Hooked by a sociopath

Can a relationship with a sociopath work?

You’ve met someone who is charming, charismatic, fun, attentive and, oh yeah, sexy. Your relationship is the most exciting you’ve ever experienced — at first.

Then you see some red flags, and your relationship isn’t as pleasant as it once was. After a few nasty incidents, you Google words like “pathological lying,” and see descriptions that sound like your partner. You suspect your partner may be a sociopath.

The good times are, or were, really good. You don’t want to throw it all away. So you wonder — can a relationship with a sociopath work?

The answer depends on what you mean by “work.”

You cannot have a supportive, sharing relationship with a sociopath

If by “work” you … Read more

29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths

Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning.

Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest.

When we’re involved with a predator, our bodies desperately try to get out attention to warn us of the danger. … Read more

8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths

It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths.

This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger:

1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by … Read more

How to dump the sociopath

Suppose you realize that you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Or, your instincts are telling you that the person in hot pursuit of you is bad news. How do you end the involvement?

When you’re romantically involved with reasonably normal individuals, you usually try to spare their feelings. You don’t come out and say that they’re boring, or needy, or oafish, even if that’s what you feel. You make up excuses. You tell them that you’re getting back with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, even if that’s a lie. You say you’re just not ready for a relationship right now, even if that’s also a lie.

In essence, when breaking up with an okay person who just isn’t … Read more

Explaining love addiction with a sociopath

According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain’s reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video.

Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can’t get what you want.

So what happens when you … Read more