How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths as partners › New to this Forum but I believe I fit right in
- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 6 months ago by Donna Andersen.
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May 6, 2018 at 9:11 pm #453562018memberParticipant
Hi all
This is my story albeit a little condensed. I discovered after 7 years of marriage and another 11 or so together that the entire marriage was a lie. ( thats what I believe now). I discovered he used hookers, had other women (some at the same time) online dating accounts, used alias names etc etc as well as huge financial and other betrayals. I have mounds of evidence but when I ask him to be level with me his response is that none of it proves anything and that he” watched lots of porn” too but that doesn’t prove anything and he “did nothing wrong” but he does now admit that ” it looks bad”. But thats it. He treats me with the utmost disrespect and disregard and the children see it.
We are divorcing, obviously, but I am still struggling with the notion of who I believed he was and who he really is. I have shared it with very few people as I doubt most would believe me as he appears so nice to everyone else. He makes me out to be the b@#ch while he is a total victim. I believe he does that to try to justify his actions. There has been absolutely no remorse at all from him.
This has rocked my world and of course makes me feel like an complete idiot that all this was happening right under my nose and I truly had no clue. I did feel the disconnect at times and I never understood why. I now know why as he was living a double life.
He quickly moved on and is already knee-deep into another relationship while I try to pick up the pieces and move forward. Very tough.
Thanks for listening. -
May 8, 2018 at 10:13 am #45372Donna AndersenKeymaster
2018member – I am so sorry for your experience, but glad that you now have discovered the truth. Yes, your story mirrors that of many people here at Lovefraud. And yes, when everything you believed is a lie, it rocks your world.
I recommend that you keep reading Lovefraud. The more you can educate yourself about what your husband is, the more equipped you will be to deal with him. And please be gentle with yourself. Sociopaths are very, very good at what they do. They choose honest, caring people as their targets. Do not blame yourself. He is responsible for his betrayals.
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