It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …
Sociopaths engage in calculated seduction. Learn how they love bomb you until you feel addicted to the relationship and can’t leave.
50 classic warning signs of sociopathic behavior in one BBC story
A Lovefraud reader recently sent me a story from the BBC about a relationship with a sociopath, although the article never comes out and says it. Here's the summary: When Anna, an actress, fell in love with an older and more successful actor he seemed like the perfect man. They quickly became engaged - but then he began to change. It took time for her to realise that her fairytale romance had become an abusive relationship. The article highlights typical behavior of a predatory sociopath, and the typical responses of his unsuspecting target. I point out 50 warning signs below. But first, I invite you to read the article. Emotional abuse: 'My fiancé seemed perfect - but he wanted to …
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Deception: the sociopath’s key strategy
My blog article last week was entitled, Why falling for a romance scam doesn’t mean you’re stupid. I related several stories of people who thought they were in romantic relationships, but everything their so-called partners told them was a lie. One woman lost $100,000. Another lost her life. In response to the article, I received the following comment from a reader: I’ve figured out that the common denominator with all these love scams, is lack of SELF love! Why are there so many ppl that don’t love themselves enough to not place themselves in these crazy scenarios? In some cases, there may be truth to this observation — yes, some people do not think highly of themselves. But I do …
Why falling for a romance scam doesn’t mean you’re stupid
A woman from Queensland, Australia, trying to help her online lover, found herself in the middle of a $6 million romance scam. The 60-year-old woman met the man, who claimed to be American, 18 months ago. He convinced her to send him $100,000 of her own money. Then she gave the man her bank details, and he deposited $6 million into her account — money that had been swindled from a South Korean business. In a news article on ABC.net.au, Detective Senior Sergeant Daren Edwards gave his opinion of the woman's actions in the romance scam: "I think it's just blatant stupidity — there's no other word for it." Those of us who've lost money to sociopathic love interests usually do feel …
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7 Classic lies from sociopaths and how to spot them
Sociopaths lie. No matter what type of relationship you have with a sociopath — romantic, family, business or casual — sooner or later the sociopath will lie to you. The circumstances may vary, the scale of the lie may vary, but at some point the sociopath will tell you something that simply isn't true. Following are seven classic lies from sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders). How many have you heard? I love you Sociopaths are incapable of love, as you and I understand it. Real love includes caregiving, and sociopaths simply cannot put someone else's well being before their own. …
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10 mistakes to avoid when leaving a sociopath
Ending a relationship with a sociopath is not a normal break-up. Sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders) do not pursue romantic relationships in search of mutual love and companionship. They are looking for someone to use in some way — such as for money, sex, or to siphon off your emotional energy. Therefore, when you end a relationship with a sociopath, you can't get together, hug, cry and wish each other well, as you might with a normal person. When leaving a sociopath, you need to be strategic. Here are 10 mistakes to avoid: Thinking you can still be friends You may still be …
Will emotional abuse become physical abuse?
If you are targeted by a sociopath, you will endure emotional abuse. Sociopaths — meaning people with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders — live their lives by manipulating and exploiting others. So if you have any kind of extensive or ongoing involvement with a sociopath, you will be manipulated, deceived and betrayed. It's just a matter of how badly. Manipulation, deceit and betrayal are all forms of emotional abuse. Why? Because society runs on trust, and sociopaths violate trust. When the trust you place in someone is violated, you suffer an emotional wound. But will emotional abuse become physical abuse? The answer is, …
Can a relationship with a sociopath work?
You've met someone who is charming, charismatic, fun, attentive and, oh yeah, sexy. Your relationship is the most exciting you've ever experienced — at first. Then you see some red flags, and your relationship isn't as pleasant as it once was. After a few nasty incidents, you Google words like "pathological lying," and see descriptions that sound like your partner. You suspect your partner may be a sociopath. The good times are, or were, really good. You don't want to throw it all away. So you wonder — can a relationship with a sociopath work? The answer depends on what you mean by "work." You cannot have a supportive, sharing relationship with a sociopath If by "work" you mean a …
How to spot a dating scam
Americans lost $143 million in dating scams in 2018, according to the Federal Trade Commission. That figure probably doesn't include the more than $2 million that one con artist, Derek Alldred, took from the two dozen women that he, by himself, scammed. These are examples of the two different types of dating scams: Online dating scams and In Real Life (IRL) dating scams. Here's what you need to know about them. Online dating scams These dating scams take place totally over the Internet, social media and phones — the Internet predator and the target never meet in person. The objective is usually financial. Many of these Internet predators are based in Nigeria or Asia. In fact, …
Does my psychopath miss me?
Editor's note: The following article refers to male psychopaths. Women can also be sociopaths, psychopaths and other disordered individuals. Does my sociopath/psychopath miss me? The short answer is “no.” The qualified answer is “yes, in appearance, but only as long as you can afford him.” Since psychopaths are unable to have true feelings, once you are removed from his picture, you are gone forever. Somebody else with financial security will replace you, and then when the money is gone or things go sour, somebody else will replace that person. Psychopaths, we know, are not able to feel gratitude, love, loyalty or any kind of guilt or remorse that could tie him to you. During …
29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths
Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning. Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest. When we're involved with a …
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