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Hello All,
After a traumatic relationship to a psychopath, I’m slowly starting to piece together the enormity of his deception.
I’m just wondering if anyone can shed light on cheating during the love bombing phase? Is it likely that the psychopath cheats during this phase? If so, what has your experience been like?
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That’s such an interesting question. I was only aware of the cheating in my relationship at the end. He only admitted to cheating at the very end. I would imagine anything goes with the disordered but I’ll be interested to hear what others say!
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Hi LoveDefrauded,
Sociopaths are serial cheaters. They are always looking for a hookup and to con others. When I finally escaped my ex h, he had 5 women on the hook all at once. In two different states.
Like you I had to unravel all the lies & manipulation when I first left. I found these 5 women. But, he cheated from day one. I told my counselor when I left about his behavior & she told me he was a psychopath and I told her I though he cheated on me at least 8-12 times looking back.
She told me it was more likely 3 to 4 times that number…because ALL socioapths & psychopaths are serial cheaters. I belive her figure is more acurate as he travelled all over the world and had easy access to cheat. Which makes me sick to my stomach that he put my health at risk. thank goodness I never caught any thing from his serial cheating. Others here at love fraud sadly were not so lucky.
I literally had no interest in dating him what so ever. But, the love bombing started immediately by coming to my home without calling first after meeting him thru a mutural friend and also calling my home 10 or more times while I was at work.
I also, had zero interest in living with him or marrying him. He just steam rolled past my objection. Or got others involved to converse me to marry him or not leave him once I was married and caught him cheated.
it’s very common for them to to hand out at strip joints and hire hookers.
I’m sorry that you endured the hell of a socioapth and now are unraveling his lies and your mind also. It’s hard at first to deal with the emotional aftermath of trauma inflicted by a sociopath. But, it’s necessary to find peace and to heal.
it’s not easy hon…to do this work..unraveling the nightmare of lies & manipulation. keep asking questions, venting and reading here at Lovefraud.
And also look after your health. The stress the socioapth pust their victims under during the relationship also needs to be adressed.
Lookup Symptoms of adrenal fatigue see sites like Dr Lam. com and Adrenal fatigue. org..I have zero affliation to these sites…when I left my nerves were shot and lucky a friend guided me to a doctor that understood I was suffering from adrenal fatigue. He gave me dr wilson’s adrneal vitamins and that is how I found those two websites and read/watch their videos.
Basically the adrneal forumal is B complex for one and the other you can look up the ingredients and find them at your local grocery store or health food store. I would also recommend that you build up your gut flora too = good health/good mood too.
Wishing you all the best sending you huge hugs.💜💜💜
take care.
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Hi Love,
It’s ok not to have “proof”…what’s important is your gut is telling you the truth..and that you listen to your gut always.
One of the reasons we “accept” or are in “denial” of their cheating at the time is these evil sociopath literally put their vicitms under hypnosis and trance. It’s crazy!! But true.
Donna has some articles on this but, you can also do a search on the net for “sociopath hypnosis” and “sociopath trance’. this will help your mind open up and you will start to see the truth in your mind & gut about what he did.
Just take it slowly with regards to thinking about what your ex did and your mind opening up because this can become overwhelming to your mind, body & spirit.
Let out your tears, anger (in a journal not at anyone), what ever you are feeling..FEEL those feelings..it can be scary to feel the fellings & have all these memories finally come up to your conscious mind. But, it’s part of the healing process.
YOu can write in a journel or come here and vent or even call Donna (she has a life coach program for a small fee- see the home page).
I promise you will get thru this healing process and come out stronger then you were prior to meeting your ex. Just be kind to yourself during the healing process…it took me a good 6 months to stop sobbing (uhhh🙀) but, then one day the tears just stopped. Just like that. the sobbing was not missing my ex h, I was done with him & his evilness..the sobbing was my brain healing from the trauma. Interesting how the brain & body know how to heal not just from a cut on the hand but, also trauma.
The important think is not to stuff your feeling down. Donna writes about this. Also best to avoid alcohol, treats, drugs etc = anything that is addictive because the socioapth creates a addiction to them..crazy. Donna write about this too. so do a search on this.
You will also go thru the “griefing stages” just like a death so, look this up also so you know what is happening to you with each stage and it’s not scary to deal with your feeling.
Sending you hugs!! 💜
here are some things to look up here on lovefraud & net:
Sociopath idolize, devalue discard
sociopath triangulation
sociopath smear campaign
gas lighting abuse
(sociopath all do these evil things to control everyone and to make sure if someone catches on to their con game they have already planted lies to discredit others.)
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ps look up here on lovefaud for “Steven Hassan book Freedom of mind book review by Donna
and
The gift of fear by Gavin Debecker (this book is a must read) your library may have this book.
do a serach on you tube for “Oprah Gavin Debecker Gift of fear’
this book reminds us to always listen to our gut instincts = our gut is NEVER wrong.
Think about the first time you met your ex and your gut instincts.
Most of us saw 🚩RED FLAGS 🚩but ignored our gut instinct and were to damn nice and should have slammed the door shut right from the get go.
Make a list of 🚩RED FLAGS 🚩your ex gave off.
My first impression meeting my ex thur a mutural friends was he as a “tornado” (that was literally my thought) second time meeting him “he is crazy”…yep…my gut was correct.
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I don’t have any confirmation but I just assume that mine was cheating right from the very start. Because at the end he was so blatant about it without any remorse or guilt or shame or apology.
He simply feels entitled to cheat. He feels like there is nothing wrong with him cheating. No moral issue at all.
So with that mindset I can’t imagine why he would not cheat at any time. It’s as normal to him as eating or drinking. So why would he ever not cheat.
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Sometimes it’s an addiction to sex that a disordered person has, but bottom line, this is disordered behavior. It’s not going to make sense to you or non-disordered people, it’s the essence of the nature of someone with a personality disorder. Just assume they’ll do the dumbest of things because they’re acting/reacting in an emotional/addictive way.
What matters is you break this bond (which is addictive & also trauma inducing) as soon & as thoroughly as you can. Tend to yourself, put yourself first as much as you can & talk to people who have not only been through a situation like yours but have gotten post-traumatic growth from it.
It’s not your fault, but it is your problem to resolve. Just know others have solved this dilemma favorably before you & you can do this too.
No contact will help your emotions to settle & your logical abilities to return.
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