For children of sociopaths

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., CCBP, BC In my last article, I described how I’m using the “empty chair technique” to help a client, Mary, get closure about her disordered, but deceased, father. Here we have a continuation of the empty chair technique with Mary and her father. Mary finished the last session telling her father that she is finished trying to reason with unreasonable people. In this second session, Mary picks up where she left off. She wants to discuss her abusive mother. Mary’s father makes a choice too Joanie: Mary, you told your father you are done reasoning with unreasonable people. You told him you made a choice. Did he agree with your choice? Mary: No, by his silence, …

Coming to terms with an abusive mother and an indifferent fatherRead More

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED BSC/MT “Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire”—St. Katherine of Siena Admitting abuse, especially by a family or family member, is extremely difficult. Families are supposed to be safe havens where you are loved unconditionally and respected as an individual. Being treated poorly is not normal. Those who are abused in families tend to make excuses for the abusers, especially abusive parents. To come to terms that abuse is taking place in your family is to admit the unthinkable, that you were never loved. So how can know you are part of a narcissistic family? What happens in a narcissistic family that makes it abusive? Please …

Growing up in a narcissistic family—is it abuse?Read More

When she discovered her father, who had always been her hero, had been conducting extramarital affairs for decades, Jasmin Rosemberg, wondered if she had inherited his traits. A journalist, she wrote about her fears on LennyLetter.com: "What if I'd inherited his inability to commit, his desire to win and dominate other people rather than connect, his incapacity to truly feel and love?" The pain of her discovery, she writes, quite possibly saved her. Following in a sociopathic parent's path, on LennyLetter.com.     …

Learning that her father was a lying, cheating sociopathRead More

By Eleanor Cowan In our family of ten children, our main objective was not to recognize the gross abnormalities of how we were treated, but to quell them. When a storm erupted, we’d leap into action. Unpredictable rages meant that we, Mother’s children, speedily grouped to control the situation and do as needed to quiet her distress and end the drama. Lightning-fast signals fired between us: “Storm clouds overhead,” I’d say, or “Hurricane Warning!” If Mother was revving up for a full-scale crackdown, “Earthquake! Earthquake!” would be whispered as we gathered our younger siblings to dash outside or hide in the basement. Usually, one of us would front the voluble outrage, the insults and s …

Quelling is not coping — how my siblings and I dealt with our sociopathic motherRead More

Psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists are incapable of love — even for their own children. According to Business Insider, Perpetua Neo, a psychologist who specializes in these personality disorders, says: "Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy. They do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone." Neo says that some of her clients were told by their disordered parents that, "The only reason I had you was so you could take care of me for the rest of your life." Why psychopaths cannot love their own children, according to a psychologist, on BusinessInsider.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

Pawns: How psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists view their kidsRead More