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Hooked by a sociopath

3 steps to prevent a sociopath from taking advantage of your vulnerabilities

Image by Gustavo Verissimo

“Is it really a vulnerability to respond to somebody (apparently) liking and desiring you? Is that not just a basic human need that we all want to have fulfilled?”

The Lovefraud reader Dorabella asked these questions on a story that I posted a couple of weeks ago, The sociopath as your soul mate. They are great questions. The answers are: Yes, it’s a vulnerability to respond to someone desiring you, and yes, it’s a basic human need. So although these are vulnerabilities, they are also normal human qualities.

To be human is to have vulnerabilities.

This is a preview of 3 steps to prevent a sociopath from taking advantage of your vulnerabilities. Read the full post (801 words, 1 image, estimated 3:12 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath

How to dump the sociopath

Suppose you realize that you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Or, your instincts are telling you that the person in hot pursuit of you is bad news. How do you end the involvement?

When you’re romantically involved with reasonably normal individuals, you usually try to spare their feelings. You don’t come out and say that they’re boring, or needy, or oafish, even if that’s what you feel. You make up excuses. You tell them that you’re getting back with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, even if that’s a lie. You say you’re just not ready for a relationship right now, even if that’s also a lie.

This is a preview of How to dump the sociopath. Read the full post (1044 words, 1 image, estimated 4:11 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath

My sociopathic partner: Once the smoke begins to clear…

Chapter 1-wow!  You’re an amazing guy!

It all began innocently…my daughter’s halloween party invite which happened to include an invite of his daughter too. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the horror insanity and chaos we were about to embark on.

This is a preview of My sociopathic partner: Once the smoke begins to clear…. Read the full post (1124 words, 1 image, estimated 4:30 mins reading time)
Posted in: Hooked by a sociopath, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

Living with a Sociopath

Well where do I start? I guess right from the beginning.

1999

I was 31 when I met the most handsome charming man in the world, I had travelled well, I used to be a holiday rep abroad, so I thought I was a pretty good judge of character……..

I met him on a night out with friends, on a Saturday Night, we talked all night long, I even went back to his place (no funny business) and we talked all night there too!!

This is a preview of Living with a Sociopath. Read the full post (8336 words, 1 image, estimated 33:21 mins reading time)
Posted in: Hooked by a sociopath, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

Explaining love addiction with a sociopath

According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain’s reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video.

Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can’t get what you want.

This is a preview of Explaining love addiction with a sociopath. Read the full post (1491 words, 0 images, estimated 5:58 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath

After the sociopath, a man with borderline personality disorder

Photo by Alon

Editor’s Note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader Victimcindy. Donna Andersen  responds after the letter.

My first relationship, after my 18-year marriage to a sociopath, was to a borderline personality disordered (BPD) man. Do you find this common as the disordered traits are opposite in some areas?  We think we are getting something new and healthy.

Spath vs BPD: sex

My spath-ex withheld sex as power. The borderline was highly sexual. My spath-ex was charming, but lacked empathy and was emotionally unavailable. He also abused substances, was opportunistic with casual sex outside marriage and secretive.

This is a preview of After the sociopath, a man with borderline personality disorder. Read the full post (1248 words, 1 image, estimated 5:0 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath

Cognitive dissonance: Vicky Cilliers can’t accept that her husband tried to kill her by tampering with her parachute

Victoria and Emile Cilliers.

Emile Cilliers, a British army sergeant, was convicted last week of attempting to kill his wife, Vicky.

The two were avid skydivers, and in April 2015, he tampered with her parachute before a jump. She fell 4,000 feet, but miraculously survived.

Earlier in the week, Emile Cilliers damaged gas fittings in their home. If the gas had exploded, it would have killed Vicky and their two children.

But even though the court found him guilty, Vicky Cilliers can’t believe her husband was capable of murder. Read this story:

This is a preview of Cognitive dissonance: Vicky Cilliers can’t accept that her husband tried to kill her by tampering with her parachute. Read the full post (1086 words, 1 image, estimated 4:21 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath, Media sociopaths, Uncategorized

Seduction and manipulation: Sophie and Donna Andersen tell their stories

When she was in high school, Sophie was seduced by her female teacher into a sexual relationship.

When she was 40, Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com, was seduced by a sociopath who scammed her out of a quarter-million dollars — for starters.

Both women tell their stories on IndoctriNation is a new podcast by Rachel Bernstein. Rachel is a Los Angeles therapist who specializes in helping people escape cults and cult-like relationship.

Sophie’s interview is first. Donna’s interview starts at 29 minutes.

IndoctriNation Episode 6 — Narcissistic seduction and manipulation with Donna Andersen and Sophie, on Soundcloud.com.

 

Permanent link to this post (101 words, 1 image, estimated 24 secs reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Events and announcements, Hooked by a sociopath

Sometimes “no contact” is not an option

For more than two years, I’ve shared my story and relevant insights here once a week.

That’s coming to a close.  My book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath chronicles my marriage and the painful lessons learned. My book, Narcissists, Sociopaths & Wolves  includes a summary of some of the warning signs of being in a relationship with a sociopath. I hope the excertps I’ve shared from them have been helpful.

Husband Liar Sociopath

I didn’t know.

This is a preview of Sometimes “no contact” is not an option. Read the full post (552 words, 1 image, estimated 2:12 mins reading time)
Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, O.N. Ward, Recovery from a sociopath

Are you changing in ways you don’t like? Maybe your partner’s a sociopath

Husband Liar Sociopath

Sociopaths are fueled by our reactions to them—so sociopaths trigger our emotions. What are the signs this is happening? 

Looking back on my unwitting marriage to a man I now believe is a sociopath, I realize that some of the warning signs that I was in a relationship with a sociopath were changes in my own behavior. My book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath chronicles that marriage and the painful lessons learned. My book, Narcissists, Sociopaths & Wolves  includes a summary of some of the warning signs of being in a relationship with a sociopath.

This is a preview of Are you changing in ways you don’t like? Maybe your partner’s a sociopath. Read the full post (716 words, 2 images, estimated 2:52 mins reading time)
Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, O.N. Ward

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