How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths

Sociopaths are fundamentally incapable of being supportive partners or loving parents. So what do you do, especially when there are children involved?

Psychopathy can run in families – a possible warning for you

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Lovefraud recently received the following request in an email: My husband's psychopathy was never diagnosed as far as I know, but some years after we married and her second suicide attempt that I knew of, he told me his mother had been diagnosed as a psychopathic manic depressive. Maybe you could give your readers 'a heads up and how to' on finding out as much as possible about the in-laws' medical conditions before marriage, better yet sound them out before becoming emotionally entangled? This is a great suggestion, so thank you to this Lovefraud reader. Here's my basic advice: Understand that psychopathy can run in families. So if you see or hear about bad or disturbing behavior by …

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Translating a sociopath’s attempts to hoover his ex-wife via text, part 2

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Editor's note: Once again, the Lovefraud reader "Maura" analyzes a sociopath's texts to her friend as he tries to hoover her back into a relationship. Read Maura's previous translation of the sociopath's hoovering. Introduction — sociopathic hoovering This is another text that my friend Annie was sent from her sociopathic ex. Four years ago, after a 17-year marriage, he abandoned her and their sons for his new flame from Craig’s list. Once again, on the surface his text seems genuinely caring and that he is truly motivated to mend his ways. However, he is a sociopath and he’s simply toying and baiting her. We’ve analysed all the standard sociopathic ploys he flips through to get a …

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Claudia Paradise, LCSW: How to talk to kids about an absent daddy

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Lovefraud received the following question: Can you address absent sociopathic fathers and how to respond to a young child who has begun asking about him? My 4-year-old has started talking about her “daddy,” who she could not possibly remember. The last time she saw him was when she was 2 and the total time spent with him in her lifetime has probably been 12 hours total. I have cut things off with him entirely since his last visit. Anyways, lately she pretends to call him on her toy phone, or tells me that her daddy is going to pick her up from school. I think all this talk has stemmed from her best friend at school, whose dad comes to pick her up every day. Not surprisingly, none of …

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My ex wants to eliminate me from my son’s life

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Editors note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "momto4kiddos." I dated my psychopath for almost 3 years. He manipulated me into having a child with him. My son is now 5 years old. I battled at court with him for 4 years now. He retained an attorney as ruthless as he is to obtain custody and put him on a path to totally eliminate me from my son’s life, including trying to put me in jail. He even filed bogus reports with CPS to have my then-boyfriend ordered out of my son’s life. My psycho took his truck door and slammed it in my son’s head causing head trauma and concussion and blamed it on my then-boyfriend. He has manipulated several people, …

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At the end of our honeymoon, he FLIPPED into a different person

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "EllenMarie." I met a covert malignant narcissist on an online dating site. I had no idea such people existed. I had lost my wonderful husband of almost 30 years to cancer 4 years previously. We’d had a terrific, healthy relationship, and I wanted another one. I have two master’s degrees, one in psychiatric social work, and have always considered myself very intuitive and a good judge of character. Not this time!! I met the narcissist on Feb 3, 2017, and was thoroughly love bombed for 5 months. He proposed after 6 weeks, and we were married on June 30, 2017. I saw no red flags. He was really a pro at …

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How psychopathic parents can affect children

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A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Mani" asked a question that I'm sure is of interest to many others, so I'll address it in a blog post. Mani writes: I was one of the children who lived with a psychopath for a long time. I fought all my life not to let him a part of my personality. In comparison to what I was exposed to I think I have been successful. But is there anybody out there who can shed more light on the effects of a psychopath father on children, particularly boys? I know there is tendency to label these children as secondary psychopaths but I haven't seen anybody talking about the mechanics of it. And I am sure all these children don't become secondary psychopaths. This is a …

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Her daughter’s wedding should be a time of joy, but her ex is causing havoc

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from the reader who posts as "Elle." In 2014, my youngest daughter and I got a restraining order against my husband at the time due to violent rages and terrifying behavior he was exhibiting. Of course he would profess to our older 2 daughters he did nothing and we were lying … this is a man who NEVER took any responsibility for his behavior and was then and still is a pathological liar. At a divorce proceeding in April 2017, in spite of the restraining order in effect, he violated the order and I went to the police. He came after my daughter and I in the parking lot in a terrifying, arms flailing, cocky and belligerent manner …

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Why didn’t his family warn me?

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I want to express my deepest appreciation and thanks for this site. I have questions for which I can't find answers. Admittedly I'm new to this forum and I'm sure my story isn't unique as I've read MY story over and over LOL! I'm clearly among my peeps. I say that with humor and with heartache because my family and friends do not understand my situation by no fault of their own. 1- having never been exposed to a sociopath their advice was based on a normal relationship. And 2- I didn't share most of what happened out of embarrassment. I didn't even realize my X was a sociopath until recently, 3 years after the final breakup. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't bouncing back, why I had no …

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How psychopathic parents create complex trauma in their children

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By Dr. Kathy Ahern An earthquake strikes in the middle of the night. A four-year-old child is trapped in a demolished house. She is left without food or water, help or support for three terrifying days. In a different city another child the same age is neglected by her self-absorbed parents. They ignore her cries of hunger and fear for three days. Years later, the earthquake victim suffers no ill effects from her experience. The child who was physically and emotionally abandoned grows into an adult suffering from complex PTSD. The physical and emotional traumas were identical. So why the difference? Betrayal. The neglected child was dependent on her parents. She needed them. She …

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Psychologist kills his ex-wife in murder-suicide during custody battle

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Alabama police believe that Greg Scott, 63, a psychologist from Selma, killed his ex-wife, Mary Timmons Scott, 38, and then committed suicide. The couple were engaged in a custody dispute over their two young daughters. Greg Scott was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in front of a funeral home. The body of his wife was found locked in the trunk of a car. 'Daddy shot mommy': Father-of-two psychologist, 63, 'killed his ex-wife, 35, and locked her body in trunk of a car before committing suicide' amid a custody battle, on DailyMail.Co.uk.   …

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My First Unsuspecting Year in My Marriage to an Exploiter

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By Eleanor Cowan With a sparkling wedding ring on my finger, I’d claimed a much-desired new identity – no longer the binge-drinking daughter of an alcoholic mother who’d taken her own life, no longer the thrice-raped young woman drowning in shame, but instead newly married to a handsome, highly educated university student. I’d begun a whole new chapter of life. Still, I noticed things. Little things that I dismissed. That summer of 1973, after my regular work hours at the library, I waitressed part time for the extra cash to pay for my fall university courses in Paris. While I noted my husband’s five-year high stack of unpaid student loans, I decided that his finances were none of my …

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