Dilution of term “narcissist”

[sept4]

Does anyone else feel like the term “narcissist” is being completely diluted?

Nowadays it’s just used for everyone who is full of themselves. So many people describe their ex or other people they don’t like as a narcissist that the term barely holds meaning anymore.

When I started researching my ex’s behavior more than a decade ago there was not much information online about narcissists and sociopaths. The disorder seemed very hard to understand and very hard to explain to other people.

But nowadays there is so much information online about narcissist and sociopaths that the opposite is happening. Everyone is accusing other people of being narcissist.

So a decade ago people barely heard of narcissism and did not understand it. Nowadays everyone is accusing others of narcissism. So in both cases both then and now the term is really not taken seriously at all.

2012 – my ex is a narcissist – “what do you mean?”

2024 – my ex is a narcissist – “yeah lol so is everyone else’s ex”

[emilie18]

sept4 – I believe when people start hearing a “new” word they want to try it out. They want to be part of the latest Big New Thing. So it sounds a whole lot more trendy to say someone is a narcissist rather just an a$@*ole. Same thing is happening with “gaslighting”. I have heard this used to describe all sorts of evil actions, from simple liars to anyone who just doesn’t agree with someone. Sadly, this does dilute the actual meaning and power of the terms as most people have no clue of what they really mean. In a way, it is good to get the words out there, to make people aware of the evils that do exist, but on the downside, it makes some just yawn and shrug and say “oh no – not again”. And for those who are going through the agony of figuring out just who the heck they are with, it makes it a lot harder to pinpoint what is actually going on – or to get anyone else to believe them. Not sure what the answer is, other than to correct those who use the words incorrectly. Ideas, anyone?

[sept4]

Emilie yes I agree 100% it’s happening with the term gaslighting too. It is used online for just simple differences of opinion now.

This is a disservice for those suffering actual abuse from actual narcissists and actual gaslighting. It just won’t be taken seriously because the terms are so common now.

[funluvmusic25]

I would agree, there are so many words that are over-used or misused. I feel if you’ve experienced a relationship with a true narcissist and/ or sociopath the meaning of these words take on a whole new meaning. Their motives and behaviors are much different from someone who is just full of themselves. Gaslighting takes on a whole new meaning when your partner is guilty of doing that to you……it is not just a difference of opinion, rather they are literally trying to make you look crazy. Another word that comes to mind is alcoholic. If you witness someone that is truly an alcoholic you see the self destruction it brings. Some may accuse one of being an alcoholic when a social happy hour drink does not align with their notion of their non-alcoholic habits.

Had it not been for this site and many books I’ve researched I would not have known what a true narcissist meant. It helped explain what I was experiencing with my ex-N and it helped make me realize I wasn’t going crazy after all. With this knowledge I think it helps us notice the signs with other people that we may initially miss or excuse. Some may not be a true narcissist, yet we can keep them at arms length until we fully understand them.

In essence, words are just words- they can be over-used and trendy, however the experience tells the true story.

[Donna Andersen]

Lovefraud launched in 2005, and at that time there was only 1 other website, a forum actually, talking about psychopaths. The words sociopath, antisocial and narcissist were barely used at all.

When I was writing the content for the original website, I debated using the terms psychopath or sociopath, which I thought were synonymous. They aren’t, which I know now. Narcissist wasn’t even a consideration.

So for a few years people talked about psychopaths and sociopaths – S/P for short. Then, seemingly by osmosis, people started talking about narcissists. They described exactly the same behavior that psychopaths and sociopaths exhibit, but called the perps narcissists.

Personally, I believe that they actually are dealing with psychopaths or antisocials, but use the term narcissist because it’s less scary.

People still think psychopaths are serial killers, although this is not necessarily true. So, if they believe the person they are describing hasn’t killed anyone, he or she can’t possibly be a psychopath. That’s not true either.

This is why I use the term “sociopath.” The word is no longer a clinical definition. When it was coined in 1930, it meant, “anything deviated or pathological in social relationships.” It’s a good umbrella term for all the bad behavior.

[sept4]

Thank you Donna. I’ve also seen the term “malignant narcissism” for the type of antisocial behavior we are talking about.

I think in clinical terms it all falls under “antisocial personality disorder.” I agree that “sociopath” is a good umbrella term.

My ex like all sociopaths lies cheats steals and manipulates without remorse. However he also has a severe criminal record and is a convicted felon. I’ve started describing him as a criminal rather than a sociopath/narcissist. People understand the term “criminal” much more than the terms sociopath or narcissist.

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