Preparing profile for the online dating

It seems you have some of the basics down. My suggestion to you is to remember that dating sites & social media platforms are prime hunting grounds for emotional manipulors/conartists/abusers/whatever you want to call them. These types of people extract and exploit the vulnerabilities of others. They portray themselves as your soul mate mate or otherwise perfect match by mironing us to ensnare us in the first place so be sure not to put much personal information on your profile (this includes social media.) Don’t put yourself out there too much in your profile and after just meeting someone. I would keep it very brief as I understood you get that. I’m unsure of what to do with the photosame except to not put ones on their that give a lot of personal information about yourself, maybe have it taken in a neutral place. Aside from the profile, know the red flags & watch for it in others profiles and them themselves to spot potential problematic behavior ahead of time. it slow, give information about yourself slowly and over time as they earn your trust & not all at once. If you have yet to watch this red flags series, I highly suggest checking it out. There are 52 videos but they are relatively short. I listened to them a few at a time while doing housework or something.

The Gift of Time-Managing the Pace of a New Relationship

exerpt:

In this day and age, slowing down is not really part of our lives. We move fast today. Technology makes things so easy and allows for quick, direct (sometimes even intense) communication. We are often under pressure to move fast in relationships,having put off “love” for career. So the task of slowing down requires that you look at how we date today.

Technology: Focus on limiting the amount of texts and emails that you send while in early stage dating. Limit texts or emails to once a day or less and limit content to setting up dates or quick check in. Leave real conversation for the face to face meetings. Take a look at your facebook friends and consider not adding a new friend until they are an actual friend. Adding a person that you have not even met in person or who you have had one dinner date with might not be the best choice. When using online dating sites keep emails simple, straight forward and of a non-intimate nature.

Contact: Consider dating once a week. Leave Friday and Saturdays for a traditional date night and hold firm to your boundary. Even if you are not mutually free on those days for two or three weeks,you just bought yourself some time. Hold firm to boundaries regarding when you are available. If you have plans with friends or family, do not cave when the pressure comes for him to participate.

Time: Be vigilant about how long you spend with one person in early stage dating. Allow yourself two or maybe three hours for first, second and third dates. This would include a dinner date, an outdoor activity date, or a group date. Keep phone calls short and pleasant. Again, leave real conversation for face to face meetings.

Relationships: You can slow things down by keeping your early stage date just that, a date. He does not need to meet the kids, the parents or any other close family. The process of bringing a new person into your intimate circle only intensifies the relationship in your eyes and puts you at risk. The person you should introduce him to is the non-tolerant best friend. The friend that warned you about the last one!

• This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by AnnettePK.