Sociopaths do not believe that the rules apply to them. They do not fight fair. Therefore, if you choose to fight a sociopath, or if you have no choice but to fight a sociopath, your own fighting style will need to become aggressive as well. If you're a nice person, if you typically want to do what's fair for everyone involved — well, that doesn't work with a sociopath. A sociopath's objective is not to be fair. It's to win, and possibly annihilate you in the process. To survive the battle, you'll need to act in a way that is probably contrary to your nature. It will be uncomfortable, but necessary. First decision — do you fight? Here's the first and most important decision: Do …
Many police officers, courts and child protective services know nothing about sociopaths. Understand the blindness, so you can plan a path forward.
20 Issues to consider before taking a sociopath to court
UPDATED FOR 2025. If you share children with a sociopath, you may have seen the other parent be negligent, or even abusive, toward the kids. Concerned for their wellbeing, you may be thinking about going to court to reduce his or her access. Is this a good idea? Today I’m going to explain 20 issues that you should seriously consider before taking a sociopath to court. Lovefraud once received the following email: I was previously married to a sociopath, and we have a 4-year old son together. I have sole legal and physical custody of our son, but have been fighting to reduce the amount of visitation for quite some time. I recently read that having a forensic p …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Tips for co-parenting with a sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call “Penny.” She's been in a custody battle with the father of her child, who she believes is a sociopath. Although Penny has been able to gain full physical and legal custody of the child, and has a restraining order against the father, he still has visitation so Penny must deal with child exchanges. She's provided the following tips for others who are in similar situations. 1. Stay strong in God! I know that this is difficult at times because I myself have been tried so much. Go to church regularly and tell the pastor(s) and counselors at your church what you are dealing with and ask them and the con …
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Sociopathy is not illegal, so how do we deal with wrongdoing?
All sociopaths lie. Their objective in just about every social interaction is to exploit and manipulate whoever is in front of them. Yet even though their behavior is atrocious, unethical and immoral, sociopathy is not illegal. People aren’t arrested because they have a personality disorder. So when we’ve been wronged by someone whom we believe is disordered, how do we deal with it? Sociopaths definitely cause harm, but some harm is “actionable,” to use a legal term, and some isn’t. What that means is some behavior can be subjected to legal consequences, and other behavior cannot. When we’ve been wronged by a sociopath, we need to evaluate what response is possible, and what is in our own be …
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If lawmakers understood sociopaths, maybe Keaira Bennefield would still be alive
The tragic story of Keaira Bennefield might never have happened if lawmakers had a clear understanding of sociopaths. Perhaps you’ve seen the story in the news. Keaira Bennefield, of Cheektowaga, New York, near Buffalo, was estranged from her husband, Adam Bennefield. On September 28, 2022, he allegedly showed up at her apartment and beat her, punching her at least 28 times. Keaira had security cameras inside her home and the whole episode was captured on video. Keaira screamed for Adam’s sister, Rachel, who lived in the apartment upstairs. Rachel came down and Adam told her that Keaira wasn’t getting out of there alive. Rachel called the police. When the police arrived, they found A …
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Traumatized again by family court cross-examination
Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she explains how abusive family court cross-examination affects people who are already traumatized. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. In 2019 the Australian family law act was amended so that perpetrators of family violence can no longer cross-examine their ex-partners in court. Instead cross-examination must now be conducted by a legal representative of the party. This is a great step forward in the fight to protect family violence survivors from being re-traumatised. But does it go far enough? Family violence and the …
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How explicit and implicit memory are affected by family violence
Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she explains how explicit and implicit memory are affected by family violence. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. Have you ever gone to collect your car keys and been completely clueless as to where you put them? Or spent ages searching for your sunglasses only to find them perched on your head? These are lapses of our “explicit” memory: the conscious, intentional recollection of factual information, previous experiences and concepts. So that we can eat, ride bikes and get dressed every day without having to consciously rem …
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When divorcing a sociopath, can we learn from ostriches?
Editor's note: Lovefraud welcomes a new author, Attorney Caroline Parsons from Queensland, Australia. Today she explains that when divorcing a sociopath, putting your head in the sand may not be the best idea. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. Divorce is traumatic, even when it’s amicable. If you're divorcing a sociopath and the marriage was abusive, the impact is even more damaging to the psyche. There are a number of ways our brains adapt to trauma. We may numb the pain with alcohol or drugs, bury ourselves in work, dissociate, dissolve in anger or withdraw deep within to protect ourselves. Another …
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Parental alienation: My son’s sociopath father turned him against me
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about parental alienation from a reader whom we'll call, Jennifer20. Well I honestly wouldn’t know where to begin. People are always telling me I should write a book. Maybe one day I will, but I will start here. I was 17 and I was pregnant with my boyfriend of 3 months. My mother felt bad for me and my father was completely ashamed and embarrassed. I was young, naive, and really, really stupid. I didn’t realize the sociopath the father of my child really was until it was too late. I was about 8 months pregnant, scared, and in a very vulnerable state. I make decisions against my family’s advice and soon found myself regretting all …
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How to remain calm and collected during family court cross-examination
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/The7JfNwjF8"] If you will be facing an abusive ex during family court cross-examination, your emotional state is probably somewhere between apprehensive and terrified. You know how he or she twists the truth. You may have discovered that your ex's attorney is just as bad. But when they make unfounded accusations against you, will you be able to remain calm and collected so you can refute their lies? Yes — if you are prepared. Lovefraud's upcoming webinar will help you prepare: Take back your throne: Reclaim your power in family court cross-examination Presented by Attorney Caroline Solo Wednesday, March 18, 8 - 9 pm ET Thursday, March 19, 10 - 1 …
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Fotis Dulos, charged in wife’s murder, dead after suicide attempt
UPDATE for 2020 Fotis Dulos, charged with kidnapping and murder in his wife's disappearance, has died. He had been in critical condition due to carbon monoxide poisoning after an apparent suicide attempt. Read the article: Fotis Dulos, Connecticut man charged in wife Jennifer Dulos' murder, dead after suicide attempt, lawyer says, on Foxnews.com. Original Lovefraud story — June 5, 2019: Jennifer Dulos disappearance: Warning signs in the custody battle Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from New Canaan, Connecticut, has been missing since May 24, 2019. Since her blood was on clothing and sponges found in 30 garbage bags that her estranged husband, Fotis Dulos, was a …
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