I'm not sure what my husband is?maybe someone could shed some light

E I met my husband on line and that was 10 years ago. He persuade me, I had just moved, was just going through a divorce and had a young daughter. My previous husband was not sociopath or a psychopath. Our romance was a whirlwind, he fell quick and so did I. He charmed the pants off of me, at first he would come in my life and disappear for about 3 months but alway sweet as could be when he showed back up. The third month he told me he had a gf and they broke up.I became pregnant quickly, he wanted a baby and he sweet talked me into it. I had a great job and had my head on straight, I went to college and I lived a nice lifestyle for a single mom. He always hated my job because I worked around mostly men, I am a loyal and devoted person and could never live with the quilt of cheating. He would accuse me of cheating it got to the point where I stopped having guy friend it wasnt worth it to fight. When I met my husband he was up front with me and told me he had a crazy ex gf who accused him of rape, he had to go to court and with him we both decided it would be best to plead guilty. He said she was mad because he left her so she accused of rape because she was mad and crazy. I believed him and I still kinda do, I think that was her only way out… As sad as it seems. I stood by him on court dates even though I just met him. I believed in him and I wanted to help him, I truly felt I was meant to meet him. He was sentenced to 18 months and I was pregnant, but I stuck by him visited him 2 times a week every week. It was hard esp when the baby came and I also had a 6 year old. I had alot of support from my family and his. I think his parents were so happy he met a nice girl. During his stay in jail we planned our future, we had arguments bit it was small ones… No big deal. I encouraged him to take classes in jail and he did. We decided when he got out I would have saved enough money to out a down payment on a house and we would get married. When he first got out he got a job and I bought the house and then we got married a few months later. That’s when it went down hill… My oldest daughter looked to him as a father figure and we had some challenges because it wasn’t her dad but he was hard on her. He told me he was from an abusive family, esp his mom. Over time anytime I have a problem it was met with disgust… Like I was bothering him. Anytime I would want to talk about an issue with him he would direct it at me and twist my words and times things happened. He would become angry so angry he would say terrible things about me personally about my appearance … Like I was ugly and pick at me. He also would take the things I trusted him with and hurt me with them. For example my dad passed away suddenly and I didn’t have a good relationship with him and one day he made fun of me saying I had daddaddy daughter issues, that was the day my dad died. I usually wouldn’t say anything at first, he broke plates that my aunt had given to me before she died he knew how much they meant to me. He has destroyed my house holes in the wall from punching ripping doors off the hinges. He knew right where to get me. Our arguments would last for hours and we would send the kids outside. The kids know what he is all about, they are not stupid but they play the game with him and agree with him when he is degrading me Infront of them. For example he told them I cheat on him, I have never. He on the other hand tells me he has cheated on me during arguments, after the argument is done and settled after all hell broke loose he told me he just said that to hurt me. I did catch him talking to another woman through a text message, he said he did it because he can’t talk to me. I always am paranoid he will cheat. He stays out late always has an excuse why he was late, it’s usually to help someone. He cannot even help his family!!! I always felt pushed on the “back burner” I can count on two hands how many dates we have been on… After begging for time with him. Slowly I stopped letting him speak to me the way he was. I started to figure out how his brain worked and and I started giving it back at him… He called me a name I called him one too but I didn’t like being that way. I felt like that was when I lost myself… Who am I playing his games? He would throw things and destroy the house I never did that. He always destroyed what meant the most to me, so I stopped saying if I liked things. I wouldn’t even have friends over or even mentioning friends because I was afraid he would cause drama. So I did nothing at all except work, take care of the kids and clean laundry take kids to functions all that stuff. He has rarely helped me with any kind of chore. Bit he wanted to be the “man of the house” he didn’t act like it and he didn’t like me telling him that. One day I thought I’m going to give him exactly what he has given me and he did not like it one bit. As soon as I fought back he would tell me I’m cold and mean. I am a very considerate person and I used to be pretty darn happy go lucky. O told him I wanted a divorce in May, he quit his job a year ago and has not even looked actively for a new one. I took a great promotion the month he quit and we agreed he would work part time to pursue a hobby of his he wanted make into a business, I told him I would help as much as I could bit I supported him. He never did it and I had to step down from my position because I worked long hours and nothing was getting done around the house my 15 year old Tok on the responsibility of mom all while he could be on Facebook all day and night pretty much and ignoring the girls. The only time he pay attention to them is when he is mad at me, something he accused me of. He has it so stuck in his head I’m a terrible person .I am not I love my girls, I have kept the same job I had since I met him and take on my daily responsibilities, all while he sits on the couch all day and does pretty much nothing. Nothing bit false promises of new job leads and things he is going to do around the house, he does nothing. The final straw came when my car broke down and he kept telling me don’t get a new car til I go with you, I saved up the down payment for the car, I take on all the finances in the home while he claims he is depressed and can’t get motivated. In May I went and bought my own car on my own not out of spite like he thought just because I needed a reliable car to travel to work. Everyday I would ask and just like everything else he pushes it to the side for Facebook or his friends. I told him I wanted a divorce at first acted like I never said it… Like everything was fine. I had to start to ignore him and push away, I think k it just happened naturally because I cannot deal with the emotional roller coaster and the abuse anymore. I want myself back, I miss my old self. It’s certainly not fair to my kids at all they didn’t ask for this. I don’t talk to any of my family because I stood up for my husband because I thought that I what I should but he also tells me constantly I never have his back. I’m tired of him he makes me sick mostly. I just want him gone peacefully. He stays out all night and comes and goes as he pleases and blames that on me too… That I don’t make him feel welcomed. I want to start my life I want to be me all the time, I do have his parents they support me through alot bit don’t know really what is going on. They just see he treats me wrong.