- This topic has 11 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
-
I was 1 year and a half with someone I believe was a sociopath or has any other mental disorder. At first he was the most amazing, he told me he loved me very soon and showered me with love, travels, gifts, attention and other things. Then he started being too controlling, he accused me of cheating without any prove, checked my phone even in front of me, punished me with silent treatments for very silly things. I started to being paranoid, even hiding texts from my mom, I felt guilty and I didn’t know why.
He was totally indifferent to my tears or pain, he said extremely hurtful things to me and lied about everything.
The last time I spoke with him, he told me to stay away from him, he told me that he was evil, that he was going to hurt me very much and that I will be better without him. I feel extremely confused because one day we were fine and the next day it was awful. -
Moni1609,
I personally believe they are aware, whether they have been officially diagnosed or not. Without knowing his family dynamic, I can’t say one way or the other for your experience. But I can say that mine was very aware. He had no friends in town, but when a childhood friend of his moved back to town, the two of them were thick as theives. He even “showed me off” to this friend with a knowing look that said… see, look what I got. I didnt realize it at the time, i was stupidly flattered. But looking back I am sure that this friend was aware of what my SP was, and most likely was one too. Think about it, disordered people would be the only ones that he could drop the mask in front of, and not be judged. That was the beginning of the end for us. That was when the cheating became obvious. He didn’t need me anymore now that his wingman was back, so the discarding of me was brutal. I finally left on my own, knowing something was very wrong, but not realizing exactly what it was until years later.
IMHO, your SP ending it is a blessing in disguise. You’ll come to know that in time. There are other threads on this topic on this site. Read and educate yourself!
Wishing you peace and clarity and strength! -
moni1609 – He told you that he is evil and will hurt you. BELIEVE HIM!!! This is the most direct warning you could ever get.
Do not think that you can cure him with your love. It will not happen. He will drag you down.
Make up your mind that you will have nothing to do with him. He may contact you again. he may say he made a mistake, he’ll change, he’ll treat you better. Do not believe that!! If you go back it will be worse.
Make up your mind to have No Contact with him. none at all.
-
-
READ THIS DEFINITION EVERYDAY HON:
Definition of evil
1 a : morally reprehensible : sinful, wicked an evil impulse
b : arising from actual or imputed bad character or conduct a person of evil reputationWHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIVE THEM!!!
He is telling you to RUN like HELL away from him!! PLEASE HEED HIS WARNING!!
My ex h, a sociaopth, told me how he was = “NOT A GOOD PERSON”, I chose to see the “good” in him, I chose to think that he could “change”….
Guess what, I stayed for over 12 years of marriage, and he broke me down emotionally & mentally every second of the day, to a point I literally crawled out of his hellish world, to get away from his evil mindset.
I now see him for who he is = PURE EVIL!! It’s time for you to do the same with this EVIL sociopath in your life.
THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE!!!
This guy will destroy you if you stay with him. He WILL break you down emotionally & mentally until you dont know which way is up & which way is down. He will love every second of tearing you appear! He will love every second of you crying!! He will love every second of you trying to crawl out of his hellish world. Sociopath LOVE to destroy good people.
SO HEED HIS WARNING & RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!!
It’s not easy. It’s a nightmare to live with them…but it is also a nightmare trying to find yourself again if you stay a long time. You have been in hell for 1 1/2…it will not be an easy road to heal…but you will heal much quicker now vs staying with him for more years.
Steven Hassan a cult & domestic abuse expert, author of Freedom of Mind, who has been on 60 minutes, CNN, Fox etc…states in a interview that you need to visualize your abuser in your mind next to the pictures of other evil people (i.e. Hitler or Charles Mason). This visualization works!! I was having trouble seeing my ex h as a very evil person…despite him telling me. So I tried Hassan’s method & now I see my ex for what he truly is = EVIL. Try this. Once you see him for what he true is and who he is telling you he is…
Then you can start healing your body, mind & sprit.
SENDING HUGE HUGS TO YOU!! ???
Donna & Terry (Lovefraud) have created a very safe place for all of use to chat & heal together. So keep posting!! You should be so so PROUD of yourself for having the courage to post here at Lovefraud.
WE HEAR YOU?, WE BELIEVE YOU?, AND WE ARE HERE FOR YOU?!!
Wishing you all the best.???
PS DONNA ADVISE IS SPOT ON!!
ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION EVERYDAY:
Do I need to run like HELL from this sociopath??
-
You state:
“he accused me of cheating without any” proof.”
He is most likely telling you HE is cheating on you!!
My ex told me the same, like most here.
He would yell at me telling me I “was cheating”…which he knew I would never cheat. Looking back, every time he brought this kind of craziness up HE was cheating. When I finally crawled out of his hell & sat on a counselors couch, I told her that I thought he cheated on me 8 to 12 times. She said more like 3 or 4 times that amount as that is what sociopaths do = serial cheaters. Now that I have healed a lot I agree with her number.
What this guy is doing to you by saying you are cheats is called “sociopath projection” (do a search here on LF and the net for this).
Also do a search on LF & the net for:
Sociopath smear campaign
Sociopath triangulation
Sociopath projection
Sociopath pathological lying
Gas lighting abuseDO YOU THINK HE WAS CHEAT ON YOU DURING YOUR RELATIONSHIP??
-
-
I filed for divorce last week and am giving up the 5 years,of which only 14 months married, because after this recent lengthy abandonment I began to see what I was letting him do to me psychologically. Found myself extremely depressed and realized I was not sleeping, eating, functioning at a lesser level and asked myself: how much more wasted time and effort am I willing to give this pig? Friends are crucial at this point, a support system is crucial at this point. I knew I needed to for a long time before now but did not have the mental fortitude to do it, its been so difficult to see him for what he truly is. He is happily continuing his sex addictions to porn and online dating/sex sites, I think he has progressed to an obsession, staying aroused. He’s looking like hell, this makes me happy, and I know now what those 30 minute restroom breaks were. Why his anger issues increased, why he was becoming less human so to speak. Huge emotional detachment from me and this relationship. He stopped doing damage little bit at a time and just dumped me and our 4 dogs and this life thoroughly and quickly. Started living out of his truck and his new boss tells he is even asking him if he wants some of his Viagra ( took 180 tablets from 2 recent refills when he left) AND is showing his boss women on his sites, bragging. I don’t understand the “why” of having this addiction apparently all his life did it now escalate into what appears to be pretty much a 24/7 addiction.Is that even physically n mentally possible?? Anyway, short n sweet: was it worth keeping him to keep TRICARE. HELL NO! I choose to struggle financially rather than struggle with him in my life. I will survive because at some point I want to be able to look in the mirror and see the old me before him. Not this woman he broke in so many ways. God bless us all in our struggles, lets fight these monsters, ladies! Lets meet here in this wonderful place Donna has created for us. For this community of shattered souls.
-
sleuth66, You should be so so proud of yourself for making these steps out of this abusive relationship and cutting ties with this sociopath in your life.
Filing for divorce is not easy. You question everything, over & over until that one day, you just have had enough. You are there. You see the truth. You see that he will never change!!
Wishing you all the best with your new wonderful future!!
Sending you huge hugs!! ???
Yes!! God Bless us all. Well stated!! ?
-
-
I also believe that mine can recognise. Apart from all the crazy hoovering and sociopathic behaviour, he had a moment of clarity when he looked in my eyes and said
You are such a good person, I’m not – you deserve someone decent.
They must have flashes of guilt when they will admit this to themselves and then quickly fall back into their crazy behaviour.
I believe that this is the only time he has had genuine recognition since I left him. -
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.