My sister-in-law is a sociopath; she alienated my brother from me

My sister-in-law is a manipulative, cruel bully. On the other hand, she can be an angel to who she wants on her side: namely my late mother and my brother, her husband. She has been cruel to me and my sister for many years; for the past two years we got along, at least I thought we did, but they last week we met with my boyfriend, myself, my brother and his awful wife. She was very cruel to me. I brought up the topic of the vest I knitter for her years ago. It was mohair, and her favorite colors of purples. I mailed it to her (we live hundreds of miles apart) and(1) She didn’t mention it. (2) She didn’t thank me for it. (3) I asked her to send me a picture of herself wearing it; she didn’t do that; (4) I asked her to wear it the next time she came with my brother to visit us. She didn’t do that. That was about 20 years ago. Then last week, we met my brother and his wife half way between where we live so we could visit over lunch at a restaurant. She said I never knitted her a sweater (i.e. vest). She said I knitted a sweater for my brother. I said I knitted her a vest, and didn’t knit a sweater for my brother, I knitted him a neckscarf. A while later, she was showing some photos of her art to my boyfriend, who is also an artist. I was sitting across from her, next to my boyfriend. I asked if she’d show me her art and she didn’t. She is a female bully. I was so upset that I’ve been upset for a whole week over all this. My boyfriend noticed right away that she was ignoring me; he told me that. I have a therapist; I wrote a short, 4 paragraph post to my brother that I read to my boyfriend and my therapist, and they both said it was very good, kind, and fair. So I decided to read it to him over the phone last Thursday afternoon. I called him Wednesday evening and briefly asked him if we could set up a telephone call Thursday afternoon between 2 and 3, without his wife, just him and me. He said, “If she’s not there, then NEITHER AM I.” I replied, “She is very cruel to me. Good bye.” So now my brother is gone from my life.

As for my real sister, she is a coward. The sister-in-law has been ruining her life for decades. She gossips about my sister and spreads false rumors about her, plus some private information to MANY members of my sister’s extended family. My sister has never defended herself, never explained the truth to anyone. Yesterday I asked my sister if she had ever told my brother that he wife is cruel to her, and she said, “No.” That because she believes that “if someone is mean to you, if you are loving and kind to them, they will eventually come around and be nice to you.” Well, I guess she believes in magic. I think my sister and I may be at odds now, too. She says she and I approach life differently and we need to accept each other’s differences. I cannot accept my sister’s cowardice. I fear I may have no family at all now. I emailed my sister that I’d like to go to therapy with her again, because she and I are having a dispute. But I think she won’t go to therapy about this issue.