Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's note: Lovefraud previously published a letter from a reader whom we called "Bessy." It was entitled, "The only hope I have is that Karma exists." This is a follow-up letter from Bessy — she's not feeling any better. In my response, I suggest that she acknowledge the pain. My ex has not contacted me in 9 months and I know I should feel lucky, but I feel even more inadequate and unlovable than he made me feel back then. Why do I hear of boomerangs and "they always come back" stories and my phone is silent. Was "I" that bad??? I was vulnerable I think I was attracted and vulnerable in the first place because I was at a crossroads, facing losing my mother, a …

Recover from the sociopath by acknowledging the painRead More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received the following email from a reader. whom we'll call "Camille," who asks, why did I let my abusive ex back? When I was 16, I began a relationship with a guy that was 20. I met him through a mutual friend. We began a relationship that was volatile and tumultuous. I was a senior in high school. I would get out of school midday on a work program, but instead of going to work, I would go to his house. He would force me to have sex with him, steal from me, and physically abuse me. He would call me and apologize and I do not know why, but I would always go back. One day he called me and told me that he wanted to take me to eat at one of his friend's …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, after 20 years, did I let my abusive ex back into my life?Read More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Kurt21 about his father’s new wife. Therapists concluded that the woman was a pathological narcissist. My father is on his third wife “P.” I was opposed to their marriage due to the previous disastrous and expensive divorces. Just prior to their marriage Dad revealed to me the nature of his financial arrangements with P, and those arrangements mimic the community-property constraints that are setting him up for yet another expensive separation (should that occur). Why would he do that, and why would P (herself a two-time divorcee) accept such an arrangement? P is a licensed psychotherapist. Shortly af …

My father married a psychotherapist and pathological narcissistRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader whom we’ll call Trish21. She fell in love with a man who exploited her. Her frustration is that he will never get held accountable. I met my ex online dating. I was going through a very low point in my life I had experienced a loss that was very traumatic that had sent me in the self-destructive downward spiral. I was very vulnerable, more so than I had ever been in my entire life, and happen to meet this person online dating. I was just looking for hook up as well as that person. After that night that we hooked up, which was to be like a one time thing in my mind, he contacted me and we continue to talk and ended up seeing eac …

A Lovefraud reader laments: Sociopaths never get held accountableRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Sherry21. She lived with a man who terrified her, and then, through a hacker, discovered that he lived a double life. I was punished for food, he threatened to take my animal to animal control, he would take car keys away and spit in my face and verbal assault me on a daily bases, gaslighting me to the point I was thinking I was wrong, stolen my money, he would sleep in the pasture with bulls as we live in 865 acres on a working cattle farm. I lived like a mute. I couldn’t have an opinion nor could walk correctly, breathe the air without being at fault on everything. He would wake me up by shot guns. He …

I lived in pure terror — then I discovered his double lifeRead More

Lovefraud received an email from a woman whom we’ll call Clara2 about the bigamy committed by her husband. Names are changed. I was married on Nov. 3, 2007 to Lawrence Riley, three yrs older than me. We had dated a year prior to being married. During this time, I was diagnosed with breast cancer which he stood by my side during the process. When we got home from the hospital, one evening a girl called a burner phone which I had bought him after he was let go from his job. He needed a cell while out looking for other work. The girl claimed to be his wife. She told how after he and I had gotten into a fight he had come to her. They had stayed up all night drinking and having sex. The n …

Bigamy: My husband was married to three women at onceRead More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a man whom we'll call "Scott." Scott was involved with a woman who he now believes is a narcissist or sociopath. We'll call her "Valerie." Valerie had a son and told Scott that he was the father, although he had his doubts. The two split up, but Scott supported the boy for 18 years and was active in his life. Then Scott found out that he was not the boy's father, and Valerie is now doing everything she can to keep the boy away from Scott. A father's tragedy I claim you as my son. I claim you as only a father can! However, you don't claim me, the man who raised you. The first time I saw your face your …

A father writes: Open letter to my sonRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Verna21.” She’s a mental health counselor who was deceived by a psychopathic co-worker. I worked at the Department of Corrections as a mental health counselor. One of the officers targeted me after my grandmother died and after I had gone through two years of abuse trying to stay in D.O.C. after I stood up for myself and asked for a group of officers to be held accountable for their sexually inappropriate behaviors. D.O.C. would not be responsible and they made accusations against me and although I was told that there was no proof or evidence of any behaviors on my part, it didn't matter because the off …

Mental health counselor learns about psychopaths the hard wayRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Carmen21. After going back and forth with a man for many years, she learned that sociopaths do not change. I met J in 2006 at work. At the time, I was involved in a long-distance relationship with my first love of 8 years. I was attracted to J the moment I saw him. During a work conversation, J asked me what my story was. I had a feeling he already knew because everyone at work talked about how I can do better and couldn’t understand how I was so loyal to a long-distance relationship. J said he knew but wanted to hear it from me. I asked him if he was in a relationship. He said he was from Boston and moved …

Learning the hard way that sociopaths do not changeRead More