Narcissistic Mother – how I can to to build borders

[singingintherain]

First, I want to tell great thanks – I read the book “Psychopaths free”, and for the first time in life everything fell into place.
I finally understood that I have the right for life that I not a fiend, not silly, useless, bad and ugly.
I am 33 years old, and my mother – the psychopath. Of course, I married the same psychopath, I divorced now.
But right now, when I received confirmations to what black is really black, I don’t know how to build borders and how to not be afraid. My mother and I fortunately live separately, I have a daughter, she is 8 years old.
But the fear constantly squeezes me, I feel it physically – I am afraid both for myself, and for my daughter. I am afraid of actions of the mother, and I am afraid that she somehow will influence my daughter.
I understood that I deserve the right for luck and quiet life, but at heart I still have doubts – whether is valid I good whether really I have the right to live. I from Russia, therefore an opportunity to read the book and to find this forum – so great happiness! These subjects aren’t in our country, they can’t be discussed – it is rather accepted to condemn more children and to acquit parents if only parents didn’t kill the children.
How to cease to be afraid how to build borders?
And how not to deprive the daughter of communication with the grandmother – if the grandmother the psychopath?

And please forgive for my terrible English!

• This topic was modified 7 years, 12 months ago by singingintherain.

[cyberops]

Can’t understand what is your story?

[yellowsubmarine]

You need professional help. You still don’t understand the emotional and physical damage that a true narcissist can inflict on an innocent being as your daughter. They should not have contact, nor should you. I understand the fear. I fought it for 40 yrs but I don’t have children, on urpose, since genetics have a lot to do with mental disorders.
It may be that your mother is not a narcissist after all, but is high on narcissism. Still, the subtle manipulations, the innocent lies, the seemingly charming comments a narc can perform on a child could be damaging for life. It’s up to you. And yes, in Russia there are youtube groups that deal with this issue.

[nosp]

I think singingintherain is talking about setting boundaries.
Luckily there are plenty of resources on that topic in English online.
I don’t speak or read Russian sorry.

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