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I loaned my ex boyfriend over $200k for his business when we were together for 5 years. I found out after I broke up with him (for not showing me his bank records) that he wasn’t part of the business when he asked me for the loans. He paid back $4k. He sent me many emails during the relationship stating that they were loans by me to him with an interest rate. I went to the police and gave a 2 hour statement to an officer and he said they would investigate but it would take over a year before my ex is charged, and he said he would send my 30 page statement to many people including the FBI. I got tired of waiting and asked for the officer’s police report after a year. He barely said anything in the report and wrote repeatedly that it is a civil not criminal issue. I bet he threw away my written statement. What can I do to get my ex prosecuted for theft by deception ?
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Good for you for reporting this. Ask the police for a copy of their report. But don’t count of them to pursue it rigorously. In their minds, they have better things to concentrate on – cases that will actually result in a conviction. Unfortunately, you may have to go after this scumbag yourself. Prosecutors rarely charge these scumbags because the burden of proof is so high – first they have to prove that you were not a willing participant, then that there was actual deception involved, that there was intent to NOT pay back the money and that there was specific intent to defraud. These proofs will be MUCH easier in civil than in criminal court. Then, even if you DO win your case, there is the problem of recovery. Chances are the money is long gone and whatever other property he has is in other people’s names. And then there is the cost. You are talking thousands and thousands of dollars for absolutely no guarantee of return. Con artists count on their victims NOT wanting to go through the time, cost and stress of persecution, so they can get away with these cons forever. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t – that is a LOT of money to lose. And you DO have proof that he promised to pay. Not sure what leverage you have – does he have a social media presence? A job? You can try to embarrass him into repayment (although these types have a story for everything) by publishing your story and proof…but be ready for the backlash. You can hire an investigator and/or attorney and sue him, then harass him with liens and levy’s for the rest of his life. Or you can let it go. The choice is yours.
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OMG this is aweful!!! Im so sorry this nightmare of a socioapth did this to you.
I know you must be in shock & heartbroken over this nightmare but, you are not alone. Keep coming here and post, vent & learn.
Sending you huge hugs!! 💙
The police literally do nothing in criminal cases now. I am not even sure what they do all day.
I would suggest you go to the FBI to file criminal charges yourself and also, your county prosecuters office to dicuss what legal actions you have. Call both offices prior & make an appointment. they work for the citizens so push for an appointment if they give you any issues.
Wishing you all the best. Keep reading everything here hon. This site is a blessing to all of us. Donna (LF creator) will have better info for you.
take care. 💙
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cdwestlund – I am so sorry for your experience. It sounds so familiar, because my ex-husband did the same thing.
This may very well be a civil matter, because he asked for a loan. Yes, he lied about being involved with the business, but from the point of view of the police, that would be hard to prove, so they may not want to try. We do have a webinar called, “How to report your abuser’s crimes so the police take you seriously,” but it sounds like they’ve already made up their minds.
About going after him in a civil case, the first thing to ask yourself is, does this guy have any money? Does he have a job? Can you realistically get your money back? If the answers are yes, then pursuing him may be worth it. If the answers are no, what do you want?
You may want to hold him accountable, even if you won’t get any money back. If so, you’ll need to file a civil lawsuit. Usually this means getting an attorney, which costs money. So do you want to throw good money after bad?
If you gave him the money a little at a time, you may be able to pursue him in small claims court. File a separate case for each loan. The good news is you can do this yourself without an attorney. And it will create a paper trail that he’s a con artist.
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