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So I’ve been with mine for eighteen months I started having Suspicions that something was off early in a few months in. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Since February we’ve been on and off because I break up with him over his lying and drinking and he comes crying and promising it’ll be different in June he met a girl online and was talking to her and lying about it so I broke up with him again last Monday we talked and decided to have a clean slate and he swore it was one date and he didn’t like her well Saturday morning I woke up to her friend saying they were intimate more than once and then screen shots of him love bombing basically. He dropped her twice to make things work with me and the last time she was mad because after two weeks she was buying him stuff and obviously having sex with him and he was def charming he. Then he lied about using protection. I’m sick over the whole thing I feel like he broke me. I never and no one actually thought he’d ever go to that level. He seemed so in love with me. Then he came again begging for me to forgive him he thought we were def broken up and he even went off on her calling her horrible names and begging her to help him get me back because he loves me so much. How can this even happen. I’m just sick to my stomach and disgusted and so hurt
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sweetbug- you say you break up because of his drinking. You might go to Al-Anon for support.
SG
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Hi sweetbug – after 18 months, if you cut contact now with the loser you were involved with, means that not enough time has transpired for too much deep damage to have occurred involving your sense of confidence and self esteem. His behavior is totally not acceptable. Because he has been triangulating you so much, your ego ( like the rest of us ) gets involved due to the devaluation involved in that kind of scenario, and when he comes around crying, the ego gets appeased. If you just “ bite the bullet “ and tell him to “ hit the road Jack, and don’t you come round no more “ ( as in the song ) – at first you might feel a bit of humiliation due to another female vying for his attention and seemingly to have “ won “ the competition. But anyone who is with him is the real looser because he is the looser. Please don’t feel disgusted with yourself because we are all vulnerable to being Love Bombed. Anyway, when you go No Contact with him, after a bit of time, your self confidence and sense of value will return. You are at a crucial time, because if you allow the relationship to continue longer then severe damage can be the result for your inner self and dignity and there is the danger of getting more and more enmeshed in a situation that is extremely toxic for you. There are many You Tubes and books to help you get through the initial discomfort of going No Contact, and for your personal education which will give you the knowledge and validation that you will need. Please continue to post if you feel the slightest need for support or would like any recommendations for books etc. So glad you posted. Welcome ! And Blessings
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sweetbug3 – welcome to Lovefraud. What you are describing is typical sociopathic behavior. It is shocking, it is horrifying, it is upsetting – and it’s never going to change. All that crying about how he loves you, how he made a mistake – well, that’s strategy #27 in the Sociopath Playbook. Just kidding about the strategy number, but they all act in the same way. So put the lowlife behind you. Then, be good to yourself. We have lots of information here on Lovefraud to help you.
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