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Hello.
I was involved with a man who turned out to be an Abusive Sociopath. In addition- aside from being a Narcissist and Sociopath this guy had a serious Sexual and Drug addiction. Early on- this guy did want sex all of the time. As time progressed, he became more demanding, assertive, domineering and even threatening at times. His mood swings began to frighten me. Then he began openly using various drugs in front of me. At times- he forced the drugs on me and foolishly I took the drugs. It was like I was in a trance or being controlled by a sick abusive psycho that used me for my Body and he completely dominated my inner being including my soul. I knew he was cheating on me and I did confront him.
However- he was an excellent liar and con artist so i began to doubt myself and permitted him to continue his uhealthy behaviors and his abuse of not only myself but other women. After about a month I noticed that this man needed SEX as a fix just like drugs. I became frightened but I don’t know why i continued in this Dangerous relationship. It was truely making me sick- withdrawn- unhappy and I basically knew the whole relationship could never really materalize. It became more volatile over time. My Boyfriend became more aggressive- abusive and easily picked arguments. I realized he had no respect for me as a person and was using me completely. It was like he owned me and every move i made. I felt trapped in a dangerous web of lies- deceipt- degrading sex- disrespect and abuse.
As time went by he got worse- more demanding- his behavior became more odd- he controlled me right and left. The sex becme more abusive and unpleasant. I felt like an object. I tried to break off all ties with this master manipulator but he would not let me. I kept going along with all this insanity. Finally- we had a huge crashing out “so to speak”.
The relationship finally ended. But the relationship and my former Boy friend still haunts me. I have nightmares and i think about the abuse i suffered at the hands of a sociopath. I seem to distrust men now. I can’t secure another relationship- I feel haunted by the past. What can I do? How do i break free from the old reltionship and my old boyfriend so i can once again enjoy life..Please help? Offer advice & suggestions? Thanks
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clearsky 28 – I am so sorry for your experience. You are right – the guy is a complete sociopath.
Relationships with sociopaths are highly addictive, and you became addicted. In fact, You became trauma-bonded, and probably suffered from complex PTSD. That is why you could not break away. It was a serious psychiatric injury.
We have a lot of information on Lovefraud about being addicted to a sociopath – type “addicted to a sociopath” in the search bar at the top of this column. Also, you might want to check out our webinars – especially our no, “Self-Care for Complex PTSD” webinar.
If you seek counseling, try to find someone who specializes in trauma. But not all therapists understand what happens in a relationship like the one you experienced. If a counselor doesn’t seem to know what you are talking about, try another one.
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I cant really give you any advice, except to say Ive been there. Mine wanted sex a lot..which I thought meant he really DID love me. I had never had much physical affection from my parents, so it was wonderful to be touched/loved/shown affection..But, after marriage, all my loving/sex from him, became just SEX..the loving part disappeared..it was SEX ON DEMAND, any time of day or night, whereever HE wanted it..seldom was I able to say no. It was rough, abusive, often next to rape in my mind/body. The more I protested, resisted, the more it turned him on. By the time, I ended the marriage, my body felt beat up, my mind burned out. I’ve not had sexual relations with anyone since..not sure I want to ever resume that part of me again. No, I dont trust men, not hardly the nice ones. I havent dated either. I have friends, a life, just not any romantic (whatever that means) life. My help has been a stack of books on controllers/manipulators/psychpaths..and time, lots of time.
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clearsky How are you doing?
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