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I think I was at risk of getting pulled into bad relationships /magnet for a sociopath because I had a difficult childhood with emotionally abusive parents. Do people from loving families who have a solid support system get pulled in by sociopaths as well ?
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Yes unfortunately.
My family is loving and warm and supportive. But I still got targeted and trapped by a sociopath.
I think actually my family upbringing made me more susceptible because I was very naive and trusting. I thought the world in general was like my family. Honest and loving and trustworthy. So I projected all those values on him and just naturally assumed he was the same. That made it very easy for him to manipulate me.
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sept4 – I totally agree – I had what could be called an idyllic childhood — living in a peaceful rural small town, raised by kind intelligent and loving parents, siblings who played with me, supported me, and wiped away my tears, teachers who encouraged me. I, too, expected the rest of the world to be like us. However, I was also very shy, introverted, emotional, studious and gullible – I fell for my siblings jokes and tricks every time. I was constantly bringing home hurt critters. My friends were always the kids no one else liked. I was easily hurt by unkind words or actions at school, was teased and bullied, and craved peer acceptance. I think that is what set me up to fall for first an alcoholic emotional abuser, then a series of loser/users, then the narcissistic spath. I believed their tales and woes and thought I could be the one to save them – to change them – to cure them. So – it could be those raised by sociopathic parents get used to being treated that way and mistake it for love. But it could also be your innate personality and belief system that leaves you wide open to such manipulators. I don’t know. Perhaps if I learned how to spot those who could harm me earlier I might have avoided pain. Sadly, only experience taught me that hard lesson.
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Emilie yes it’s sad that experience has to teach us there are so many bad people out there who will lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, use etc to get what they want. And that they can present as wonderful charming and charismatic people to reel in their victims.
It would be amazing if adolescents were educated in school or by their parents about the warning signs of sociopaths. But I don’t think society is ready for that. Most people are still clueless about sociopathy. And society in general I think would rather ignore the fact that so many bad people exist.
There is some progress on a society level though. For example the Me Too anti sexual harassment movement and the Epstein case and child abuse in organizations like the church and Boy Scouts etc. These have made society in general a bit more aware that bad people with cruel intentions can present as good charming trustworthy people as a strategy to groom and manipulate their victims.
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I too came from a reasonably normal family. Not perfect – what family is? – but my parents did their best. But I still ended up with unhealthy beliefs – such as that I was liked/loved because of my achievements, not for simply being me. This erroneous belief set in motion a series of events that led me to the sociopath. And healing the erroneous belief is what set me free.
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Recently visited my family for the holidays and was reminded of this topic again.
They are so trusting and so welcoming and open to people and they genuinely believe in the good in people. That is how I was raised to think too and sadly that makes you a perfect target for manipulation.
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