does that mean? Good question. "Narcissistic abuse" is not an official term listed in the bible of mental health, which is the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association). If you Google the term, you'll find the circular definition that narcissistic abuse is abuse inflicted by a narcissist. Mental health officialdom does not seem to have a good understanding of how these disordered individuals behave in romantic, family or other relationships. So looking for answers, we, the targets, have turned to the …

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I am already a better person having the narcissist out of my life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call, Laura20. Names are changed. Last year I opened a piece of mail that would change my life. I opened a credit card bill thinking it was mine, as my husband had all his bills sent to him electronically. As it turned out, his card had been compromised and before he could intercept it the bill came to our home address. On this bill there was a charge from Tiffany after Christmas. I did not receive anything from there, so I asked him about it. He told me a story to cover himself and said he returned it. I then waited a to see if the next bill came to the house to show the return. By then he had his bill back …

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Video: Mandy Friedman, LPCC, on Self-Care for Survivors

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https://youtu.be/qRH9C6E2w4g   If you feel confused, shocked and devastated during, or after, a relationship with a sociopath — according to Mandy Friedman, LPCC, you feel exactly like most victims. You may also feel angry, heartbroken, and like your entire self-concept has been shattered. Now what? How do you rebuild yourself? A critical step, Mandy says, is self-care. That's exactly what she will teach you in her upcoming webinar. For more information, and to sign up, go to the link below. Mandy will give her presentation, and then answer your questions. Self-Care for Survivors Presented by Mandy Friedman, LPCC, CCDVC Thursday, January 23, 8 - 9 pm ET • $25 More info …

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Sociopathic seduction: As long as it takes

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UPDATED FOR 2019 I confess. I am one of those people who fell for the sociopathic seduction. I was swept up in the excitement, sex and love bombing by the sociopath and committed to the relationship far too quickly. James Montgomery proposed to me four days after we met in person. I said yes. I sometimes excuse myself by explaining that we'd been corresponding via e-mail for about a month after meeting online, so it wasn't like I only knew him for four days. But then, of course, a month isn't very long either. I take some comfort in the fact that I am certainly not alone. Many, many people describe the beginning of their relationship with a sociopath as a "whirlwind romance." In …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: Plotting with the other woman to learn the truth about my husband

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Earlier this year, I started publishing small excerpts from my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. To start reading this series from the beginning, go to: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen My husband, James Montgomery, was having an affair with Sylvia Banning. After I found the courage to call her, and learned that Montgomery had swindled her as well, we started working together to get our money back. Every day, several times a day, Sylvia Banning and I spoke on the phone. Asking each other questions, telling each other what we experienced, we started to unravel the tangled web of James Montgomery’s lies. James …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: What I learned when I called the other woman

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Earlier this year, I started publishing small excerpts from my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. To start reading this series from the beginning, go to: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I had discovered that my husband, James Montgomery, was cheating on me. But what else was he doing? I had to know the truth. A phone bill arrived in the mail for James’ voice mail account—an account I didn’t know he had. I opened it and found call after call from someone in Pennsylvania. The phone number matched the one printed on the receipt for my husband’s new Gateway computer, under the name Sylvia Banning. The evening of …

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How childhood pain leads to involvements with sociopaths

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  Updated for 2019 Lovefraud recently received this letter from a woman whom we'll call "Nina." I'm posting Nina's story because many Lovefraud readers have told me of similar patterns in their lives. I love this man like I've never loved before. He seemed to be my soul mate.  I have had two failed marriages (no sex in them). I was touched by a neighbour starting when I was 10 and it continued for eight years. My father was totally controlling and I was not allowed friends or to go anywhere except to this neighbour. Both were depressed parents and did not show affection, only criticism. I have always felt alone but now am — parents dead, sister dead within last four years. …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: How my sociopathic husband ripped off the wife before me

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Earlier this year, I started publishing small excerpts from my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. To start reading this series from the beginning, go to: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen After I left my sociopathic husband, James Montgomery, I went through all the correspondence he left scattered around his office in my home. I found letters from the family of his deceased wife, whom he married before me. James certainly didn’t bother to make the family of his deceased wife whole. Instead, my husband ripped them off. James told me that Gale Lewis suffered a sudden heart attack. It happened on May 17, 1996, …

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A Lovefraud reader’s happy ending

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Updated for 2019 — a reminder to everyone that there can be love after the sociopath. Several years ago, Lovefraud heard from a reader whom we called "Rochelle." After 30 years, she'd reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. It felt like her chance to finally have the love she always wanted. Except that the boy, now a man, was a sociopath, and the love was a mirage. Rochelle knew he was disordered, but still she pined for him. She asked, "When does it get to the point where he stops taking up space in my brain?" Here's her story: Getting the sociopath out of your head She later wrote a Letter to Lovefraud detailing her experience: How sociopaths twist words and …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: Discovering the truth of my sociopathic husband’s lies

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Between now and the end of the year, I will publish excerpts from my first book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I posted some excerpts earlier in the year. To start the series from the beginning, read: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I'd discovered the shocking truth — my husband, James Montgomery, not only cheated on me. He had a child with another woman during our marriage. And that was just the one of his betrayals … What else did James do? How many women were there? The questions in my mind multiplied exponentially. Maybe my husband’s office—his audacious lair right in my home—held answers. For more than …

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