It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …
Sociopaths engage in calculated seduction. Learn how they love bomb you until you feel addicted to the relationship and can’t leave.
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lied to myself as I became close to him again
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Ravenless Tower.” She realizes, as she wrote, that "I lied to myself." I'm going to be as concise as I can here - but like most of you the story is long. I wanted to tell it so there is a frame of reference to my posts for anyone who cares. I also wanted to get it down in writing, and out of my head. My intent is not to complain or to place blame, so much as to identify the issues that have helped to shape my choices and brought my ultimately to this board for support. The point of being here, for me, is not to hate, not to blame, but to accept responsibility and own the things in my life that need to be …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Looking into the eyes of a con man
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as “Eclipse.” She wrote about her experience with a sociopathic con man. I met the P at the end of 2004. We both worked out at a local gym close to my home. I had been going through a divorce for about a year. I confided to him about my 19-year marriage, of abuse. We became friends for about six months. We then became involved and were falling for each other. He told me he was in a bad relationship, and that he was married, eight months into our relationship. He told me he was trapped and was trying to get a divorce. He told me how his wife was controlling and mentally abusive to him; he was denied any …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Tangled in his twisted web
Editor's note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader named “Krzyluv” who found herself in a sociopath's twisted web. I would like to start by saying that a concerned friend referred me to this website, and I must say that I never in a million years would think that there was anyone out there who was like me, or would ever believe what has happened to me and my children. The stories and blogs I have read have inspired so much strength and courage inside of this empty shell of a woman that I have become! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for having such an inspiring website as this. It makes me think that if all these women can be that brave and do it, so can I. My story …
13 very early warning signs that your new partner may be a controller
UPDATED FOR 2023. The best way to escape a controlling or abusive relationship is to get out before you are emotionally hooked. But how can you tell when a new romantic interest may turn into a problem partner? Here are 13 very early warning signs that may precede later abusive behavior. You are spending all your free time with your partner — perhaps even seeing him or her every day. If you spend any time with someone else, your partner seems hurt, annoyed or even angry. You may get calls and texts 24/7 — even if you are also spending a lot of time with this person. If you don't respond immediately and your partner demands to know why — well, consider this a serious …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The long grift
Editor's note: The following story was received from a reader whom we'll call “Violet” about her experience with a long grift, not of money, but of intimacy. I knew L when we worked together at a call centre as customer service representatives. He seemed nice, and he had lovely, expressive brown eyes and a gentle nature. I was losing weight at the time, and he asked for my help, so of course I gave him advice and tips. He began to lose weight, and he invited me over to his and his girlfriend, M's, apartment for dinner and to show him some 'exercise moves' (now I think it was mostly an excuse to ogle me). He looked at me very intently, it wasn't menacing, but I definitely felt like he …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lost and really need help
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as BentNotBroken. She is having difficulty breaking off an involvement with a sociopath and really needs help. My head is so full that I don't really know where to start. I dated a man (off and on) for 2-1/2 years, and recently found out that he was having several long-term relationships at the same time. I had never been in an abusive relationship, so I didn't know what the gut-wrenching feeling meant. I didn't know to trust it. My mind is playing tricks on me at this point. Is he or isn't he? The signs are so obvious, but then I think of his face, his touch, his words, and I melt. How can this man — …
5 reasons why you can hook up with multiple sociopaths
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud received the following inquiry from a reader whom we'll call "Leslie-Marie," who believes that she was involved with multiple sociopaths. She writes: Is it not uncommon for people to have several relationships with sociopaths and/or narcissists throughout their life? I am wondering if you would do a write up on this topic as I find it so difficult to explain to others. They look at me in such disbelief, as if I'm making it up. It would be nice to have something to back me up. I can count 7 at least that I am certain of and have been closely involved with... Would you also consider explaining how this cycle can continue on what is it about us that …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This was all about him and all about what he needed
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we'll call “Kay.” She discovered that her magic relationship was all about him. Kay and the Loser in Aluminum Foil He was prince charming, at least to me he was. We liked the same music, the same food, we spoke about the same topics, liked frequenting the same places, everything was so right. My friends, however, had a complete aversion to his instant overbearing interest in all things Kay. He completely immersed himself in my life and was constantly "making sure" I was okay. He made sure he monopolized all my time. He would call me approximately 20-25 times a day. During working hours he made sure …
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6 reasons why sociopaths seem so romantic – but they’re all fake
UPDATED FOR 2023. People who have been in a relationship with a sociopath frequently say that they were swept off their feet in a whirlwind romance. But what, exactly, does that mean? Here are six strategies that sociopaths employ to make you fall for them hard and fast — and why the romance is not at all what it seems to be. 1. Sociopaths want to be with you, or in contact with you, all the time They call for dates. They want to hang out. They book your calendar weeks in advance. They may go to great lengths to see you — driving long distances or booking a flight. You may feel overwhelmed with the attention, and believe that your new romantic interest is just so smitten with …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated
Editor's note: Lovefraud received this letter from a reader who we'll call “Abigail.” She relates how she felt bonded to a man, even after he brutally assaulted her. I grew up very sheltered in an ultra-religious family; I had no knowledge whatsoever about deceitful liars. I should have because my also very innocent and trusting mother was misled by one man like that, who deceived her, promising her marriage, just to end up getting her pregnant (with me) and then leave her and us for good. My family, however, preferred to deal with this issue by keeping it as much secret as possible, so unfortunately I couldn't learn from my mother's mistakes. I have been sheltered in a "glass box" all …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseatedRead More