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Explaining the sociopath

What sociopaths want from sex

Image courtesy of alexisdc at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many, many people who were romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was amazing. Earth-moving. The best they ever had. At least, that’s how it was in the beginning, while the sociopath was still reeling them in.

The targets thought this amazing sex was proof of the real connection between themselves and the sociopath, proof that the two of them were wildly, deeply in love.

The truth is that sociopaths are incapable of love. Oh, they’re capable of feeling attraction. And they’re capable of proclaiming love, very convincingly (especially when they’re looking for sex). But they are not capable of genuine concern for another person’s welfare, which is a key component of real love.

One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviors

sexy man and womanI once heard from a man, whom we’ll call “Jeff,” who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, “Amanda,” was a sociopath.

It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her “best friend.” Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences:

  • Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet.
  • Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn’t have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway.

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurt

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 49B:  Clarity And Its Consequences

For a sociopath, why lie when you can deflect, discredit and distract

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 49A:  Clarity And Its Consequences

A few weeks later, when we needed to inventory all of our physical assets, at my lawyers’ recommendation I invited Paul back to the house. Room by room, we agreed on the list of what we owned: furniture, outdoor grill, prints, appliances, jewelry, and so on.

Sociopaths are “spin” and misrepresentation experts. To protect yourself, document everything!

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 48:  Toxic Emails

10 reasons why the fireworks of a romance with a sociopath are duds

In honor of July 4th, let’s talk about fireworks — the really dangerous kind. These are the fireworks that you feel exploding all around you early in your relationship with someone who later turns out to be a sociopath. Here’s what you see and experience, and what it really going on.

1.

You see: Nonstop texts, emails and social media postings

Reality: You’re not the only one receiving them. The Internet and social media make it easy for sociopaths to work multiple targets at once, and they do.

2.

You experience: Conversations that last for hours

Like cosmic black holes, Sociopaths suck in all surrounding matter and energy and give nothing back

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 47B: Divorcing A Sociopath—Round II

Does he sound like a full-blown narcissist and/or sociopath? Or maybe some form of borderline personality disorder?

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “bonnie2017.” Donna Andersen responds to her questions at the end of the letter. Names have been changed.

Following my most recent life-shattering break-up 4 weeks ago, I happened upon your website, lovefraud.com, and found it extremely helpful and insightful! I first wanted to thank you for all the invaluable information you provide. I also wanted to tell you my sad story about my almost-baby-daddy and get your feedback. Maybe it can help others too.

Freeing oneself from a sociopath is challenging and can be dangerous

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 47: Divorcing a Sociopath–Round II

Sociopaths and double lives

Man with maskA reporter inquired about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers?

Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women.

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