How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Taking the sociopath to court
- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 10 months ago by mchoate.
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September 13, 2020 at 12:16 pm #63882sept4Participant
I made a topic last week about my doubts/regrets over not fighting my sociopath ex husband in court. At the time I was afraid of him and feared his retaliation and did not think I could win.
I knew he felt above the law and would act accordingly. So I chose peace and safety over money. But I’m not sure if that was the right decision.
Ruminating about this made me think of all the horribly damaging things that sociopaths do that are not even illegal! Their horrific character and behavior can be perfectly fine under the law (except in very specific circumstances).
For example:
Lying
Cheating
Manipulating
Gaslighting
Greed
Narcissism
Using people
Lack of empathy
Lack of morals
Lack of conscience
Lack of a soulCan all be perfectly legal and considered fine by the courts except in very specific circumstances (such as lying under oath or instances of fraud or theft etc where there is specific proof).
Where then is there any recourse against such people? In my case my ex’s friends were just like him and were covering for him and complicit. His family did not see his true character and likely would have supported him anyway out of love and empathy. So exposing him really would not have solved anything and moreover would have triggered his rage and retaliation.
And a court would not care about manipulative exploitative abusive behavior except in very specific circumstances, which are hard to prove because the sociopath will just lie in court and hide or destroy evidence and bribe witnesses etc.
Have any of you been successful in taking a sociopath to court to get justice against them?
- This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by sept4. Reason: Edited title
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September 14, 2020 at 7:11 pm #63887Donna AndersenKeymaster
The key here is that sociopaths must do something that is illegal. Courts aren’t supposed to make the law; they are supposed to adjudicate it.
The first step, therefore, is that legislatures must make appropriate laws. In England and Ireland, for example, coercive control is now illegal. We do not have a law like that in the United States.
Then, you need to convince the police to arrest someone who has violated the law.
Then, you need to convince a prosecutor to file charges against the person.
Then, finally, you need to prove the case in court.
These are a lot of hurdles.
But yes, some people have prevailed, in either criminal or civil court. I have heard success stories. Depending on the case, it can be done.
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November 19, 2020 at 6:31 pm #64513sept4Participant
Would love to hear more comments and opinions if anyone is reading this!
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March 23, 2021 at 1:30 am #65527mchoateParticipant
The creature who invaded our life made a couple key mistakes. He was desperate so he invited us into his home of course he had monetary motives.
He also thought he could manipulate me,
he thought we would look the other way or somehow excuse the things we saw him doing because we were in a vulnerable situation.
He thinks hes smarter than everyone.
His twi biggest mistakes were allowing us to get close to one of his victims a disabled veteran and he made the mistake of emotionally abusing my daughter when I wasn’t around.
He is now at the beginning of a court case for elderly financial abuse and I’d thrft facing up to 20 yrs
He is broke and has to have a public defender, he was forced out of the house and left everything in the house.
We have completely exposed him publicly for what hes been doing for 30 yearsIt’s taken a toll and I just wanted to walk away and move on but we knew he would continue to ruin lives and he clearly broke the law in a way he could be charged for first time.
They can be taken down and made to pay for what they have done, I’ve never met someone so evil and without remorse.
I will try and post the story in a separate thread but it’s a very long and complicated story. Everyone who knows the story says it could be a book. I just want to see him taken away in chains so my life can return to normal
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March 25, 2021 at 4:28 pm #65537funluvmusic25Participant
mchoate- my ex narcissistic sociopath was also brought to court for theft from an elderly woman who lived in another state. How he came into contact with her is still a mystery – possibly he was part of a ring who preyed on elderly- perhaps there was a list of names and phone numbers that they randomly contacted. I found out the details of this long after I was involved with him.
The story goes that he scammed this elderly woman out of both cash and checks. The woman’s daughter became aware of her mother’s missing checks and put a hold on her mother’s bank account asking banks to call her if anyone tried to cash the checks. Low and behold my ex walked into a bank with 4 checks in the amount of $4500 each wanting to cash them – mind you, he had no account of his own at this bank. As instructed the teller contacted the woman’s daughter who instructed the bank to call the police- that he was a crook who was scamming her mother. In walk several police officers who questioned him and my ex said “he had done some work for the woman” – of course this was a lie as she lived several states away. They hauled him off to jail charging him with theft of a vulnerable adult. Court dates were scheduled, rescheduled and delayed thanks to his attorney. Finally at a scheduled court date he was asked if he knew what he was doing was wrong, his reply was “not until I received the checks.” What a joke! Since the woman was elderly and it was hard for her to travel for all of the subsequent court dates her daughter agreed to a plea bargain reducing the charges from a felony to a misdemeanor, restitution of approximately $5500 – the amount of cash they figured the elderly mother sent my ex and one year probation. I’m guessing much of the plea bargain revolved around the fact he was not actually able to cash the 4 checks as the dollar amount of the theft typically determines the sentence. He served the probation, yet did not actually pay off the restitution until right before his probation sentence was up for review. The sad part of this story is the elderly woman’s passing coincided with the end of his year’s probation. I was able to actually speak to the daughter who relayed the story to me and it was heartbreaking to hear the toll it took on her family. She relayed my ex had the audacity to tell her very religious mother that he was a minister. I’m sure he found that would be a sure-Fire vulnerability to easily prey on.
Sometimes they get caught, yet it astounds me to hear of the plea bargains that once again release them to the world at large. They continue to go on living above the law looking for ways to continue their evil ways.
I hope your ex spends a majority of his life behind bars for his crimes. I’m certain they never come away being rehabilitated as their personality disorder is ingrained in their DNA.
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March 30, 2021 at 3:58 pm #65552mchoateParticipant
Through my diligent research made possible by the fact he was kicked out of the house by APS and left all of his stuff including boxes of paperwork, I have been able to locate and contact with over a dozen previous victims or living families of victims. He would find women 15-35 years older who were lonely and had money, get into a relationship and then they would just give him money, cars etc and he would of course get them to create a living trust with him as trustee, he would also befriend older men and would get them to let him use their credit card with promises of paying the bill but would just max it out and not pay. Since he was a master at keeping everything in the realm of civil law there is noting you can to when someone has no assets to attach.
He is a class 1 preditor, thankfully since I and a few others who have been scammed by him have been totally brutal with exposing him in every possible social media format he has lost all of his supporters with money and does not have money for a high powered attorney so is relying on the public defender which I understand the one he has is lousy so he won’t be getting a sweet plea deal besides I don’t believe he will ever admit guilt so he will fight to the end which is what we all hope for since it will result in a harsh sentence
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