Do they ever go away?

[lisad1082]

So, I have the typical narcissist/sociopath love story….. love bombed, devalued, discarded…. TWICE. By the same person. Yep. I’m that dumb. I’m not going to go into the details of it because it’s the “same” story as everyone else. After the first time I was left completely destroyed, lower than I’d ever been in my entire life. So naturally, 3 months later, I took him back. And he discarded me again. This time hasn’t been nearly as bad, I think because I saw it coming. I wasn’t completely blindsided this time. If anything, I’m more just disappointed and angry with myself for letting him back in. But I’m healing, and I feel a peace that I haven’t felt in well over a year since before I met him.

Anyway, my question is: will he ever really go away? I have gone No Contact, but the first time I did too, and so he started calling me at work and showing up at my house. And in the year and a half that I’ve known him, I’ve seen him “reconnect” with several ex’s that he discarded before me (and a couple that he cheated on me with and discarded while WITH me). I guess I am just curious about others experiences…. do the narcopaths ever go away? Will I continue to hear from him sporadically for the rest of my life? I guess I’m just trying to brace myself and have some idea of what to expect…. Thank you!!

[Sariel113]

Hi Lisad1082,

In my experience they do come back. In fact, after letting him in for the 2nd time thinking that I could change him he began the old song and dance routine causing me to leave him. Of course this happens each time you call them out, then comes the silent treatment and when you confront them on that they rage and we run for the hills. Well at least I did. The first time he came back with the I’m sorry, you are a good woman crap was 7 months later. I let him in and like you regretted it, but learned something so amazing. I learned that he is deranged. Like you the second time was less of a blow, because although it still hurt I accepted that no one can help these people and that it wasn’t me. I went no contact and lo and behold 6 months later I get a Halloween card and my locket which I had fought tooth and nails to get back. Of course I broke contact, but not because I wanted him back. I wanted him to never send anything to my home, because I was in a relationship. Also, I am in love with the person I’m with. He knows it, so I know he did this intentionally so I don’t move on. I used this opportunity to return his tags, (thank God!). He apologized for the demise of he relationship, (liar!) asked me to keep 1 tag and he asked if he can keep in touch with me. I said, Heck no! to both and that we are no longer attached and never to contact me again, because I had moved on. I have no regrets, because I was able to get many things off my chest, including me knowing that he’s a sociopath and that I knew that he cheated on me and everyone he’s been with. I found out he lost his home, IRS is after him and many other things. I honestly feel that he came back because I have the money to save his house. Today, I feel nothing for this man, so in essence him coming back help me get closure. I actually saw what a pathetic loser this man is. How karma is kicking his ass while I am with someone who loves me, (even got a tattoo of my name and my face on this chest). He treats me like a queen. Yes they do come back. I have blocked everything just like before, but one thing is different this time. I don’t have anything of his. He has my things, so he will come back with pretending some drama, but this time I will not answer. I am truly free. Please do the best to move on and heal. They are not worth our time. They are in a time vortex which they can never ever escape. If you stay, you will be in the vortex too. I have so much love and peace now and this only lasted a little over a year and it was pure hell. I hope that you find your way. Peach and Love in your journey.

[Dr.ray]

No! They never go away! In his/her mind you are their possession.You showed him/her love and compassion something there incapable of EVER doing!. You did nothing wrong. You were just being YOU! My psychopath commented on EVERTHING I did. To what I was wearing, what I said, where I was going. It’s all about power and control!. He also had a very bad temper! He was like a ticking time bomb! I never knew what would be happening next.He tried to break my spirit. In the beginning he almost did only because I didn’t know. It took me years to finally realize what I was up against.Concentrate on your new relationship, and move on as best you can. lol

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