Dilution of term “narcissist”

sept4 – I believe when people start hearing a “new” word they want to try it out. They want to be part of the latest Big New Thing. So it sounds a whole lot more trendy to say someone is a narcissist rather just an a$@*ole. Same thing is happening with “gaslighting”. I have heard this used to describe all sorts of evil actions, from simple liars to anyone who just doesn’t agree with someone. Sadly, this does dilute the actual meaning and power of the terms as most people have no clue of what they really mean. In a way, it is good to get the words out there, to make people aware of the evils that do exist, but on the downside, it makes some just yawn and shrug and say “oh no – not again”. And for those who are going through the agony of figuring out just who the heck they are with, it makes it a lot harder to pinpoint what is actually going on – or to get anyone else to believe them. Not sure what the answer is, other than to correct those who use the words incorrectly. Ideas, anyone?

I would agree, there are so many words that are over-used or misused. I feel if you’ve experienced a relationship with a true narcissist and/ or sociopath the meaning of these words take on a whole new meaning. Their motives and behaviors are much different from someone who is just full of themselves. Gaslighting takes on a whole new meaning when your partner is guilty of doing that to you……it is not just a difference of opinion, rather they are literally trying to make you look crazy. Another word that comes to mind is alcoholic. If you witness someone that is truly an alcoholic you see the self destruction it brings. Some may accuse one of being an alcoholic when a social happy hour drink does not align with their notion of their non-alcoholic habits.

Had it not been for this site and many books I’ve researched I would not have known what a true narcissist meant. It helped explain what I was experiencing with my ex-N and it helped make me realize I wasn’t going crazy after all. With this knowledge I think it helps us notice the signs with other people that we may initially miss or excuse. Some may not be a true narcissist, yet we can keep them at arms length until we fully understand them.

In essence, words are just words- they can be over-used and trendy, however the experience tells the true story.

Lovefraud launched in 2005, and at that time there was only 1 other website, a forum actually, talking about psychopaths. The words sociopath, antisocial and narcissist were barely used at all.

When I was writing the content for the original website, I debated using the terms psychopath or sociopath, which I thought were synonymous. They aren’t, which I know now. Narcissist wasn’t even a consideration.

So for a few years people talked about psychopaths and sociopaths – S/P for short. Then, seemingly by osmosis, people started talking about narcissists. They described exactly the same behavior that psychopaths and sociopaths exhibit, but called the perps narcissists.

Personally, I believe that they actually are dealing with psychopaths or antisocials, but use the term narcissist because it’s less scary.

People still think psychopaths are serial killers, although this is not necessarily true. So, if they believe the person they are describing hasn’t killed anyone, he or she can’t possibly be a psychopath. That’s not true either.

This is why I use the term “sociopath.” The word is no longer a clinical definition. When it was coined in 1930, it meant, “anything deviated or pathological in social relationships.” It’s a good umbrella term for all the bad behavior.