How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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    • January 24, 2024 at 4:25 pm #71474
      funluvmusic25
      Participant

      Hello everyone,
      I want to share a positive post confirming NC really does work. I have recently shared my story regarding receiving a Christmas card from my ex-N after 14 months of NC. At that time I had no desire nor did I plan to acknowledge the greeting. Instead, I burned it and tossed the ashes in my recycle bin where they have now found their way to a stinking local landfill. I felt nothing at all when I received this card knowing I had full control over my decision……….perhaps this is the way most sociopaths feel most all the time?!

      Fast forward to my January birthday which I celebrate tomorrow. This afternoon I received a call and right away I recognized his area code, but yet it was coming from a different number other than his. My gut instinct knew better than to answer the call. I let the call go to voicemail and sure enough it was him leaving a message wishing me a happy birthday.

      What I will say about NC is it is very hard to break the addiction we all become tied to in our relationships with our sociopaths. We feel weak just seeing their number pop up on our caller ID or just hearing their voice and we long for the short lived “good” times with them. However, staying focused and dedicated to NC brings so much clarity the longer we stay strong. His call today made me feel nothing other than knowing I’m the strong one in control now and he is nothing but a miserable loser trying to regain his control over me! I will be also blocking this new number he tried calling me from. Surely, he will run out of options…..ya think?!

      So I celebrate my birthday with all of you who are on your path to healing! The longer you remain strong with NC the more clarity will come to you and we are SO worth it!
      Be well……

    • January 24, 2024 at 8:43 pm #71475
      emilie18
      Participant

      funluvmusic25 – I am SO danged proud of you! Give yourself a much deserved pat on the back. Not only did you maintain NC for over a year, but you have not let his warped game-playing phase you one bit. Wow – just WOW! You are an inspiration! Keep it up girl. You rock!

    • January 24, 2024 at 10:02 pm #71476
      funluvmusic25
      Participant

      emilie18- Thanks so much for your encouraging words……pat on the back as per your instructions completed…lol.

      He is just baiting me and my response is “fool me once, shame on you…….fool me twice, shame on me!” Not falling for his fake greetings and birthday wishes……….nope, not this time!

      There is no man on earth worth the crap that sociopaths put us through. The only reason they pretend to be kind, caring, loving or anything else they feed us is for their gain and their gain alone. And when they get bored or get what they want they move on to their next victim. Unfortunately, for my ex-N my exit took him by surprise without warning and that was a big hit to his ego. Now he’s just trying to get back his control. He used to tell me he never had a problem getting a woman. Perhaps……but keeping a good woman was sure not his strong suit!

      At any rate, my message to everyone feeling alone and addicted to their sociopath, there is a way out. It is your choice and the longer you stay strong, No Contact will work!

      Thanks again, emilie18 ❤️

    • January 29, 2024 at 7:50 pm #71517
      Donna Andersen
      Keymaster

      funluvmusic25 – I am so pleased for you! Yes, it is hard to overcome the addiction, but kudos to you for staying strong!

      Life is truly better without them.

    • January 29, 2024 at 9:30 pm #71518
      funluvmusic25
      Participant

      Thank you, Donna. As much as I continue to stay the course with NC, our birthdays are only 5 days apart- his is tomorrow. I struggle with not returning the favor of wishing him a happy birthday……..I have a hard time not being “nice.” As much as I know his message was just his way of luring me back into his web, when it comes to me I’m more authentic than that …………probably my downfall when it comes to trying to have a relationship with a narcissist.

      At this point I feel by ignoring his birthday it should send a strong message to him that I am not interested………period! I continue to remind myself of the same old hamster wheel starting all over again and that helps keep me focused on NC and moving forward.

      Thanks so much for the support you continue to send my way! ❤️

    • January 31, 2024 at 10:28 am #71526
      funluvmusic25
      Participant

      Just want to say the NC journey sometimes can take me by surprise. The first year was relatively easy getting through holidays, birthdays, etc. especially when there was no initiation on his part. This year he actually tried to initiate contact by sending a Christmas card and then using a different phone number to wish me a happy birthday. I ignored both and thought I was home free, yet his birthday was yesterday and for some reason I felt more sad than I did on my birthday and struggled with it. I realized my feelings are sincere and authentic and his are fake. It was like having the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other shoulder pulling me both ways. I admit I struggled, yet I’m happy to say I got through it. Today is a new day, the sun is shining bright and my NC journey continues uninterrupted. The good angel on my shoulder won out and life goes on. I’ll save my sincerity and kindness for the important people in my life who support me. Thanks for listening!

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