Disordered to my death and denial

[margaux07]

I am not sure of the definitin of disordered. but i feel my mother and father were something. i said my fahter was a depressive in deinal paranoid and delusional and mohther narsisitic and i became a victim of two of them and family and am in middle of death and murder games going on that stem from that. I also have had a string of abusive substance persons but had learn my lessons in love and life at young age but these people were put in mylife as means for someone to do something to make me sick and it is connected to the story of father who induce MSBP on me. ptsd which turned me into an asshole magent or bully magnet and to strong to be defeated.i suffered untreated PTSD fom MSBP and came out of it as a stellar survivor. ok it was like Columbo maybe that someone did not like fact i did not die and came up over every asshole creep abuser and family who mistook me for afool an someone they could scape goat and some homocidal threats of bullies in art world and persons who i got rid of in my ride up as persons who were put in my life to deestroy a seconc life. most of them on cocaine and felt they were cool and had serious issues teested a miracle life. As a family who began tosuffer issues as i began to cure myself of the ones they put on me in a sick scenario at age 18. mos of them dismiss it as nothing, and at same time want serious attention to their own situation in life. which is Narcissism. I also knew as o rose ou tof my story and abuse trauma and was not given proper concern. i would need one day one perosn who was pro me. and i only person who was that was my boss wife and she and he died wo years apart. i sometimes ponder if they were killed died to make it easier for someone to get to me before i made it where i was going to take me down. they and my job i got fired from were my support as i was coming ove my 12 year of abuse and l ife.. torture from a psychopath in streets of nyc someone who got into my wounds as runa away from MSPB. all of my family are some how infected and did not care .not one perosn stood to protect o take cocern for future me, or what was giong on. and exposed themself asn being less then loving, one of them one sister. IM asking if this sounds normal. And is this sociopeth as she tormented me while i suffered an wanted others to torment me as a sick game while i was suffering and paid very litle attention to what was going on and i escaped all of the lies corrupt lowering of me and came back to real me. who was not the mentaly ill lie my fahter told to keep me out of art school. i was also rising as agenius at things and law andmedical making me a very serious threat to someone i was an artit who could do anyting and applied myself to say least and every day for 12 years of torture of someone who held me a hostage in agame i went over my case of abuse and doctors who never removed me. day in day out and i was natrual born lawyer.. as well as a medical mind and simple. i final escaped when no one cared and walk back into life from feral and began to recover me, and began also to trave to Jamaica wi where i met up with a sad situaiton in the run in of life into the flesh and blood of abuse and terror of person who terrorized me i escape i could not see for 12 years of horrors silent an dalone. someone who felt he to was psychic minded and on cocaine and could abuse without any restraint. as i had to ask for help in cases of this. no one cared takin gme 3 years to escape him. he was as violent and mentaly abusive and a test buti seem to have for some part a genius to deal with people laoving child heart and also a mouth to open an n one hear or care about my recovery. i got rid of him and next one came in my path. i was not looking for men. i wanted to heal and be able to live my life an protect my mirale life which was a rare miracle an recoery was amazing. i made al of the sensible steps alone while no doctor helped me..i kept advanceing and growing into my real self and have fun. i met up wiht one person after next as cocaine addicted skateboarder who also had no sense i had no intent to be in this peson life but any time i see fear or threat, that trigger soemthing in my brain and cause damage to some are of brain and then leads to a dyslexic reaction. prior to al of this i went to school wih a person who might have conjure allof my sufeing up as jelous tactic, in art school . a sadistic person who admited later to be jelous of me and also had show of his psychic powers and had a mentally il brother who died mysticaly to. i saw he ill trated me under the fake diagnosis and games and a competetive person who had some mean spirit and might had to do with brothers death. my ife was turned inside out and i never did not suspecet this came from a person or intent or curse. i escaped it and bean to rise to have a list of perosns put in my path to defeat me. all way up past a skateboarder i got rid of with powers to do me in he said, and singer and dj and pimp who despite i had leanr my lessons in ife to well imagine himself more smart that he was going to take my life rfrom . Taking three years each time persons traumaticly got past my guard .i kept rising up mkaing steps of progress while no doctor helped me when isufferd set backs and i did have a strong directin and god alone took me up each time but the lack of medica concern to blows left me also a beacon for more o fthem crusing the world jungle and air waives for a target. so my fahter set me u as a 18 years old for the list of persons who were putin my life to abuse me. when one of them see or find stumble on a peson thrashing in waters of life wounded or other. That person make you their target. i was abuse terrorize and stalked by pesons like this and as i was learn to open my mouth to avoide them. no one cared and when they got in and put stres on my overloadd recovery. doctors should have responded with concenr.i was a one in one zillion to be given back a new life almost trouble free carefree healing myslef from serious things and then the death of my bss and wife years into it. more than 19 totaly tspeak walk again and regain social life and toher from 12 years of torture.. i suffered extreme ptsd, and trauma and feral life and was taken at age 18 as a healthy survivor of my own bulimia where i got over that and came up honor student no issues no drugs other. my father took away 12 years of life and my friends and school. i made one step after 12 yeasr of beg them to tell trugh and they refused . so i had to take up their sins and recovery of my life in Jamaica left me a lucky person. I was also the star pupel o flife and recovery adn self taught where doctors just did not get it or refuse or were told to .im wondering nad feel also unsure of inent of one sister who came afte me and made a more bold effort to try t take me back after i cut them off and escape then she did in 12 years of sufeing and no one in my family got it or what they did or who did what to me. i made leaps of faith and cut them off and my life became free and natural driven and rising. in my job people made threats and try to abuse me and keep me down. i rose up over it all an lis tof sick abusers in jamiaca and keep giong up. in last few years i met up on a few more psychicly and mentaly abusive pimps and others. none of htem i ask god for were put there as i sense them , for more obstacle. one pimp who was a dredlock,womanizer who lived off of persons money and could not take me for afool. none of the persons put in my path took me as a fool but were intent to. they just induce stress and finaly the pimp made bold effort to crack me and despite i got to doctors fearing what this could do. oi was left to it alone. he was a very obnoxius and distressful person who stalk women n negril and target them for marriage and green card and for cash,and suport and felt that was people purpose and i was not a fool i was kind but not to kind and loving. so he target me for death, despite he got a new woman to take him up. i escape but not fast enough before something happen two yeas ago that lead to a break, all sudden one minute i was having fun alone without him. sent him on a trip to a funeral paying his way and then asked him to help me with something and he sai yes. all wondering and then i forgot . he is realy kind at one moment and loving and then wil turn into a abuisve monster. i forgot for a moment an lead to a distresful over load and then i felt my mindan dlife just crack. sending meinto a tail spin and perosns trying to get to that . My life was at best part of life and talent in years and faster i got rid of all weight on me, better and when i got to doctors after leaving him and suffer serious situation. again i suffered a year without concern. lainding back in kingonston , and the after year suffering i felt my life come up.. this time i was not goitn to let anyone take it from me and in two months of a trip isenese that that person i left wnated stil to kill me, I was tested but remain on control of my life which was blessed. i also sense soething very evil waiting for a shot to kill me.. a man was in hotel who i got a red flag as a man or position to avoid and might be the perfet person for this perons to kil me with. so to not give devil any means to fuck with ut avoid. i did but circumstance put man into myife after two of last months of my life, and at piont where i had no life or energy to geneate to deal with tht kind of sitiotn outside of taking care of me serious damage i incured in a bad move, and then, taking care of it in stride alone in peace. it was at moment i was taking care of me when this pesron enter the game and drove my life into over load and i watched a self of me who was not me but an altered person designed by some evil force being put in to life of a very particular man and who had no idea who i was or what my real life was and it lead to some very evil traumatic games and encounter that lead to some extreme trauma and then extrme deprivatin of medical concern for me and let me to suffer the worst n most evil thing tht was so perfectly timed by something satanic that i cant describe to have survive and gievn aperfect life. still hold on to it despite almost being dead for a year. stand hon my feet and be alie na dfeel my self and spirit and lucky and then all sudden in one unguarded second that life began to go into a demolition moda. where it was adding a person and a factor to a over loaded mind that needed no abuse no contact even but as soon as he was put next to me while in a very evil altered mind and unable to prepare for it. i began to go into or someones idea of a perfet evil game of sabatage and death. it took a year to kil me, using likes of doctors who just seem to ignore me, even if i was in seerious shape. 19 years of work and a brilliant mind and life and alot of witchcraft and it was horrible to see evering in my ife being ike the world trade center hit over and over, and then just like this one trigger to add to it. just sent it into a collapse and me hold it off drag myself to doctor and be told. see uu in 16 days. im going in vacatin. a Md not a shrink. my life began to die and be left in palces that wer anti what is the perscribed first aid for the wounds i incured and no way that i could inspirte that doctor to move to spare me i held of and left pushed into places in life and witness th systematic reversal of all of my tlaent life perosnality an be driven to place of instant madness. for all of my struggle i remained boyant and defiant child like on toes personality and mind and saw thorugh traps and other. and even this one but i got nixed of my entire life using one man, his positin=on personality and other, y someone outside him, it was so tragic my midn and self could not endure the grief to sew who i was as extrodninary the work it took to keep alive in game be taken to death and no one react. one sister who might wanted it like that. and a list of perosns who made threats to me to kill all my birds with one stone and id need a straight jacket by time they got done with me and never see light of day again and puke if i became famous. i outwit this voice or perosn follow me for year and all sudden the end of my life came just as i was enjoy freedome from every person who was put in my path to defeat me.. i had no intent to add more risk and i wil never get to be a person again from the lack of medical and human cocnern to my life and story. i worked very hard made my life my art and using a man and a list of them was a evil plot.it also nixed me or made it harder to prove abuse and was in intent for someone to induce mental illness on me to cover up the fake diagnosis. which is guest hwat pretty much a obvious finger to guess who might be shelter and not want to let go of the abuse and diagnosis as a child and controle me who would not want me to open my big mouth and expose some evil thigns done to me. ???? anyone here a good detective here who was voices i heard making threats. from a list of evil ex bf to family member all who falunted psychic power and person who escape evil and began to be able to talk and walk and thrie over people . there was not one perosn here who stood between any neglect or abuse n my lfe. outside my boss and wife. i was me and god alone to fame and rising up as apersonality and charmed. i was young and very lucky in mind and my life was my pride. i did it al right consistantly and had no substance abuse. now in plauged with sickness and although one sister pretend to concern, she said one thing to me that set me off about what lawyer would care about this. where htey should gotten legal help for me from doctors who just collected money adn did not save me.. anyone think this is not correct or that someone here is not kosher in this story. THere are list of sick peole and no heros. i had god as my hero and then they removed god and i began to go to hell , and not come back. i resisted and got hit over over by more suckerpunches and now am the textbook caseof mentalb broken illness and lost it all.all of my talent personality and intellegence needed to heal and to defy doctors and to carry out a lawsuit for justice to 15 yeasr of abuse. pluss throwing me int likes of family i had program to cut off because they did not realy take concern of my life.. properly or admit to the things that went on. i did realy good alone, but i did meet up on some pirates on road and my 911 were left unresponded to persons who were going to take my soul out and were given it . after i only got to live with it 19 years.. it like im back38 years ago in hell.. sad..

[markpetterson321]

nice

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