Friends

[thesmiths]

My ex-h isolated me during our 20 year marriage. I had to leave a job I loved after he left our home due to his stalking me. (There are guards on payroll & security cameras on the street.) They told me he was hanging out nearby quite a few times. The restraining order I had didn’t make me feel too safe. I left my area & moved around to make me hard to find. Again, it was a relief when he died. It was priceless not to have to look over my shoulder each time I heard a weird noise outside.

It has been almost four years since he died. It’s been difficult working through the PTSD he caused. I have made large strides.

Am ready to have platonic friends in my life. Boyfriends or relationships are on the back burner now.

I know it’s hard for adults to find new friendships. Then we have been in ongoing COVID lockdown in my city since March 2020. We are allowed outdoor activities only staying six feet away from others.

Have any of you who have been isolated due to a sociopath made acquaintances or friends?

I am thinking of doing some virtual meet ups. I belong to a support group for divorced Catholics which I’ve attended on Zoom since March 2020. It’s helped me feel more hopeful in recovery, but the setup isn’t conducive to friendship.

Thanks for any suggestions.

• This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by thesmiths.

[Donna Andersen]

thesmiths – the coronavirus pandemic has definitely made being in contact with other people difficult. Personally, I can’t wait for things to return to normal.

Do you have a dog? If not, maybe you should consider getting one. First of all, they are wonderful company. Secondly, walking a dog is a great, no-pressure way to meet people.

I my first dog for around 12 years. (He’s in my first book, ‘Love Fraud.’) He eventually died, and I always planned to get another one, but it took me 13 years. I finally got my new dog around 4 years ago.

Because of the new dog, I started walking around the neighborhood again and have become friendly with people that I didn’t know before. There’s also a dog beach. Dogs are natural conversation starters. In fact, I often know the names of my neighbors’ dogs, but not their names.

Here’s a tip – get a rescue dog that’s over 2 years old. Puppies are a lot of work, and you have to go through the “chewing stage,” and that’s when they trash your house. Plus, when the dog is at least 2, you can see what their temperament is. Friendly dogs are best for meeting people.

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