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My story is a bit different as it wasn’t a romantic relationship with a Sociopath nor were the attacks stealth once they started.
I was once good friends with someone who turns out to be a sociopath, let’s call her Krissy. Krissy got slighted when I became good friends with one of her friends (let’s call this other friend Elle). Elle and I went out once when Krissy had recently just given birth, apparently Krissy took so much offense on that. Then enter a few more shallow reasons – Elle and I took our kids to an event without Krissy, I organized a party for my child and didn’t ask Krissy to help prep BUT Krissy was invited to the party, etc, etc. The “last straw” for Krissy was a Holiday party that Elle and I attended, it was hosted by another friend who Krissy hasn’t met. That’s when the lashing out begun. Krissy then started calling and meeting up with people, anyone really who remotely knows my name, and started telling them that I am a liar and a snake, for reasons she couldn’t quite justify to her audience in the beginning. Krissy then blocked me and Elle in all socia media platfotms. Little did I know that Krissy had someone spying on one of my social media accounts. A few months later, Elle and I attended Krissy’s ex’s birthday party, her ex is also very close to Elle. It turns out Krissy’s spy sent her a screen shot of photos I posted from the party. The day after the party, Krissy texted her ex, pretty much threatened him (I guess threatened me and him) all because Krissy’s ex let me “disrespect” her, just because I was at his party. Krissy also told his ex that from then on, Krissy will not allow for any playdates between my child and theirs. Immediately after I found out, I blocked anyone in my social media account who might potentially be Krissy’s spy. Apparently after that, Krissy hunted my ex down (they didn’t know each other), all because Krissy knew that my ex and I have always battled over custody. Long story short, Krissy has my ex manipulated claiming that she never hated on my child (which I told my ex) that it was me that Krissy didn’t around her child because as Krissy claimed, I was just using her child (Using for what reason, I still don’t know). My ex also believes that I am the one who is out to ruin Krissy. Krissy even reached out to one of my relatives and twisted something I said in the past and added other lies to her story to make my relative hate me. Krissy and my ex are now dating which I couldn’t care less about, what I care about is what she might do to my child since she now has a way to get to my child through my ex as my ex and I have joint custody. I also just found out that Krissy has been telling people that I was the inconsiderate and evil one for sleeping with her ex and for dating her ex, which are all lies! At one point I asked one of our common friends to ask Krissy if we can just both talk to put an end to all of these, of course Krissy declined.
Krissy has lost so many friends in the last few years, mostly because she hated their partners for no reason at all and always felt like she was being attacked, when she really wasn’t. People who’ve known her in the past are aware of who she really is. It’s the new circle that Krissy befriended (my ex and my ex’s friends – my old circle, plus that one relative of mine) who have bought in into all the lies she made up against me. Currently, I seem to be Krissy’s favorite target as this has been going on for more than 6 months now.
I read through multiple articles about sociopathy and the common advise seems to be to just go no contact but I am worried about my child being exposed to Krissy. Help please!
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dakotasun- Make it clear you and your child want no contact with the sociopath. Get support for yourself. You can come here.
SG
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Hi Dakotasun,
Wow – that Krissy sure knows how to tangle things up and use others to obey her negativity and to be instruments for her hatred. I understand how concerned you are about your child’s well being. The worst of it is that Krissy is trying to also put your child in the middle of her sickness. You can remedy this though: Have a talk with your child and explain that for some reason Krissy doesn’t like you, but that your child should never feel like he or she ( you didn’t mention gender ) has to take sides. Explain that he or she has nothing to do with any of it. That your child can love the Dad, and enjoy his friendships, and that will not take away the love you and your child have for each other. Also let him or her know that he or she can always come and talk to you if they feel uncomfortable about anything. Other than that, just ignore Krissy and her petty maliciousness, knowing that it has everything to do with her and her sickness, and that the best you can do is to keep as far from it as possible. Lastly, if in the future, your child seems like they are being affected, I would get counseling for your child. But remember, Your child will not be interacting extensively with Krissy, and children can have more understanding than we realize. Your child has been brought up with so much love from you, and so will naturally turn to the more beautiful feeling of love that you give.
Blessings to you. -
Dear Dakotasun,
Along with the excellent advice above, when you have a quiet moment, look back on your relationship with Krissy, and you will see signs of this in Krissy from the beginning. You need to be able to identify people like Krissy early before you get involved with them. It will take time to heal, and you will be vulnerable to other sociopaths until you heal. Sociopaths can smell a wounded person a mile away. Learn all you can here and by reading Donna Andersen’s books to gain awareness and strength. Think you will realize Krissy was never your friend, but feigning friendship in order to take advantage of you and Elle. Also, I would suggest to Elle to come here and learn along with you, and read Donna’s books. Suspect you two will have a lot more in common than you realize!
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Dakotasun,
It is also possible that Krissy will majorly burn your ex, and that he and his friends will end up seeing her for what she really is. This may take some time. But these types can NEVER keep up the facade for too too long, before they crack. As for your relative, the same may happen. I hope this is not a relative you were super close to. Remember, family is just that. Just people you are related to by blood, not your lifeline.
I had a ‘friend’ like this when I was in my early 30’s. We were friends for about a year before she completely lost her mask of sanity and showed her full sociopathic self. She ran off several of my friends, who also didn’t want anything to do with me because of her lies about me. At the time it felt scary and devastating. But life has taught me a few things. One of which is most of us don’t have the same circle of friends our whole lives, and that losing a few along the way (no matter the reason) is normal.
Please do talk to your child so they know they can tell you anything, and that they don’t have to feel isolated. This way if she does start to mess with them they will know they can come to you, AND they may not feel so weird if it happens.
I am glad you found Lovefraud….the folks here really do understand
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Good advice.
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Dakota- I would tell your child sociopath krissy is a very sick person, that most people are nice but some are sick and destructive. It is unfortunate she has to learn this at a young age but it is good tp be educated.
SG
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