How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Mourning the man who never was (because he is a psychopath)

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Before I had children, I always dreamed that my children would have a wonderful relationship with both me and their father.   Given the close relationship that I have with my father, I could never have imagined a situation where I would NOT want my child's father to have access to him/her.  (Until now, of course) Here is a quick example of how I felt about my father as a child and why I dreamed for my child to have the same: (This conversation took place as my father was tying my shoes.) Young Cappuccino Queen (circa age 5):  Daddy, when I grow up can I marry you? My father (holding back laughter):  No baby girl, I am already married to your mother. Cappuccino Queen:  But Daddy, I …

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Co-parenting with a sociopath: An environment of distrust (The Headless Bear)

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When I first became exposed to the term "co-parenting", I remember having a visceral reaction.  I was sitting in the three hour court mandated co-parenting class, breaking into a sweat, and having what felt like a full on panic attack as the woman leading the class showed slides of "parenting schedules."  'How in hell was I going to co-parent with a man who was capable of such terrible things,' I thought as I tried to get myself under enough control to not look like a crazy woman.  At the beginning of the class, the leaders made a point to tell everyone to disregard most of what was being said if you were in a situation with abuse/domestic violence. For some reason, this statement made me …

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Lessons from my Child Custody War with a Sociopath

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Custody cases are often referred to as “custody battles”.  Lately when I hear this term, I have to chuckle to myself because a “battle” seems so mild and finite compared to what I have been dealing with since the night I fled my ex's house with my newborn son. A “battle” might be an appropriate title when the case is between two rational parents.  If you are dealing with a sociopath in a child custody case, however, you are probably experiencing what feels more like a war.  Some battles are won and some are lost, but it is never just ONE battle with a person like this.  I am blessed to be able to share my war stories in hopes to give others ammunition that I didn't have (and maybe even gat …

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