How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Is a sociopath aware of his state?
- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 4 months ago by Stargazer.
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September 14, 2017 at 6:22 pm #42195macus1529Participant
I already posted one post describing my situation but I am wondering about one thing – do they know that they are ill?
I am asking because the guy I dated (and who forgot to mention that he is married, then when confronted, lied about it) expressed that “I am fucked up”, “I am broken”, “I need to sort my shit out” referring to himself on multiple occasion. I believe he was aware of getting aggressive, pushy but not sure that he knew that he was manipulative as well. But is there a chance that he was aware of his state but not capable of changing because he felt that he had no control over himself? And if he knew/knows that something is not right with him, can he change that? I am sure the circumstance dictates that – being deployed with the military gives the reason for the aggression, sex addiction and more.
He also mentioned several times that he is incapable of showing emotions. But he is married! Do you ask someone to marry you without having feelings for that person and showing it? Many times when I wanted to have an answer to his behavior, he stated some short useless thing and added “that’s all I can give you, that’s all I am capable of”.
If he is aware, then why doesn’t he seek help or gets better? But then again, how would I know if he does or doesn’t seek help – Ive been lied to so many times that anything goes.
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September 14, 2017 at 8:28 pm #42203StargazerParticipant
I think they pretty much figure out that they are different from normal people and that they can fake being normal as a ploy to manipulate people. Often they believe they are superior. I have been reading on this site for almost 10 years and I’ve never heard of one sociopath who wanted to be helped. Usually, they use psychotherapy as a way to learn how to exploit people. And many times, they can manipulate an unsuspecting therapist. Even if a sociopath truly wanted to change, I know of no evidence that they can change. There are actually physical differences in their brains. I think the best an adult sociopath can do is learn to manage their behaviors so they fly under the radar and not end up in prison. If you are trying to encourage a sociopath to get help, I think everyone here would agree with me that it’s a lost cause.
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September 14, 2017 at 8:32 pm #42205macus1529Participant
This is very useful, thank you. Yes, he is aware as I stated above, he also said many times that “I am not normal” but I never heard him saying what is wrong and how he is dealing with it.
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September 14, 2017 at 11:31 pm #42211StargazerParticipant
They don’t really know what they don’t know. Since they don’t experience the full depth of human emotion, they can only observe it in others. They see it as a sign of weakness. They study us to learn how our feelings motivate us. Then they use those very feelings to manipulate us. They think they are better than the rest of us because they don’t have these human vulnerabilities. So they can have an understanding that they are different. But without the actual experience of human emotion, they can’t long for it or feel like something is missing. They see that we live by moral rules. They don’t. But they know it is socially and legally unacceptable to do whatever they want, so they fake it. Like I said, the best they can do is try to manage their tendencies.
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