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We had been dating going into our 4th year. I broke up with him in Nov. 2017 due to just being so depressed/unhappy. I caught him several times cheating with a married woman in our relationship. I had no trust and extreme misery/PTSD. I remained friends with him because he told me if I ended our friendship..”it would be game on”. I said “What does that mean? He said you will find out. We are not intimate anymore…we hang out with friends on the weekend. We talk on the phone nightly. I feel like his babysitter now. But, I am so scared to really cut contact. He has said some weird sick stuff joking before..like..he would cut me up and feed me to my dog. Or throw me off a balcony when we were 17 floors up on vacation. He loves horror movies/gore and also talks about killing people when they cut him off in traffic. I bought a gun in Dec. I have to take a class to use it. I don’t know anything about them! I can’t afford security system yet for my home. I’m so paranoid it is driving me crazy. I am sick most of the time with my nerves now. I do have a wonderful therapist who knows all this stuff. I pray all the time, I just can’t shake this fear. I am stuck. I was married to a narc for 7 years/together 10 total. He never said twisted stuff like this. I believe this one is a full psychopath. I want to break away for good…this fear is holding me frozen. Please pray for me.
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In the U.S. it is a crime/felony to make a criminal threat. don’t know where you are.
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Hi Newdawn, It’s terrifying to read your post, I cant even imagine the fear you are living because of his horrific words.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact your local abuse center ASAP for help out of this extremely emotional, mental & verbally abusive nightmare of a relationship. YOU ARE NOT ALONE HON so please reach out for more help!!
In the USA you can call the National Domestic Violence hotline 800-799-SAFE 24/7 to talk with a free counselors who can help you with an “Domestic Abuse Exit plan” and a “Domestic abuse safety plan” (google these two terms) ASAP. Also google those words with “you tube” to watch videos on this.
YOU need help out of this relationship!!
Also tell your most trusted family & friends what is going on in this relationship! They will be able to help you also & most importantly watch out for you when you do leave.
The most dangerous time for a woman in a abusive relationship is when she is either leaving or has just left. SO PLEASE be careful & contact the abuse center as they will be able to help stay safe!!
My ex made similar comments. The first one he ever told me was right after he conned me into living with him (to pay his bills) he told em that “if I ever left him he would kill me”. I was stunned. I said to him “what did you just say”, his response “I didnt say anything” (he was gas lighting me). Years later if he were watching a violent movie at home (which I hated to do/he loved them) he would tell me he could kill someone & hide them in the woods. I always felt like he had killed someone & was letting me know. Still to this day I wonder. But I also know he was telling me this to control me & place me in fear. When I escaped my marriage I too was in hyper vigilant mode. It’s very scary to feel all those emotions so intensely like you are experiencing now.
Most victims of abuse suffer from PTSD without knowing it. So I am glad you understand this fact. I believe the root issue of PTSD is adrenal fatigue (goggle). The adrenal glands regulate our blood pressure, blood sugar, cortisol & adrenaline levels (fight, flight or freeze mode) and over 50 hormones. THEY ARE A HUGE DEAL!
With the continual stress, chaos of a toxic relationship our adrenal glands become fatigue & as a result dont regulate the above list properly which in turn wreaks havoc on your body & mind.
You right now are in Hyper vigilant mode. Due to possibly the adrenal glands not functioning correctly & the serve stress you are under because of this evil man.
Some symptoms of Adrenal fatigue:
hyper vigilant
racing mind
sleep issue
anxiety
depression
mood swings
not being able to handle stressetc etc. Its a long list
See sites like:
Dr Lam. com
Adrenal fatigue. org
for a full list of symptoms.
On another site, the site creator asked victims if they had health issues during their relationship. Over 400 people responded YES!! Most if not all their symptoms were the same as mine and they were all Adrenal fatigue symptoms.
So look into getting a health check from an Endocrinologist doctor or a listed doctor on say the site Adrenal fatigue. org. I have zero affiliation to these sites except for the fact my own doctor when I left my ex, a sociopath, gave me Dr Wilsons adrenal fatigue vitamins & a Rx of progestrone pills. Within hours of taking these my anxiety was half. Within weeks I felt more back to my old self.
I’ll right more later.
SENDING YOU HUGE HUGS HON. I am so proud of you for researching for answers which lead you to this wonderful site & for having the courage to post tonight. And for finding a counselor to help you! These are HUGE steps in leaving this abuser. Keep stepping forward & contact the abuse center ASAP!!
Take care.
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Home deport & lowes both have home security systems that you can purchase just for you door or windows (each separately) for around $15 each. They use batteries vs hard wiring and they are easily to attach to the door with a simple screw driver. It will take you about 10 mints to install.
They also have full home security systems for $200. If your parents, family or friends can buy this for you.. PLEASE ASK THEM TO!! Your life is being threaten. LISTEN TO HIS WORDS.
I believe you are correct = he is a psychopath!!
KEEP A JOURNAL OF EVERYTHING HE SAYS TO YOU! With dates, times, place, every little detail. This can be used in court.
Also when you tell your most trusted friends & family ask them to keep a journal also with every little detail you give them. They can be witness in court.
Dont isolate yourself from telling your most trusted friends & family what is going on. One of the first things a sociopath does is isolates their victims from their family & friends. Much like a lion maneuvers a target away from the Hurd = makes the target more vulnerable.
WE HEAR YOU HON!! WE BEILVE YOU!! ?
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I just looked on Home Depots site real quick. They have a two pack door alarm for $14.97. You could put one on your front door & one on your bedroom door. That way if the front door goes off you will wake up & call the police and the same with your bedroom door. These really do work well. The store also carries these. For your windows you can get window film (like car tinting material, that are easily to install and if someone tries to break the window the film prevents them from gaining entry.
Also you can install a wood stick (i.e. 2 x 4 cut to size) in the window track so that a window or sliding door can not be opened. Better is the window & sliding door device that you drill into the window & stick a medal device into the drilled whole so that the window or door can not be opened. This all will give you peace of mind. I know money is tight but ask your friends & family for help so that you have peace & a good night sleep.
PS I just googled Homedepot sliding door & window protection devise and there are many starting at $7. If you look on line you can read reviews on each product.
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Buy a gun….learn how to use it. Guns are for women too!
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Gray rock can work but you need support. I use it with neighbors who are stalkers.
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