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Today is day one of leaving a narcasstic and abusive relationship. After five years of planning, trying to leave and coming back, I finally feel strong enough to let things go. After so much time full of anxiety, sadness and inability to sleep, it finally feels good to breathe out and know that I will be ok. I met this person on the internet and he was so charming at first, spending money on me and doing the most extravagant things. It changed in a heartbeat and was pure hell. This is my first time posting so please be nice. There is a lot of anxiety for me to manage and I am scared of what he will do. Any advice from someone who has experienced this is more that welcome!!
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CONGRATULATIONS Kitten100 on your new found FREEDOM!!!!???
You should be so proud of yourself for enduring hell & now for crawling out of hell and into the day light!!
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!! on your incredible strength & courage!!???
I will post later. ?
ps look into the symptoms of Adrenal fatigue. anxiety is an issue with this. See sites like Adreanlfatigue. org and DrLam. com & the net for more info. You most likely are suffering from PTSD which I believe the root health issue is Adrenal fatigue (at least that was the case when I left my ex h.
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ps talk to the National domestic violence hotline 800-799-SAFE (USA) or your country’s hotline and talk to them about a SAFETY & EXIT PLAN.
You can also google those words with the words domestic abuse. See you tube videos also. Let your friends, family & trusted neighbors know so they can look after you too. Make a phone call every morning & night to your most trusted family so that they know you are ok & if not they can call the police if something feels amiss.
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Kitten100 I can’t believe what you wrote sounds just like my life. Today is my first day to leave whatever this man is. I have been in this relationship for 5 years. I am a professional and I have been mentally and physically torn to pieces. This man claims he loves me and I got so caught up in it that I lost myself. He lies so terribly, he belittled me in front of people, he expected things to be his way. I had a gut feeling something was wrong for years and things got worse. I didn’t take my first instinct and run. I feel today I am strong because now I am sick of his crap!!! He always wanted to push my buttons like he gets pleasure of making me hurt, see me jealous and have anxiety out of the roof. He seemed so cruel but yet turned around and say it was my fault. I want to be strong tomorrow the day after that the day after that. This is the sickest mess I have ever encountered and I don’t know why I let this happen to me
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Kitten100,
You can do this. You have to believe that you deserve better and you do. Do you have a support system in place? If you are concerned about your safety, please, please do as others suggested and get in touch with The National Domestic Hotline. Be gentle with yourself and try to stay focused on the present – just one day (sometimes one minute) at a time – you only need to think about right now. Honor and cherish yourself. And reach out here anytime you need support. Calliope
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kitten100 and melvin18 – congratulations to you both!! What you both are describing is typical sociopathic behavior. You have made the right decision – the guy will never change and never treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
No Contact is the answer. This is critical. Do not initiate contact with the man. Do not respond to any contact from the man. No contact is the path to healing.
We have lots of information here on Lovefraud that may help you. You might want to type “addicted to a sociopath” in the google search bar at the top of this column for lots of helpful articles. You also might want to check out our webinars to understand what happened and how you can recover. Click “courses” in the gray menu bar at the top of the page.
You can get past this. Give yourself time and permission to heal.
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I can definitely relate to the anxiety. I was discarded at the end of June, and I’ve nearly had panic attacks driving anywhere near her apartment (sometimes I have to run errands for work, or even when I just drive downtown my chest will tighten). It’s caused me to avoid places I would normally go. I’ve stayed in my house a lot more. Sometimes I’m sitting at home and I suddenly panic at the thought of her driving to my apartment.
I think abusive relationships like this can lead to complex PTSD. I’m not saying that’s what you or I have, but it definitely feels like an unusual amount of anxiety that I’m feeling. However, I am seeing a therapist and if you’re not seeing one, I would suggest meeting with one who specializes in abusive relationships like this. It has helped me put things in perspective.
Please be strong. It does get easier, but it is very hard at first. Sending love!
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you can do it.
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no contact is the way.
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I just can’t believe that these people exist. I’m so confused and I feel so lied to. He’s running my name through the mud and saying I chased him. He was obsessed with me- he’s married and he said he was so in love with me that he couldn’t fix his marriage. That they were roommates only. He wanted to come over every morning as soon as his kids left for school he said he had to see me. His wife was a school teacher so in May he started saying he should fix his marriage. It made sense I was seasonal. His wife was out of school for the summer. I told him this and I knew what he was doing and he flipped on me.
I want revenge. He can’t get away with this. -
sbff8, WE HEAR YOU!! Keep venting hon!??
I know it’s a nightmare being with a sociopath, but also when your mind finally wakes up to the con game they have been running since day one.
I’m sorry, that you were sucked into this sociopaths con game. Thankfully, you now know the truth = he’s a sociopath!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not seek out revenge!
Sociopaths are masterful manipulators & have had a plan in place since day one to flip the table on the true victim. Your ex no doubt has had a plan encase you expose him. They are pure evil.
I have read many post here at love fraud and other support sites where the sociopath has flipped the table and got the victim arrested! So please just keep venting.
The best revenge is to go full no contact, heal & have a good happy life. Sociopaths hate that good people are happy. SO this is the best revenge.
Huge hugs to you hon!! ??Take one day at a time, somedays one minute or one second at a time.
You will get to a point I promise that you will not even think about him. It takes time & processing all the lies & manipulation to get to that point. So keep reading & venting. Donna has also created courses to learn more (see yellow tab on home page) and watch the videos up at the top over & over. ???
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I don’t know how his wife doesn’t know. I would never ever have ever talked to a married man. But he said they were not “in a marriage “ that they were more like roommates. No sex, no love. Raising kids that’s it. That he wanted to have a life with me.
Once I started catching on to his stuff I called him out. He then started treating me differently. No more love bombing. He said he needed to work things out with his wife and be a good husband. I said ok go do that! I never ever asked him to leave his wife. He would say “I’m sorry I broke your heart “. I let him know that no. He did not break my heart.
The sudden change in him though- is this the discard? He went from being so sweet to me and loving to cold. The videos I’ve watched on love bombing were exactly what he did to me. I felt like we were best of friends and I’m so hurt he turned out this way. M
When I did expose him (not to his wife but a mutual friend close to him) he basically blackmailed me. Him and his friend- who I thought would see what he is and what he does. They printed a private picture of me and addressed my family- friends- and job and said if I ever went to his wife they would mail the envelopes. It can’t be legal. I have had no contact with him i deleted him on everything. I just am so angry he gets away with this. I know you say no revenge but this jerk is going to keep doing it.
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