Ready to give up custody

[Tweety66]

I have had custody of our kids for 4 1/2 years. Throughout this time my ex has filed 47 court motions and we have gone to court 21 times. He represents himself and gets to cross examine me in court, much to his delight. Since February my 12 year has grown to despise me. I am sure some of it normal teen angst,but her dad has been behind much of it. He called the police on me when I sat at the school to observe him picking my son up two hours early from a band practice (Band teacher had alerted me it was going to happen again). He has threatened me with calling the police when I have taken our daughter’s cell phone for refusing to wear rubber bands for her braces. He has threatened to come and pick her up and take her to his house 90 miles away on a school night just because I had taken a priveledge away from her for mouthing off to me. I had to call the police to prevent it from happening.
I have tried to get her into counseling, but she tells me her only issue is me. My ex has said he will refuse to pay for any counseling fees, because my daughter’s only issue is me and he isn’t paying for counseling for my issues. And she has gone so far as to tell me if the court makes her stay with me, she will make me wish I were dead. And that she is going to try and get me fired from my job.
He has the kids for Thanksgiving this year. I had planned to take the kids out for a nice meal last night. And my daughter refused to even go.
My heart is broken, but I am done with fighting. And I know if he gets custody the demeaning attitude will get worse from my ex and kids. So the only real way ahead is to right off even really getting to see them again. Otherwise I would be torn apart even worse.
I am broke financially. I now have to take blood pressure medication. And all the time and energy spent on the court issues has affected my job. And in the end my kids have believed my ex anyway, because he has been relentless in attacking me to them and i have remained mum about him.

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