How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Advice requested please

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    • February 10, 2023 at 12:32 am #69726
      polestar
      Participant

      Hi – I have previously posted about my brother (brought up with him but actually my biological cousin) who discarded me and told me that he no longer considers me to be his sister and will no longer communicate with me about anything personal. I really did nothing to deserve this treatment. And actually he had done much abuse towards me that I always overlooked. Anyway, I finally got through the healing about this last discard but here is my dilemma – we both have the same birthday one year apart and though he said he would no longer communicate with me about anything personal ( which he never did anyway ), we would always wish each other “ Happy Birthday “. Our birthday is coming up and I can’t decide if I should ignore him this year and not send him Bday wishes or if I should be the bigger person and send him a simple “ Happy Birthday “ email. So it comes down to going No Contact on him or Detached No Contact on him. He probably will not reply and then in the future I just won’t send BDay messages at all, but I am not sure what to do for this year. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal compared to what others are undergoing, but would still appreciate advice. Thanks so much.

    • February 10, 2023 at 3:01 pm #69736
      emilie18
      Participant

      Polestar – he has already made your choice for you You say he “discarded me and told me that he no longer considers me to be his sister and will no longer communicate with me about anything personal.” Birthdays are very personal. Going full no contact is actually respecting HIS desires – and your sanity.

      Best wishes – and happy birthday!

    • February 10, 2023 at 3:12 pm #69737
      polestar
      Participant

      Hi Emilie – thank you for your succinct post that brought me so much clarity, It is so strange that when I read what you wrote, it all seems so obvious – yet alone with my own thoughts it was anything but. You are so right on and I will definitely take your advice. Actually just the thought of not having to contact him brings me relief and joy. Thank you so much and many blessings to you.

    • February 11, 2023 at 12:10 pm #69741
      Donna Andersen
      Keymaster

      Good advice Emilie. Happy Birthday Polestar!

    • February 11, 2023 at 1:25 pm #69742
      emilie18
      Participant

      Polestar – you are welcome. Sometimes the hamster wheel in my head just won’t stop and I need someone outside the cage to say – “whoa there…let’s think about this”! Glad I could be that wheel-stopper for you. This forum has so often stopped MY hamster wheel. You guys are awesome!

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