Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains how to know if a person in your life is dysfunctional or a sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest I want to look at the dynamics of a particular issue that is at the heart of relationships with sociopaths. That issue is control. It's also at the heart of many relationships that although dysfunctional, are not toxic to the point of being abusive and dangerous to one's overall wellbeing. Put it this way: All sociopaths are controllers, but not all controllers are sociopaths. So before I dive into this big topic, don't panic and immediately think that …
Sociopaths are fundamentally incapable of being supportive partners or loving parents. So what do you do, especially when there are children involved?
Why psychopathic parents engage in parental alienation
For years, the conventional wisdom in the mental health field was that psychopathic parents abandon their children. If this is true, why do some psychopaths fight to keep their children away from the other parent? Why do they engage in parental alienation to pry the children away? Or why do they accuse the other parent of alienating them from the children? Lovefraud’s Dr. Liane Leedom led a research team a few years ago to examine the parenting behavior of psychopaths. Data are hard to come by — psychopaths often blend into society, and their children can’t articulate what they are experiencing. So Dr. Leedom took a creative approach to gathering data — the team read the memoirs of people wh …
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Grandparents can also engage in parental alienation
Parental alienation, according to Joan Kloth-Zanard, founder of PAS-Intervention.org, is one parent deliberately impeding the relationship between children and their other parent. It’s a form of psychological abuse, Kloth-Zanard says. In fact, she describes parental alienation as domestic violence by proxy. This usually occurs within the context of divorce and child custody battles. Alienating behaviors include teaching the child to fear, hate or be angry with the other parent, deliberately blocking visitation, and filing false claims of abuse or neglect. When this happens, the targeted parent may have no choice but to go to court to fight the charges and reclaim their relationship with t …
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Her father felt sorry for her sociopathic ex
By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., CCBP, BC In my last two articles, I described how I’m using the “empty chair technique” to help a client, Mary, get closure about her disordered, but deceased, father. She wanted to know why her father felt sorry for her sociopathic ex. Read the previous articles: Empty chair technique to resolve issues with deceased father Coming to terms with an abusive mother and an indifferent father Here we have a continuation of the empty chair technique with Mary and her father. Mary finished the last session discussing how she was infantilized and abused by her mother. In this third session, Mary confronts her father about his relationship with her ex-hus …
Psychopathy can run in families – a possible warning for you
UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received the following request in an email that brings up a scary truth: psychopathy can run in families. My husband's psychopathy was never diagnosed as far as I know, but some years after we married and her second suicide attempt that I knew of, he told me his mother had been diagnosed as a psychopathic manic depressive. Maybe you could give your readers 'a heads up and how to' on finding out as much as possible about the in-laws' medical conditions before marriage, better yet sound them out before becoming emotionally entangled? This is a great suggestion, so thank you to this Lovefraud reader. Here's my basic advice: Understand that psychopathy can run …
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How To Handle Toxic Family and Friends
Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, offers suggestions on how to handle toxic family and friends. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest If you've landed here at LoveFraud, chances are that you're reeling from the pain and disruption of a toxic relationship or upbringing. Or both. Sociopaths and the fallout of abusive relationships can cause a ripple effect that's more like a tidal wave that trashes your life in too many ways to count. And it can go on for many years. Once your self-esteem and self-worth have taken a beating, your choices are adversely affected, as are your connections with people in …
Sociopathic manipulation in divorce and child support
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Sally21.” She tells a typical story (unfortunately) of sociopathic manipulation in divorce and child support. I have been divorced for 5 years, was in relationship with N/S (narcissistic sociopath) for over 20 years and it took me at least 10 to find the courage to leave and start over. I have always been very outspoken, intellectual, and fearless. I came from a dysfunctional background but did extensive counseling to become healthy AND pursued educational degree last in both Psychology and Sociology. To no avail...I still married a N/S. I knew from the beginning something was wrong. There were 2 (t …
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Malicious Parent Syndrome and sociopathic behavior
By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., CCBP, BC I’m a mental health practitioner, and while researching family therapy journals for research on cognitive behavioral therapy approaches, I came across a concept called the "Malicious Parent Syndrome.” It described how some divorcing and already divorced parents actively work to turn their children against the other parent. It sounded very much like how sociopaths engage in parental alienation. Characteristics of malicious parent syndrome The concept of Malicious Parent Syndrome was developed between 1995 and 1999 by a psychologist named Ira Turkat, who specialized in family law disputes, false allegations and relationship poisoning. His 1999 art …
What does a healthy relationship look like?
Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she poses questions to help you determine if you have a healthy relationship — with a partner and with yourself. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. There’s a litmus test question for determining whether you are in an abusive relationship. Have you ever asked yourself, “Is this what marriage/love/living together is supposed to be like?” We all have issues with our partners from time to time. Two independent adults living together will always cause a certain amount of friction. Most of us accept a level of give and take in our …
Warn your children about people who enjoy taking from others
Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she suggests that one way to protect your children is to warn them about people who enjoy taking from others. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. There’s a game played by primary school children in the Middle East. Each child is given a bucket and a number of blank slips of paper. The child is encouraged to write kind descriptive words (such as “friendly”, “caring” or “smart”) on these slips of paper. They all then go around the classroom, placing these words into other children’s buckets. The teacher asks how everyone is fee …
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When you feel the snap, it’s time to escape the toxic relationship
Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she explains how many family violence survivors feel the snap — they're done with the abuse and they're leaving. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. A common but antiquated question in the family violence debate (using gendered language for historical accuracy) is “why didn’t she leave?” Answers include that he convinced her the problems were her fault and he promised to change. Clearly the more important question then is, “why did he abuse her?” But that is the topic of another post. In my view, the better question to be as …
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