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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Donna Andersen, author of Love Fraud and Red Flags of Love Fraud

I thought I found the love of a lifetime. James Alwyn Montgomery, originally from Sydney Australia, seemed to be head over heels in love with me. He called constantly. He brought me thoughtful little gifts. He proclaimed his love over and over. He couldn’t wait to get married.

Two and a half years and $227,000 later, I learned that it was all a charade. My husband was a con man. A sociopath.

How could I fall for this? I was smart—I graduated with honors from Syracuse University with a degree in magazine journalism. I was successful—I ran my own business, Donna Andersen Copywriting, with many good-sized clients. I was honest and responsible—I never had trouble of any kind, not even a speeding ticket. Yet I married him and my life fell apart.

I desperately needed answers. Through meditation and the help of a spiritual counselor, I learned, to my astonishment, that my soul sought the entire journey, including the devastating betrayal.

I was angry. I was shocked. I’d lost almost everything—how could this possibly be good for me? At the time I couldn’t see it. But now, after passing through the devastation and healing from the experience, I can truthfully say that the spiritual guidance I received was right. I am now happier, more peaceful and basking in more love than I could have ever imagined.

My first book, Love Fraud—How Marriage to a Sociopath Fulfilled My Spiritual Plan, tells the whole story: How I was seduced. How I discovered what James Montgomery was really doing, with me and other women. How I fought back. How I won, although not in the way I expected to win.

I wrote Love Fraud to convey two main messages. First of all, sociopaths live freely among us—there are far more of them than we realize. By reading my story, you’ll learn what to look out for so you can protect yourself. Secondly, if you’ve tangled with a sociopath, it may be because your soul wanted to learn lessons for your own higher good. There may have been a reason for the madness.

Red Flags of Love Fraud – 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, is totally different. It’s a self-help book to help you spot the warning signs that your partner may be a sociopath. The book is based on my own experience, and the experiences of thousands of Lovefraud readers. It reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue relationships not for love, but for exploitation.

The Red Flags of Love Fraud Workbook focuses on you. It enables you to identify your own vulnerabilities and build the internal fortitude to resist or leave a sociopathic relationship.

These books offer the power of knowledge and a message of hope. By reading them, you can learn to recognize predators. And no matter what has happened, you can overcome it.

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Lovefraud Blog Recent Comments

  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
  • jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
  • Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Happy Sunday Donna, and I am not surprised based on the story of your ex that he may have been…”
  • Donna Andersen on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Hi Joanie — thanks for this article! My ex was a complete pack rat. I converted my basement into an…”
  • Donna Andersen on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “Emilie 18 posted the following comment in the Forum. Eleanor Cowen posted a beautifully said piece in the Blog about…”

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