Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Carmen21. After going back and forth with a man for many years, she learned that sociopaths do not change. I met J in 2006 at work. At the time, I was involved in a long-distance relationship with my first love of 8 years. I was attracted to J the moment I saw him. During a work conversation, J asked me what my story was. I had a feeling he already knew because everyone at work talked about how I can do better and couldn’t understand how I was so loyal to a long-distance relationship. J said he knew but wanted to hear it from me. I asked him if he was in a relationship. He said he was from Boston and moved …

Learning the hard way that sociopaths do not changeRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Sharon21. she met a guy online. While he lied, I paid, she said. Names are changed. Whew! This is hard to revisit! I’m still very much in the healing process. I have listened to so many books, I have read so much on Narcissism, it has consumed my life. Until I experienced what I did, Narcissist was just a word to me. I truly believe the Narc I was involved with could lead the pack! It was that bad. I’m an empath. Hands down. I’m educated. I’m professional. I hold a Management position with a large corporation. I spend my days, caring for and helping the elderly. I’m a single mom of 3 kids. I was with …

The six-month relationship: He lied, I paidRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, Marsha21. She believes her son is a sociopath, and describes his behavior from childhood to the present. Donna Andersen responds to her questions after her letter. I think my son is a sociopath. I say this with heaviness in my heart. Saying it out loud makes me sound like a terrible mother. I often chastise myself as to where I went wrong, how I could have done better, I take the blame. I’m still not entirely convinced that he is, but I do know there is something definitely wrong with him (his whole life). Even as a young child, I think he was manipulating me. Besides the “normal” things kids …

I think my son is a sociopathRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Thomas21.” He was amazed at how quickly he fell in love, and how quickly he was discarded. I met this girl via Tinder dating app. Her profile mentioned she was looking for friends. We have a big age gap. I thought why is she matching with me? It doesn’t make sense. First girl to match with me in a while. She immediately began the idealization phase. Love bombing me. My previous relationship was with a girl who had no emotions. Never complimented me. It was a breath of fresh air. She would often do the “we were made for each other” talk. I fell right into it. We were planning on coffee a few days …

She loved me, then she discarded meRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story of sociopathic harassment in an Episcopal Church, endured, amazingly, by one of the church’s leaders. Names are changed. My name’s Benjamin, and my same-sex spouse and I are the victims of a sociopath. Even worse, the sociopath is the priest who married us. My story begins with a well-known Episcopal church. When I arrived there in 2011, it was love at first sight. People were friendly and welcoming, and the church beautiful. Even better the rector, whom we’ll call Dave (not his real name), was personable and gave a great sermon. It wasn’t long before I was asked to run for the vestry, which is the board of directors in an …

Bullying and harassment in an Episcopal ChurchRead More

Editor’s note: Last year, Lovefraud published a letter from “Natalia20” entitled “The sociopathic singer and his many women.” She was with a guy for five years, and he was cheating with multiple women the entire time. Natalia20 has written to Lovefraud again with a question about her ex's fake persona. Although it has been more than a year since my break-up with my sociopathic bf of many years, I still have more and more thoughts coming. Highly spiritual man The latest one is this: I met a highly spiritual man who would start his day by Tarot card reading, always reading self-help or spiritual books, his flat full of crystals for protection/energies, burning incense, making rituals, …

Yes, sociopaths can create a totally fake personaRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about psychological abuse and coercive control from a reader whom we'll call Abigal21. Names and locations are changed. So, it was 2013, I met up with my friend for her birthday, she had invited her ‘friend’ a guy she sort of used to see. She said, can you hang out with David because he doesn’t know anyone here and it’s awkward because I am with my boyfriend … I said okay I guess …… I wasn’t in the best state of mind as I had recently broken up with a guy who was becoming abusive (I had a habit of attracting these guys … I now realize.). So David and I end up talking, exchange numbers and start dating. According to him he is single, …

My story of psychological abuse and coercive controlRead More

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains that we all have a little voice inside that will always guide us towards our best interest. It's our intuition — our connection to our divine spirit. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest You know that little voice inside? The one that seems to come from your guts when something just doesn't sit right? The one that is so easy to ignore? How many times have you kicked yourself for not having listened to it? How many times have you discovered, much to your chagrin, that it had been right? Yeah, I know. Loads. And how many times have you discovered that it was …

That Little Voice Inside Never LiesRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Abby21. She describes how, after the sociopath came into her life, she went from stability to homelessness. After my father’s death in 2000 is when I became involved with a sociopath. Now I can look back and clearly see my vulnerability and why I was targeted. I was 30 years old and at the age of 16 actually babysat for him and his second wife, who was the bridesmaid in his first wife’s wedding. He has two children by his first wife and he felt he had to marry because at 17 she became pregnant and three boys from his second wife who according to him cheated on him and that is why they divorced. But …

With the sociopath, I went from stability to homelessnessRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story of abuse and domestic violence from a young woman whom we’ll call “Kassandra21.” I became host to a parasitic sociopath that eventually entrapped me by getting me pregnant, abused my oldest child psychologically and physically and was eventually arrested. It all happened so fast that by the time I understood what was happening my life was a total train wreck. My vulnerabilities made me weaker due to my drug and alcohol use, I was way too accepting of people, loved to love people, yet was unloving to myself. I also had my own place, kids, a car and income, and also partied, did drugs and had meaningless sex encounters. I was …

I was trapped by sociopathic abuse and domestic violenceRead More