• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths – narcissists in relationships

How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Forum
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Forum
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars

How do I word email to sociopath ex to propose one-time lump sum settlement?

You are here: Home / Topics / How do I word email to sociopath ex to propose one-time lump sum settlement?

How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Dealing with sociopaths in court › How do I word email to sociopath ex to propose one-time lump sum settlement?

  • This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by mdeare.
Viewing 3 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • February 16, 2019 at 7:41 pm #49049
      ymatwt4mg
      Participant

      My sociopath ex owes me a twice monthly alimony payment for 8 more years. He has a history of white collar criminal activity and having disregard for the law so I don’t trust he’ll keep up the payments. I’d like to email him and suggest we settle on a one-time lump sum payment so I can be free of him forever. I can offer that he pay me a total amount that’s considerably less that what he’d pay over the 8 years. However, since everything is a game to him and he enjoys having power and winning, how do I construct the wording of the email to pique his interest so he’ll actually consider making a deal with me? What should I say that is speaking a sociopath’s language? I really appreciate any suggestions!

      • This topic was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by ymatwt4mg.
    • February 17, 2019 at 2:22 pm #49055
      Donna Andersen
      Keymaster

      ymatw14mg – You are right to doubt that he will keep up the payments. Assuming that he has the assets to make a lump-sum payment, I would suggest that you make your email sound like he is winning. Sociopaths always want to win – so what would he consider to be a win?

      To be clear – don’t make your suggestion sound like it will be mutually beneficial. Make it sound like he is winning and you are losing.

      Some caveats: He may not agree to a lump sum payment because he wants to maintain control over you. Doling out money gives him a measure of control.

      Secondly, beware of giving him a bad idea. For example, if you are willing to take less money in a lump sum settlement, he may take the number you suggest and stretch it out over 8 years, saying that you really don’t need the original amount.

      Consider carefully what may happen – and whether reopening negotiations will be worth the risk.

      • February 18, 2019 at 10:22 am #49064
        ymatwt4mg
        Participant

        Donna – thank you so much for the feedback; you are spot on and I am taking your suggestions to heart. Regarding giving him a bad idea, I can frame it that I’m taking a big risk and if it doesn’t pay off, he’ll be an even bigger winner. Our final orders are binding and non-modifiable (after a a grueling 1 1/2 years in court including a team of forensic accountants) so by law, he isn’t able to change our agreement. I was watching a program about Ted Bundy recently and my reaction was, “wow, except for the murdering, my ex is kind of the same guy”. It was very sobering to say the least. I’d like to share my story on the forum but have some fear that someone might see it, figure out it’s him, and show it to him. Do you know if others hesitate to share for the same reason?

    • February 18, 2019 at 4:20 pm #49065
      Donna Andersen
      Keymaster

      ymatwt4mg – in all honesty, it might be best to leave well enough alone about your court orders, as long as he is paying. If he stops paying, then you have reason to go back to court and demand a lump sum payment. Of course, he may be diverting money and will then claim poverty. your best bet is to figure out how to make your own money.

      If you want to tell your story, it’s best to leave out identifying information. But I can say that these people engage in similar behavior, so your story may end up reading just like multiple others on Lovefraud.

    • February 19, 2019 at 2:26 pm #49072
      mdeare
      Participant

      I suggest going through an attorney

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Log In

Topic Tag: What to say in email to sociopath?

Primary Sidebar

Shortcuts to Lovefraud information

Shortcuts to the Lovefraud information you're looking for:

Explaining everyday sociopaths

Is your partner a sociopath?

How to leave or divorce a sociopath

Recovery from a sociopath

Senior Sociopaths

Love Fraud - Donna Andersen's story

Share your story and help change the world

Lovefraud Blog Recent Comments

  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
  • sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
  • Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”

Lovefraud Blog categories

  • Explaining sociopaths
    • Female sociopaths
    • Scientific research
    • Workplace sociopaths
    • Book reviews
  • Seduced by a sociopath
    • Targeted Teens and 20s
  • Sociopaths and family
    • Law and court
  • Recovery from a sociopath
    • Spiritual and energetic recovery
    • For children of sociopaths
    • For parents of sociopaths
  • Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
    • Media sociopaths
  • Lovefraud Continuing Education

Footer

Inside Lovefraud

  • Author profiles
  • Blog categories
  • Post archives by year
  • Media coverage
  • Press releases
  • Visitor agreement

Your Lovefraud

  • Register for Lovefraud.com
  • Sign up for the Lovefraud Newsletter
  • How to comment
  • Guidelines for comments
  • Become a Lovefraud CE Affiliate
  • Lovefraud Affiliate Dashboard
  • Contact Lovefraud
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme