Crossword puzzles

[vincent]

Ive been unfortunate enough to have fallen for two females whom I now firmly believe are Sociopaths. In both relationships both females were intelligent and well versed, during the time i was with each of them i noticed how good they were at Crossword Puzzles especially the cryptic kind. it may just have been a coincidence but im now wondering if its a commonality with sociopaths.

[polestar]

Hi Vincent –
How strange it seemed at first when I read your post – I was thinking that it seemed so coincidental that both women were good at crossword puzzles. Then it suddenly hit me that my ex was into crossword puzzles ! I never thought too much about it because it was something that did not interest me in the least. But now that you have brought my attention to the matter, I’m thinking that there may indeed be some connection somehow with character disorders and some part of the brain, that fires along certain pathways. Also, I had another friend who was on a lot of anti depression medication, and it seemed like she didn’t have a connection to her emotions. Anyway, one incident I found strange at the time ( which I think may have a relevance to this topic ), was that I had some problems with some property that I owned regarding permits and such, and it was full of intricate details with the county. I found the whole thing frustrating and annoying, but she was totally enthralled by it all and really wanted to continue to talk about it, telling me how interesting it was to her. I think this is another example of the phenomenon. So thank you for bringing up this point about crossword puzzles. It really added a piece to the puzzle of these people with character disorders ( pun intended ! )
Blessings

[vincent]

Hello Polestar and Thank you,
My first partner, Ill call her J, would never put the newspaper down until she had finished the crossword, whereas my second partner, Ill call her P, would occasionally put the paper down to give her brain a rest or to do something else, on one of these occasions I thought I might have a look at what clues she might have been struggling with and try to help with the answers, I think there might have been about five clues she hadnt managed to fathom out, I managed to answer two of the clues but I couldnt answer them all. when she came back after doing what ever it was I said I had managed to answer two but that I could not finish it, she let me know she was not pleased by my trying to help and bent my ear accordingly, fast forward a little and a similar situation arrived, she went to have a shower so, you know what Im going to say yes I did the same again but this time I completed it, well when she realised what I had done she gave me what for again, I really did it out of devilment to see her reaction and it was just the same as before, heres the kicker though, I bought the newspapers, it was always me that drove to hers, so as a was on my way I would call at the local shop and buy a few bits and pieces that I thought she might need, milk etc and a newspaper, perhaps there was a lesson there I should have picked up on, I know in some ways it seems trivial and petty but she put me in my place for sure.

[polestar]

Hi Vincent-
The scenario you depicted with your ex is of great importance. We already went over that there may be a component involving how the brain works regarding those puzzles. What I would like to point out now is about the issue of power in relationships that we are not aware of. Competition is a component of power and it is fine when people are actually doing an activity where competition is an integral part like sports. But it is not healthy to use when trying to be close to someone in a relationship. Having fun together is. So when you saw that your ex enjoyed doing crosswords, and tried to get involved in her interest, she could have taken it as a happy opportunity for both of you to have something that you could enjoy together. Even if it wasn’t something that was high on your personal interests, I’m sure that you would have been happy to have the opportunity of sharing. Like in the mornings over a cup of coffee, you both could have discussed clues and could have had a lot of fun together. As it was, she perceived your interest and wish for involvement as a competition, and thus felt the need to put up unnecessary walls to keep you out. Naturally, you would have seen her initial reaction as being rather strange, so you did a little experiment to see if she would have the same reaction again, which she did. So she was unable to be open to enjoying your being close, it seems to me. What you discovered was called ” a critical incident “, which is something that in and of itself seems of little significance, but that gives a definite insight into a person’s character. And it is important to take these critical incidents very seriously when they show up in a relationship. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings

[vincent]

Hello Polestar Thank you again for enlightening me,
as there are other instances relating to episodes of critical incidents, I feel it would be more beneficial if I were to write my story.
So, me not being much of a writer I will endeavour to cast my mind back to the beginning and attempt to cobble together my story, it may take me a little while, there is so much to reflect upon and put into words but I will do my best and try to condense the facts and not be too long winded.

[polestar]

Hi Vincent –
I very much look forward to reading your story in however much time you wish to take about it.
Blessings

[polestar]

PS Vincent – I meant that I look forward to reading your story, and to also to give you feedback and the best insights that I can glean.
Blessings

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