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Excellent article in June’s Psychology Today differentiating the traits of male vs female psychopaths:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201906/what-makes-female-psychopaths-differentSome points the author made:
• Since more data is available for killers and con artists than for “mean girls” who merely defy social conventions, they are disproportionately represented in case studies of female psychopathy.
• Females who develop the disorder may show it through verbal and relational aggression— perhaps harming someone socially through gossip or ostracism. Female psychopaths appear to have a stronger need for others’ approval, worse self-image, and more anxiety relative to males. They might use flirtation and sexual behavior, feign suicide attempts, or pretend to be the victim of an assault to get what they want.
• Motivations are often different for females: “Males tend to be motivated by sex or strivings for domination and power over victims; females tend to be driven more by profit, notoriety, or some other practical end.” Violent male psychopaths often harm strangers. But … when psychopathic females are serial killers, they typically target family members.
• The game of manipulation becomes more important than the outcome. Males typically just want to win.
• Females with psychopathic traits respond normally to emotional words. … they score better on emotional intelligence than males.The author also points out that when rating psychopathic traits on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, woman often don’t score as high as men – they had higher scores on the interpersonal and lifestyle facets of psychopathy (manipulativeness, grandiosity, impulsivity) than they did on emotional and antisocial facets (lack of remorse and delinquency), and are less physically violent than male offenders.
Well worth the read especially if you are not sure the woman who is making your life miserable is a psychopath, on another spectrum of abnormal behavior, or just a miserable human being.
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emilie18 – thank you so much for posting about that article!
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Emilie. Excellent article. They do exist.
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Good point is that we sometimes don’t know if this is a psychopath or just a miserable human being. I have sometimes wondered about this.
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Still wondering
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Emilie. They do sound very undesirable! I have a friend who can be nice but recently had covid, was in a lot of pain, was miserable and now seems to want everyone else to be miserable. I think she is just a miserable human being at this time.
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Emilie. I know another female who rebels against authority. I think she is just a jerk but maybe there is something more
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I know another female who think is a sociopath, can be very sadistic.
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There are many .
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Emilie Again, good article.
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Emilie. Very good.
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I’ll bring this up.
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Women who are overweight tend to be very self centered and aggressive, addictive personalities
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Nurses who kill babies exploit systems of care. Article in http://www.psychology today. Some go into nursing for power, very troubling.
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I just heard about a woman who did a suicide and her 2 children found her.
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Jeanette McCurdy wrote I’m Glad My Mom Died. She was on Drew today.
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They do the game of manipulation
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Emilie So glad you posted this. It is helpful
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Just reread this with recent experience.
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I experience these often
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Emilie. Really great article. There are a lot.
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I know a man whose wife died of cancer. When he was grieving he met a psychopath woman who love bombed then became abusive. They target those who have lost a spouse. After awhile he left.
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Psychopath women are in many places.
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This is a good description
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The article that describes a female psychopath from Psychology today is very much appreciated.
Im afraid I have lived with one half my life. There were a few childhood illness that got so bad that when I begged to visit the doctor she refused along with some flimsy reason for not doing so.
The adults at school didnt believe me. Because she was so charming and had some amazing excuse lined up. Then I would get no dinner and a beating. (major child abuse and neglect)
Finally a ‘prince charming’ entered my life.
and we got married in our early 20s even though I would have preferred to start a career first. He turned out to be a somewhat troubled resulting from a pathological father, a covert sociopath. Incredibly fther and son were not alike in that way. My husband tried to emulate the narcissistic traits at times but disocvered that was not his true nature. He set out to heal.
all in all he was a good man , luckily not a narcissist.
Neither my bio mother nor the Father in law of targeted us directly until the ‘masks’ began to slip. They would behave poorly but we could not put our finger on it and naturally withdrew from them little by little.
Until the pair (meaning my birth mother and this ‘father in law’ then began to target us. It was because we were going from dependancy on them toward autonomy. Thats all it took to enrage these parental narco-paths.
Over the years because we set boundaries, this enraged them alot. His MO was to seperate us. Her MO was to get on husbands good side and try to be divisive with us to cause instability. Unfortunately I am a sensitive soul. And so my MIL, brother in law and even one of my siblings saw me react angrily to all sorts of covert abuse stemming form mother and FIL. I would either cancel on get togethers or ramble on about the abuses. I was dysregulated and did not know it. NEither did they.
I loved these family members yet they simply dismissed me then and tragically still dont talk to me to this day.
No one ever believed me.
(as a side note for context. Once my mother threw me out of her car on a highway when I was a passenger because I disagreed with how she wanted my wedding to go) There are dozens of similar exapmles when I was placed in danger by her from childhood even into adulthood. It was extremely covert abuse and no one believed me. Except once a surprised pedestrian and it happened to be close to my apartment at the time. It was also before cell phones and pictures, paper trail evidence was a thing too.
Those connected to my psychopathic mother and FIL slowly one by one distanced from us as a a couple and even individually. Very strange and we just could not understand. it was at a time when these tactics were not well understood – maybe by research psychologists, but less so the ones you enter therapy with to get genuine help from.
My one mistake was fighting to be heard about the abuse, and desire to be treated well and supported (or so I’d hoped!) All anyone on the outside saw was a freaked out me. But no one would ever believe me about her. Nor about the sociopath father in law.
Bio- mother is still alive and is actually trying to stalk me since I came out of hiding. I do very much need help for this in fact. Ive blocked her number and will not provide my address. Although she did google it once. creep.
Interestingly; as far as the father in law
He is recently deceased and all sorts of lies from his past surfaced not just the ones he told to us. Turns out he canceled his life insurance that would typically be collected by his wife. Its his second wife. So he told her he had life insurance. Turns out he simply canceled it a few years before he died. And never told her he canceled it.
To spite her for something? no one will ever know.
In addition to the fake life insurance allegedly he also lied about being in the military. So when she went to collect either insurance or military spouse benefits, she found these lies out as well. She was told by the agency he never served in the military.
Even my husband was shocked about that because he believed his father growing up. what an outcome for this second wife to discover after her husband died.
Yet also sadly for us, we never got an apology nor validation for gently warning her about him. It was the truth telling and the boundaries that made us get shunned by these psycho/sociopath led families. thanks for reading. -
Hi Kay – thanks for posting and sharing. It may seem incredible but I have much in common with you regarding dealing with narcissistic/sociopathic relatives. I’m not going to go into my whole story but, believe me, I can identify with you. I have been on this healing path for a long time now even before people spoke or wrote about narcissists – I did find good books that helped me through, but now with sites like Love Fraud it is like hitting a gold mine. So please take advantage of all that Donna here at love Fraud has to offer as well as the many great therapists and helpers who have You Tube Channels. I have finally gotten to the point that I don’t need to think of those psychotic people any more, but it has been a struggle. For me, in order to heal, I needed to connect all the terms of narcissistic behaviors to what they were up to. That creates a good distance psychologically and then with the inward power gained, you can begin to knock the thoughts of them out easier and easier until they hardly even are a part of your reality. But be sure to cultivate things that you love in your life at the same time. I am glad that you have a wonderful husband and that you can heal together and have a bright and loving life together as you go into your new future. Love and Light to you both
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