Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about psychological abuse and coercive control from a reader whom we'll call Abigal21. Names and locations are changed. So, it was 2013, I met up with my friend for her birthday, she had invited her ‘friend’ a guy she sort of used to see. She said, can you hang out with David because he doesn’t know anyone here and it’s awkward because I am with my boyfriend … I said okay I guess …… I wasn’t in the best state of mind as I had recently broken up with a guy who was becoming abusive (I had a habit of attracting these guys … I now realize.). So David and I end up talking, exchange numbers and start dating. According to him he is single, …

My story of psychological abuse and coercive controlRead More

Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains that we all have a little voice inside that will always guide us towards our best interest. It's our intuition — our connection to our divine spirit. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest You know that little voice inside? The one that seems to come from your guts when something just doesn't sit right? The one that is so easy to ignore? How many times have you kicked yourself for not having listened to it? How many times have you discovered, much to your chagrin, that it had been right? Yeah, I know. Loads. And how many times have you discovered that it was …

That Little Voice Inside Never LiesRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Abby21. She describes how, after the sociopath came into her life, she went from stability to homelessness. After my father’s death in 2000 is when I became involved with a sociopath. Now I can look back and clearly see my vulnerability and why I was targeted. I was 30 years old and at the age of 16 actually babysat for him and his second wife, who was the bridesmaid in his first wife’s wedding. He has two children by his first wife and he felt he had to marry because at 17 she became pregnant and three boys from his second wife who according to him cheated on him and that is why they divorced. But …

With the sociopath, I went from stability to homelessnessRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story of abuse and domestic violence from a young woman whom we’ll call “Kassandra21.” I became host to a parasitic sociopath that eventually entrapped me by getting me pregnant, abused my oldest child psychologically and physically and was eventually arrested. It all happened so fast that by the time I understood what was happening my life was a total train wreck. My vulnerabilities made me weaker due to my drug and alcohol use, I was way too accepting of people, loved to love people, yet was unloving to myself. I also had my own place, kids, a car and income, and also partied, did drugs and had meaningless sex encounters. I was …

I was trapped by sociopathic abuse and domestic violenceRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call, “Molly.“ She, unfortunately, met a sociopath who cheats internationally. I met this guy online. In a week he had booked his flight from Scotland to see me in Ireland. He told me I was exactly what he was looking for. At 47 he had already been married and divorced twice and had an 18 year old son. He had a highflying job going to work via helicopter so it was all very romantic. He claimed to have depression and anxiety. The day my mum died instead of coming to her funeral he flew his other woman to Barcelona to a 4-star hotel for 5 days over Valentine's. When he got back 5 days later, he finished …

Highflying sociopath who cheats internationallyRead More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the  Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Shanmoo." This article was originally published in 2014, but the message is timeless.  Shanmoo wanted to know if the guy she dated is a jerk or a sociopath. Donna Andersen's comments follow the letter. I can't believe I've had to come back here after five years. I had a spath boyfriend in 2008-2009, and spent many a night on this site. However, I did move forward, and I believed I had dealt with all the issues, karma and justice happened and in fact I met a decent guy. Unfortunately we went our separate ways because of my illness, at that time. My relationship with …

Is this man insecure, a jerk or a sociopath?Read More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from the reader Runfree51. With her ex, she says, the sex was odd. After they split he was charged with assault and rape. I met the father of my boy on a dating site. I was 43 and he was 49. Everything happened very fast, we met after chatting for a week, and he moved in a few weeks later. I don't see myself as stupid or anything but I allowed it to happen, him moving in. I saw red flags but I was having such a lovely time, I thought I could handle it. The arrangement for him to move in was clear, that it was more for the financial reason as we hardly knew each other so if it didn't work out romantically, or anyway, he would just …

The sex was odd; then he was charged with assault and rapeRead More

Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Constance21" about the man she dated — a gorgeous guy who led a double life. I met my partner at age 31, just when I'd almost given upon finding true love. He checked all the boxes and then some. I gloated with pride whenever people asked if he had any brothers or friends like him. Tall, 6-pack, former college athlete, millionaire parents, corporate finance executive, dressed like he stepped out from a page of GQ, quiet, no known vices, never been married and had no kids, and lastly had a soft spot for rescue dogs. Too good to be true you say? Had I known then what I know now, I'd be $50,000 richer and wouldn't …

I dated an athletic, rich, gorgeous guy who led a double lifeRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story by a reader whom we'll call, "Cindy21." She was with a man who manipulated and swindled her for 10 years, and she is embarrassed about falling for his lies. My story runs the course of 10 years. It involves two cancers, a motor vehicle accident, MS and much heartache. He stole my home and had me finance a business that I was 95% owner to 5% and when my daughter was critically ill and I had no money he threw me out. He said if I didn't sign a contract for $60,000 to buy me out of a home I had over $100,000 and a business that at the time was grossing 300,000, that as he put "If you don't do it you get nothing b*tch." Over the …

I am embarrassed about falling for his liesRead More