Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains that everything in life changes. Then she offers you the secret for how to cope with change when it happens in your life. Read more about Liberty. It always amazes me to consider the wide range of emotions that the word "change" can evoke. Even without context, some people absolutely love it, relishing a new adventure, the next challenge, or an opportunity to expand themselves or their lives in some way. And then there are those people who dread it. They fear it more than almost anything else and do not know how to cope with change. But of course, …
With a sociopath, you can’t just “get over it.” You need to commit yourself to your emotional recovery. Some of these articles are sure to resonate with you.
Real hope, false hope and sociopaths
Sociopaths promise to make your hopes and dreams come true. It’s their most insidious seduction strategy. Yet when their promises crash and burn — as they inevitably will — real hope is the emotional force that can help you overcome the betrayal. Real hope Hope isn’t just wishful thinking. New research shows that hope is a powerful emotional force that directly fosters a sense of meaning. After you discover the lies, when you’re trying to escape and recover from a sociopath, hope is the sense that a better future is possible. Traditionally, psychology researchers have tied hope to goal-setting and motivation. But Megan Edwards, lead author of the University of Missour …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are you seeing someone else?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Adelle.” The sociopath asked, "Are you seeing someone else?" Here's her answer. A little over a month after leaving an abusive relationship and refusing to have any type of communication with him, he asks if I'm seeing someone else, as if that would be the only way I could get over him, or as if after such a hurricane of a relationship anyone would be inspired to move right into another. Could it be that I finally opened my eyes, that I finally picked myself up from the floor along with my self-esteem? As I walked the other day, I pondered on that question, “Are you seeing someone else?” I'd like to answer tha …
10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath
Escaping sociopaths (or antisocials, narcissists, and psychopaths) can be tricky. Some disordered partners are violent, but even when they’re not, they’re typically skilled at controlling you through emotional or psychological intimidation, making it hard for you to leave. If sociopaths sense you are pulling away, they will either charm and love bomb you until you change your mind or lash out and make your situation worse. Therefore, your objective is to escape before your sociopathic partner realizes what you are doing. 10 crucial strategies for leaving Here are 10 crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath that will help you get away — and stay away. 1. Keep your mouth s …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speaking
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who uses the name "DamselflyNOTdistressed." She writes about her nervous breakdown that was her sanity speaking. OCTOBER 24, 2012 - That was the one-year anniversary of my breakup from a SPath and the "nervous breakdown" that followed. My body and life at that moment felt viscerally like the total collapse of everything I thought I knew about myself. It was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of my life. And I am grateful — it was my sanity speaking. It had only been five months, and what a grand rollercoaster ride! We were fellow bohemians, and we met as nude models in a grand tableau vivant performance by an e …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Filippa." She found relief by letting go of monetary justice — even though she was entitled to it. I've been reading Lovefraud for years. I've also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, "I'll show you how to screw over an ex-wife." Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out — releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to man …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Losing the fear of What Ifs
Editor's Note: This is another email from the Lovefraud reader whom we're calling “Adelle.” She previously contributed, Are you seeing someone else? This time she relates the freedom that comes with losing the fear of What Ifs. I finally left my SP and like the alka-seltzer commercial used to say, “Oh what a relief it is.” My decision to leave was made a long time ago. Today I thought to myself, “Why didn't I do this sooner?” I didn't do it sooner because of fear, of course. I had so many “What Ifs?” I never questioned whether it was in my best interest, I knew it was. The “What Ifs?” were in reference to him. What if he contacts my friends and tries to make me look bad? What if he …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Email to self – do not go back to the disordered partner!
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as “Duped no more!" She wanted to remind herself why she should not go back to the disordered partner {A brief definition of my breaking NC, after almost 9 months, and a brief explanation of the experience and what I would say if I had to explain it to someone else. I had to send it to myself because there is nobody else but you who would understand} "I went back for you, with my heart in my hand and you just devoured it with no care nor consceince." Nothing has changed; don't listen no more; don't go back! This is it. I have seen and heard what I needed to and now it's time to move forward once a …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopath
Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader "Adelle." It's a thank you note to the sociopath who targeted her. You'll see why. To the sociopath: I just want to thank you for all the things you do that keep me away from you! Had you not done those things or continue to do them, I may have thought you'd changed. You know we here at Lovefraud sometimes give you sociopaths too much credit! You guys are not as bright and slick as we think you are. You keep doing the things that confirm who and what you are. If you would just walk away, respect and accept the fact that you have been dumped, maybe you could fool us again into thinking you have an ounce of dignity. …
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My heart felt full in Italy: A sign of recovery
I just spent two and a half wonderful weeks in Italy with my husband, Terry Kelly. We gave ourselves the trip for our 20th wedding anniversary. It was the trip of a lifetime, and multiple times in the first few days I said to Terry, “I can’t believe we’re here.” The art was astonishing, the food was delicious, and the people were warm and friendly. The entire time, my heart felt full. It was a feeling that I hope all Lovefraud readers can experience, even after a run-in with a sociopath. Rome, Naples and Sicily We spent five days in Rome, five days in Naples and five days in Acireale, Sicily. In Rome we saw the major sites — the Colosseum, Vatican Museum, Sistin …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Layers of shame and guilt
UPDATED FOR 2025. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who is herself a mental health professional about the layers of shame and guilt that she feels. Names have been changed. The sociopath has an amazing ability to determine who can be manipulated or is vulnerable. When I separated from my sociopath, I had to recognize how I was conditioned as a child to be trusting and compliant. I was rewarded when I took care of others; my parents wanted a kind child. Their shaping was successful and I care very well for others. What I lacked was the ability to care for myself and to discern who deserved my care, who would return the love and respect that I gave. Lack …