How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › perspecticide
- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 months ago by sept4.
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February 22, 2022 at 4:13 pm #67327sept4Participant
I’ve been reading about this term lately: perspecticide. This is one of the psychological things my ex husband did to me. A strategy of emotional abuse that kills your own perspective. So you end up feeling like you are nothing and nobody and you don’t have your own views. This is extremely damaging psychologically.
https://www.businessinsider.com/the-signs-youre-a-victim-of-perspecticide-2017-10
“Lisa Aronson Fontes, a psychology researcher at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and author of “Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship,” told Business Insider the word for this is “perspecticide.”
She said the word, which basically means “the incapacity to know what you know,” was first used in the literature on the brainwashing of prisoners of war, and has also been applied to people in cults.
“In an abusive or controlling relationship, over time the dominating partner changes how the victim thinks,” Fontes said. “The abuser defines what love is. The abuser defines what it appropriate in terms of monitoring the partner. The abuser defines what is wrong with the victim, and what she needs to do to change it.”
Over time, the victim — or survivor, if that is your preferred term — loses sense of what their own ideas, goals, and thoughts were. Instead, they start taking on those of their dominating partner.
“Through perspecticide, people give up their own opinions, religious affiliations, views of friends, goals in life, etc,” Fontes said. “I am not talking about the natural mutual influencing that occurs in all intimate relationships — this is much more nefarious and one-sided.”
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February 22, 2022 at 11:05 pm #67332polestarParticipant
Wow sept4 –
Thank you so much for bringing that term to my ( our ) attention. I had never heard of it before, but from what you posted, I can definitely relate. I can see that it is something that I have been struggling to overcome and didn’t have an actual term for it. I was just groping and even when I felt successful, I wasn’t quite sure what it was ( I’m sure you know what I mean ). It is very empowering to have an actual term to describe something because then we can see and be aware of what has been going on. I’m definitely, thanks to you, going to do more research about what you have explained. Thanks so much !
Blessings -
February 27, 2022 at 6:37 am #67340Donna AndersenKeymaster
Sept4 – Thank you very much for this information. I have definitely heard of plenty of cases for this, but I too had never heard the term. It is very helpful to know about.
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February 28, 2022 at 6:07 am #67351sept4Participant
Donna and Polestar yes it was such a strange experience. It felt like he killed me as a person. Not physically but my mind. He annexed and took control of my mind as an extension of himself. As if my mind were a computer that he could program for his own needs and could use for processing power.
At the end I felt like I did not even exist. I thought I was imagining that I was a person but that I was actually nobody and nothing. He invaded my mind so far that I actually started picking up his own perverse dark emotions. Like I experienced his sadistic pleasure and delight at my own suffering. And I felt waves of the dark perverse pleasures he was experiencing with drugs and degeneracy and hookers. Even though I was never exposed to any of that directly and never participated in anything like that.
It truly felt like Satan had invaded him and used him as a tool for evil and greed and lust. And then he was trying to become bigger so he annexed my mind to try to extend himself. Thankfully even though I was overwhelmed and overpowered by his evil manipulative mind control powers, eventually I found my way back out to the light.
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February 28, 2022 at 5:30 pm #67356Donna AndersenKeymaster
Sept 4 – such a compelling description of your experience. Thank you for sharing.
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March 1, 2022 at 7:18 pm #67360polestarParticipant
Hi sept4 –
We have what is called a “ Normalacy bias “, because we are normal people and it simply does not occur to us to even look for or be aware of the very strange behaviors of those living in the alternate reality of sociopathy. So we are kind of defenseless from the get go. But the truth is that mind control is a reality. I’m not sure how sociopaths can be so good at it with no training at all, because it has been made into a science. Dr. Eichman who was that famous Natzi scientist did actual studies of how to turn the human mind into a programmable mechanism. He used concentration camp victims to do his studies on, and also used twins. After World War 11 the US government gave him a safe haven in America because they wanted him to teach them about his findings and techniques. He was known here as Dr. Green. Kathy O’Brian was actually mind controlled by him personally and has written some books that you can get on Amazon. One is called “ the trance-formation of America “. She wrote others as well so you can read the samples of those, to decide which if any would be the best help for you. In any case, the government also had an antidote so they were able to deprogram people if they wanted to. Mark Phillips was in the military and had inside information about it all and it made him “ sick “ at what was going on, so he actually rescued Kathy, and she tells about it all in her books. I thought you would benefit from reading her books. She did get freed from that mind control and it was beyond extreme and she explains precisely how they could literally turn a person into an automaton. Her last book so far ( as far as I know ) is called “ Time to heal “ and explains how to get deprogrammed. I guess the point of all of this is that what you have described is very true, and that kind of mind control really does occur. Thank you for sharing in your many posts. There is a tremendous force that goes against the beauty of being human and we all need to join together as a force for good.
Blessings -
August 13, 2022 at 12:45 pm #68420sunnygal1Participant
Interesting article!,
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February 25, 2024 at 3:27 pm #71686sept4Participant
Just found this topic again that I posted two years ago.
Maybe it will be helpful for more people.
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