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I never knew what narcist is exactly; for the past week, I read 2 books and watched 50+ hours about them on YouTube.
Here is my story with a narc Latino woman:
I met her in March and invited her for dinner at my place after 2 months of texting. In the middle of the texting, she blocked me and came up with a new number. (red flag)
Never mind, I invited her for dinner; after the dinner we had sex, and she slept in my place.
That was Saturday and Sunday I told her we could see each other next weekend.
On Monday she started me love-bombing me with messages that she needed to see me ASAP.
Ok, she came on Monday with an orchid flower and some presents like raw honey, bananas, and massage oil.
From that time, she was coming every day at 8 p.m. and leaving for her “work” at 9:30 a.m. every morning.
After 10 days, she asked me to be in a relationship, but I said I needed more time, like 2 months.
She was talking about weddings, kids, and choosing names for the kids.
She was upset but continued love-bombing; we were meeting, but sometimes when I worked and she wanted to come and I said to come later, she was telling me I have a whore there.
The story continued… love-bombing, presents, and after 3 weeks 4/4, I woke up and said we could be in a relationship.
After 4 weeks, she moved to my house with all her clothes in a small room.
After “devaluation” started, I love-bombing, devaluation, drama for nothing, checking my phone, blocking my friends, and isolation.
She started packing and unpacking a hundred times and leaving me; all the time I stopped her and calmed her down with sex and nice words.
She got pissed even when I went alone with my dog for a walk, and I didn’t ask her if she wanted to go with me. Drama.
She came into a state when she wanted to get rid of all her clothes, so she had only a few suitcases, so she started to trim her clothes. Sick. That was calming her down. I let her do it after some days.
One day we went for a picnic with my dog, and my dog was without a leash. Police were on the road, and she figured out that I should put the dog on the leash. I said calm down, calm down. She freaked out and left me, and I went to the park alone with my dog. Over time she got drunk and texted me that she was drunk and I needed to come for her. I did after many calls and text messages. Again, she freaked out and started packing, and when I finally said, “Okay, leave the house. She started to demolish the wardrobe. Neighbours were looking at us because the main doors were open and the hall was full of suitcases. I called my best friend “a girl” to come and help me; she came and kicked her out.
I got drunk and drinking the next day, and she started to text me; she came back, and the story continued again.
Over time she bought a flight ticket to another island 3 hours from me, that she would leave in 3 weeks, and come back after 2 weeks and she will do some hotel room cleaning.
She already bought a return ticket 5 days before the flight, but over the week she called me and was drunk and speaking to her friends, and I said, I am going to work; have fun with friends; call me later. She got pissed and hung up and blocked me on WhatsApp. Blocking me on WhatsApp on a daily basis, or hiding profile pictures from me, so I think that she blocked me, and I have to beg her and call her back.
The next day I went to the hospital because I got diarrhoea and was sitting alone in the hospital and blocked. I came home; she unblocked me and sent some stupid stickers. I ignored her. After 3 hours, she sent me a text message saying that she would come for her things when she came back in the city.
I ignored her. The next day I texted her (2 days before the flight back) if she was coming back; she said she would stay so she could make more money, but she said that she would come back before one festival (that’s today).
She started to be very cold to me. I was very nice to her every day; she got some flu or COVID, and she was very sick for 2 weeks. She even told me she would come back already, but she can’t travel.
This was ongoing for 4 weeks; some day she said to me, Your girlfriend will not die. Next week she said to me, It’s over, and we are done.
Still, she was talking to me; she did a video call, and she said, I love you.
The next week she broke up with me, but we were still talking, and I was still begging her to think about the good and come back.
After was still the same ups and downs, and the week before the festival, she told me, she would think about coming and seeing each other.
After a few days, she texted me:
Good afternoon (emoji of the sun)
– I got dopamine – ooh good afternoon and sun
In 2 hours, she texted me:
“I am done with you; I have no feelings. It’s toxic; I don’t love you anymore.”
I asked her: can you call me and tell to my eyes?
She called me and gave me 5 seconds, and only what I heard was: Finish, Finish, Finish
Finally, I said to her everything: That she is egoistic, manipulative, and all these things.
She said I am egoistic and think only about myself.
She blocked me.
After 2 days, I used my different number to text her and wrote her a nice message that we could still be friends, she could come for her clothes, and we could have dinner.
No response.
After 2 days I got drunk, and over the night I sent her a message that I miss her and blah blah.
She just responded, Are you drinking?
The next day I wrote to her again: I miss you.
She just replied, Go sleep and take care of your health.
The last message I sent her was: I know that you had sex with somebody; that’s why you behave like this.
She said, OK.
After 3 days of finally my NO CONTACT, she texted me on both WhatsApp numbers and unblocked the main number: Hi, how are you?
Hoovering started…
I didn’t reply; the next day she removed her profile picture or hided from me, so I think she blocked me. Playing with my mind to call her back or find a way to contact her. I know I am not blocked; I can see her status.
I know that one day she comes back and buzzes on my doors.
Today is the festival day, and she bought tickets for my birthday. I am going there with my friends. I think she will text me tomorrow.
I hope I will be strong and not reply.
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lewis – I am so sorry for your experience. The woman is a sociopath. She will never be a suitable partner for you. Throw her and her stuff out of your house and go No Contact.
Stay strong and do not talk to her at all.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this chaos and pain. This is a very toxic, unhealthy relationship. RUN away from her and don’t look back! Stick to NO CONTACT even though it may be difficult at times. It seems you struggle with that when you’ve been drinking so maybe put that on hold for a while. Alcohol is something that many of us commonly use to numb the pain but it leads to poor choices like either reaching out to the person who is hurting us or having random hook ups to make us feel desirable. Neither of which is beneficial.
Be thankful you don’t have to go through a divorce with this woman or share children with her! Things will get better and there will be someone else in your future that you can have a healthy, loving relationship with that doesn’t include all this drama.
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Lewis — so sorry you got tied up with a complete narcissist. I believe women narcs can be worse than men – they can be much meaner and devious. Men tend to be physical and aggressive, while women play the passive aggressive game and pity party ploy. And, as a man, you want to protect and advise, so fall into their wicked trap. Now that you are aware of what she is doing, you CAN be strong and stay far, far away. And, yes, giving up drinking is a very wise choice. Stay blocked on all social media. Change your phone and the locks on your house. Tell your friends and co-workers what is going on and ask them to warn you if she shows up. As long as you give her even a sliver of an opening, she will start with the mental games again. Once you become too boring, she will find another victim. Wishing you peace and happiness.
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